A SHORT UGLIFYING RANT

Why Is Everyone Afraid Of The F*cking Letter ‘U’?

It’s unusual and unfair discrimination

Ever wake up in a mood?

Then show up for work and find a colleague and friend (*cough*, Christopher Robin) is in the same mood? Flames fucking fanned.

Yup, I typed The F-Word, and I left the ‘u’ in. No goddamn sensitivities-covering asterisk.

I like the old, Modern English of my American youth, but I live in the butt-corner of the world now and there is something to the old saying of ‘When in Rome…’. The metric system isn’t an issue, I got used to that at university. Celsius to Fahrenheit? Not a problem.

A few words and spellings, swapping r’s and e’s (‘center’ to ‘centre’) and adding missing u’s (‘color’ to ‘colour’) took some getting used to using.

I still mix up both versions of English.

A lot. Sometimes on purpose — because I find it fucking f*nny — but usually it’s purely accidental obliviousness on my part.

It’s why, when we added a ‘Humor’ tab to our Counter Arts publication, I used the Queen’s English and labeled the tab, “Humour”. With a ‘u’. The ‘u’ adds colour.

Why is the vowel discriminated against?

It’s usually the u’s or the i’s that get dropped and covered up with the proverbial fig leaf. Why? What did they ever do wrong?

I never see “The F-Word” written as ‘fu*k’ or “the S-word” written as ‘s*it’. I know, physiologically, the brain fills in the vowels easier and the reader can roll right on reading without missing a beat. But maybe the brain is discriminatory too.

I was going to write all of George Carlin’s famous “Seven Words”, using the arseter*sk, but a few of those words are rather vulgar and even I have a line. Plus, this is a creative, upstanding piece of humour, not just some shitty, fucking rant.

Thanks for reading.

I think I’m finished with my rant now. I do feel better. Writing really is good for the mind and soul.

I don’t usually swear much. I have a vocabulary and I like to use it — and broaden it. But someone (*cough*, yesnodunno) pointed out to me that Medium doesn’t “curate for further distribution” works that have swear words in the title.

Well, f*ck me. (and that’s the last time I’ll use an ‘*’… unless I find it f*nny)