Why Is Doing the Right Thing So Hard?

But Screwing up is so Easy”

@Lawson Wallace

“ You need to stop getting high, Lawson.”

“ You need to stop getting high, Lawson,” the voice whispered in my head through most of the eighties. I ignored it or tried to. I kept getting high, but I was enjoying it less and less as time went on.

It finally dawned on me. The weed was making me stupid, and It was having a detrimental impact on my maturity and spiritual growth. So I decided to give it up.

It was a struggle. I would relapse and have guilt trips. I finally quit getting high, but I had cravings, and I dreamed of pot for years afterward.

My life was better when I quit getting high. I could talk to my parents easier because I wasn’t feeling guilty. My thought processes improved noticeably. I know some people think weed is harmless; for me, it wasn’t a good thing.

My siblings and I went to church every Sunday. Mom wouldn’t have it any other way. I quit going before my mom died. I know it broke her heart. It was easy not going to church. I slept late and got up and watched football or read a book. Mom went to church alone

I couldn’t understand why I was unhappy. It dawned on me that I needed God in my life after all. I was in my trailer alone, I hadn’t prayed in a long time. I bowed my head. “ God,” I said directly, with no humility at all. “ You give me a Christian wife. I will go to church with her.”

I was serious too.

I willfully did the wrong things.

A few years later, I met and married Olivia. I had to go through years of loneliness and a period of unsatisfying hook-ups before I did the right thing.

Whereas before, I willfully did the wrong things. I now struggle with understanding what the right thing is. Luckily, I have a wife with wisdom and common sense to spare.

Life is hard but doing the wrong thing is easy. That’s why the shelters and prisons are full, and the churches are empty. I am glad there’s a forgiving and loving God.

I’m on the right track. It’s a hard road, but I couldn’t be happier.