It happened to me

Why Is My Chronic Pain Not Going Away?

You only truly understand the pain of Sciatica once you live with it daily

What started as an ordinary day, has changed my life. A year ago, I took my granddaughter to a toddler playgroup. As I sat down on the floor, I banged my lower back against a piece of wooden skirting board that was jutting out of the wall behind me.

I remember a moment of excruciating pain. I wanted to scream.

But there were lots of toddlers and parents present and I did not want to scare them. Or create a fuss. Somehow, I got through the singing and managed to get her back home.

Then I took a painkiller, and laid down on my bed thinking all I needed was some rest …

I have always been grateful that I have experienced good health.

I felt sympathy for those who did not. Their aches and pains were invisible to me. I would listen and nod sympathetically as they told me of their ailments.

But I didn’t truly understand. I lacked empathy.

It is not until you walk in their shoes that you have a true experience of what another may feel.

I have suffered the ache of the heart from loss. I can empathize with those experiencing the same affliction

But a broken leg. A faulty hip. Back pain.

I had not experienced these.

No operations, no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol.

I took pride in leading a fit and healthy lifestyle.

When It All Changed

That was until a year ago when all that became history.

When I woke up after that rest, I could not get out of my bed. I was crawling on all fours. The pain in my lower back was excruciating.

I presented myself at Accident & Emergency and the doctor momentarily looked me over and diagnosed Sciatica. Told me it would take a few weeks to settle, and sent me packing with a script for a cocktail of pain medication and a follow-up MRI.

Three Months Later

The MRI was completed.

With the pain in my back still lodged firmly in place.

I struggled to walk any distance. Before this, I was a keen walker and would easily walk a couple of hours a day.

I had little movement in my right leg and ankle, and could not manage the control pedals in the car without experiencing shooting pain, so had to temporarily stop driving.

I couldn’t continue with yoga as my balance was non-existent and I struggled with any stretches. It hurt so bad.

It was debilitating.

No One Would Listen

I called my doctor constantly. This was towards during covid and it was not easy to get an appointment. Finally, the doctor agreed to refer me for physiotherapy.

The physiotherapist however was not providing face-to-face appointments, due to the pandemic. They offered a telephone consultation.

Yes, I kid you not. And sent me some exercises to try. And that was the end of that.

The physio said, “I’d be right as rain in a few weeks,” without even setting eyes on me! 🤦🏽‍♀️

But of course, I wasn’t.

The Pain Continues to Grow

So back (no pun intended) I went to my doctor and complained and complained of the pain still living in my back and right-hand side of my body.

He put me on stronger medication. First, was Pregabalin which did not agree with me, I was like in a dazed state on it. Then Gabapentin, which also made me sleepy, and drowsy, and I could not concentrate on this.

I could not function as the medication's side effects were worse than the pain. Also, they weren’t helping a lot as the pain remained in place.

Still not believing the extent of my pain, I was told to give it a bit longer. “These things take time to heal”, they said.

Now I can truly empathize with those who experience chronic pain not visible to others.

It has drained me physically and also emotionally. I feel that I have been labeled as a time waster and malingerer. But I am not.

I have never thought this would happen to me. It was just a pain in the back, after all, I never thought it would continue this long or even grow.

What Lesson Has It Come To Teach Me?

I have more empathy for those experiencing chronic pain which is something you can’t always see, like a broken leg or arm.

I never knew that back pain like this could reduce your quality of life to such an extent. But it does.

It is a vicious cycle, the less you do, the worse the pain becomes. But you do less because it is painful.

What Can You Do About It?

I have always been a believer in the power of the mind, so was interested to come across the book “The Pain-Free Mindset” by Dr. Deepak Ravindran who is a leading pain consultant in the UK.

He Discusses the Difference Between Pain and Nociception.

*I’m not a health professional, but this is what I have learned from reading this book.

Pain is a ‘signal by the brain of danger in the body’.

Dr. Ravindran explains Nociception, like this, “It is what we feel when there is a perception of a harmful signal from a body part. The signals go to the spinal cord and then onto the brain.”

This “nociception sends signals to these areas of the brain and the brain will decide what the final message is.”

“Even though harm signals (nociception) is happening, the body and brain do not have to express pain.”

This he says is the major shift in understanding pain.

Pain and nociception are different.

He offers a 7 step practical toolkit for managing chronic pain, starting with the mindset and a pain management plan.

I’m only partway through and feeling optimistic about this approach

Can we really reduce the sensation of chronic pain by harnessing the power of our minds?

Here are some other stories I have read along this theme of chronic pain.

At What Age Do You Give In And Take That Pill? by Susan Wheelock

Why Do I Have Sciatica Pain? by Pamela Oglesby

Suffering Sciatic Nerve Injury Really is a Pain by Mike Butler

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