Why Is It So Easy, Yet Hard, To Say Yes?

Tuesday Prompt: Write about a very specific situation that you have rushed to say “yes” to in the past, even though it wasn’t what you truly wanted.

Yes, yes I have. It’s something I’m very conflicted about. You see, there are a few questions Diana C has posed along with the prompt.

Questions

Does this align with my values? Yes, it does. Totally.

Does this align with my purpose? Yes, it does. I want to be there for my family. I am the matriarch, and as such, a mom is there for her children, and a Lala (gma name) is there for the kidlets.

Am I saying yes out of love or fear? Yes, out of love. I love my family very much. Although, if I’m honest, there’s a bit of fear involved as well. Will I hurt someone’s feelings if I refuse? What will they think of me if I decline?

Now here is where we get to the heart of the matter:

Another Question

Would I say yes to this if I knew no one would be disappointed? Nope. I would not. I would be quite content to stay in my room, all by myself, doing my thing.

These things include watching the kids so Mom and Dad can go out. Whether that be for work or for play. Of course, I’m going to agree. I *could* say, no. There are others in the house who could do the job, but it feels wrong.

Part of me loves it when game time gets canceled. More me time… But then, when asked if we can reschedule, I agree. Outwardly I’m saying, “Yes, of course.” Inside, I’m crying out with frustration that I don’t want to. This is my time. I wasn’t planning on it. It’s being thrust upon me. I ‘should’ do it. I’m the matriarch, so of course, I ‘have’ to, it’s one of my jobs.

A Better Choice

This is one of those times when it would be so much better if I would remember I GET to be there to help my children with their children. I GET to spend time with those kidlets. I don’t ‘have’ to do anything, it’s a choice I’m making.

Accept it and enjoy the moment.