Why (Indian) Relatives Are Toxic And We Still Keep Them?
My father used to be a favourite guy to many of our relatives. He used to get invited to most of the family events. Our house would be filled with cousins, aunts and uncles whenever there was an occasion like Diwali.
He is a giver.
Half of his earnings are spent on relatives’ marriages, their daughters’ marriages and my mother’s sister’s house building.
His daily earnings are way below the average Indian Income. So he had to work overtime to satisfy his need to give too much to our relatives.
On the other hand, my mother saves a lot of money. She stays happy with less things. She never wastes food. She plans what to cook every day and buys only needed groceries. She never cooks for our relatives and waits for them. She makes it only upon their arrival. she questions every choice of our spending to make us rethink. She is not liked by our relatives much.
Fast forward to 25 years, My father’s daughter (me, the only child) wanted to marry a guy from another caste (I hated myself for writing this word. Sometimes I even think this word was invented by Indians). He agreed after discussing it with relatives. It went all good and he got me married to the love of my life. Not all relatives welcomed this. They had to attend my marriage because my father spent so much money on many of their family events.
Now, My father cannot work harder. He has his own health issues. He cannot spend much. One by one, our relatives started skipping our family events. For one of my family events, I invited around 50 people and only 13 came. It didn’t disappoint me too much. But my father got hurt so much. For the first time, he felt used, he was alone and he faced the reality that he was the one who lost more, not THEM.
All those days, when my father was younger, My mother used to warn him about his spending, how cunning some of my relatives were, and how they turned their backs whenever he was unwell. My father never listened. He wanted to keep them forever.
He did all these for me. He thought that after him and my mother, my relatives and my cousins would be there for me. He was sad to find that he was wrong the whole time. He just didn't realize it.
He also didn't realize that her daughter could be on her own. I tried to make him understand this on many occasions. I studied well, I took care of my bachelor’s degree expenses, got a job, found my man and didn't even get a single penny from him for my marriage, I even gifted him a new house(not so big). Despite all this, He believed that relatives were a haven for him and me.
He was my safe place. He is. He will be forever. Not THEM.
If he asks me, I will say “I could be your haven for the rest of your life, Dad!”.
Thanks for reading! Please tap claps if you have time.
Disclaimer: I wrote about Indian Relatives because I know about them only.
