Human, Imperfection

Why is it Difficult for Humans to Accept Imperfection?

If other people can why can’t I?

Doing the best for everything you do is a good thing but sometimes it’s just hard to accept that we are terrible in some categories.

Once that happens, often we push ourselves to give extra effort on that.

We blame ourselves when we are failed and think we didn’t try enough and give maximal effort till we punish ourselves cruelly for one thing we focus on too much.

1. One Complete Package

You know, good and bad actually are only about perspective. Some of my friends say I’m too complicated while trying to question this and that which they think is unnecessary. But some others think I have good critical thinking which is good because it means that the choice I chose was not just following society.

Another example, I have a friend who is too strict about money. I’m a bit extravagant and think he’s stingy but actually, he’s a good financial management person for other people.

My best friend easily empathizes with others and I admit she really a good person. Though I just think she’s a people pleaser at the same time because often she prioritizes helping others more than herself.

So, as you can see, our behavior can present positive and negative spectrum lines from the eyes of other people. So, which one is the correct assessment? Probably both, or perhaps none of them or even in between. Do you know why? Because everything is one inseparable package.

Every good behavior has a bad side and vice versa. That’s why when we test personality there are always good and bad sides. there is no one ideal personality.

What you can do:

All you have to do is try to get to know yourself better every day. So, we can know what are the good and bad sides of what we have.

Not to be a perfect human but to maximize the good potential that can be maximized and vice versa and minimize the bad potential that can be minimized even though it is impossible to completely eliminate it.

2. Timeline Restriction

We seem to be forced to follow the timeline of “society in general”. If you’re twenty so, you should find a secure job, find the right partner then get married to have kids.

If you out the format then you are considered a failure.

I don’t know who determined this timeline until it was finally agreed by society in general and a quarter-life crisis was born where people who have not reached all the parameters feel like they have failed and are too late.

In fact, our starting point is different already. There are privileged, luck, and destiny that is beyond our control.

We are not robots that will produce the same energy just because they are made of the same frame. Even siblings produce different characters and fates even though they come from and grew up with the same parents.

So why do we have to agree to follow the timeline restriction that no one knows who made it?

What you can do:

Have your own timeline. It’s never too late to do something. Know your progress, you are doing great when you are now better than you were last year. Even when you fall and lose everything.

Actually, you never start from zero anymore during you have knowledge and experience that more worth than money.

3. Template Presupposition

Having a permanent job is considered better than being a freelancer. Owning your own business is better than being an employee. Being married is happier than a single. One who goes to college is better than one who drops out.

Have you often heard those shit things? For me, boring templates like that make us afraid to be different. Even though we are born with all the unique potential with all the good and bad sides.

But we destroy it just because it doesn’t fit the template. So, we forget that we are unique.

What you can do:

Usually, perspective is heavily influenced by the environment. So, expand your angle. Take a step back to see more. of the whole picture, not just certain parts. Go somewhere to a place you’ve never been. Meet new people, make friends.

If that’s too difficult start with your smallest circle first. Who is your following list on social media, what channel do you subscribe to, and also the character of your inner circle on a daily basis? Don’t hesitate to unfollow, unsubscribe, or mute posts that make you less worth what you currently have. You do you. You are free to be creative because life is for learning, not filling in templates.

4. A Thousand Door

When one door is closed, there are a thousand doors still open but, most often we more focus on the one door that is closed.

We’re too busy lamenting and weeping at the closed door so that the wide-open door around him is not seen. Though maybe the doors lead to your destination faster.

Though maybe another door is a shortcut. But we think the door is the only way to our destination. Because we see people around us reach where we want through that door.

Sometimes we prefer the closed door because as a human we are more afraid to enter a door that is not clear where the end is. We are too afraid to get lost if we try a door that opens randomly. Why? Because if we get lost, the time we will reach to our destination will be longer.

We are too afraid to be late to get there, even though how can there be a word late if the place we are going to is even open 24 hours.

What you can do:

Please don’t judge yourself when you are terrible in a specific field. Don’t judge yourself when you feel really bad in a certain place. Don’t judge yourself when there is someone out there who hates you no matter what you tried to be kind to.

This is simply because all of them are not for you. You are so precious in the right time, right place, and in the eyes of the right people. I know some people say this is an excuse because we are lazy to try more.

But baby, you know you tried already. You may be a coward if you say you can’t, but if you try. maybe it’s just not for you or maybe there’s something that needs to be done differently.

5. Level 2 and Level 6

Imagine you were born with natural talent as a singer. Those whose names are natural talents are usually already above average points even with less effort, but of course, they must be honed and perfected to be even better. But we somehow suck at math and the bad guys usually score below average.

Let’s say your grade to sing is 6 and your level in math is 2. Then you try to sharpen both with maximum effort. If you focus to practice sing your level probably up to 8 even 9 then you can become an expert. But, if you focus to practice math by investing the same amount of energy probably you will only reach level 3 or 4. Still far away from good. Then you feel bad, in fact, you’re just practicing the wrong field.

What you can do:

Focus on your strength. You probably need to fix your flaws but don’t force yourself to master that field. Allow yourself to admit your flaws and weakness. In fact, that’s what makes you stronger and doesn’t make you look weak at all. Be humble to say I can’t do “this” but I can do “that”.

Bottom Line

Success and failure is part of the human experience.

Both of them are one package like a coin that we can’t choose one side only. Being imperfect means you are human.

Because no one is ever perfect. Your imperfection doesn’t make you look bad but That’s exactly what brings out the uniqueness in you. Being imperfect makes us need to learn.

Being imperfect reminds us that we are human. People easy to love us in our good but with imperfection, we know who exactly cares about us.