EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Why I’m Writing To You Now

From dreams of glory to a cautionary tale

First a warning. I’m going to tag a shit load of writers at the end of this, but it’s not for the reason you’re probably thinking. I’m really not that interested in a multitude of folks reading this missive, but I do want to send this message to a few of my friends — yes, I said friends — on this platform and I really hope they’ll read it.

Hope the damn notification system still works around here.

This is the first thing I’ve laid down on Medium in over a month. There’s a reason for that and maybe to some, it’s not a good one, but hell, anyone who knows me (and so few really do) can tell you I don’t always make the best choices. I started writing here three years ago and I had a plan.

Actually, it was more of a dream, but I called it a plan. A plan to make money from my writing, enough money to replace the income of my current JOB, enough steady income that would allow me to ride off into the sunset letting my brain and fingers do the walking.

For three years I fed on a daily load of bullshit dreams of glory, spurring myself to write each day and for a while I was content, telling myself I was moving closer to recognizing those dreams of glory.

The fact was I wasn’t moving at all.

My writing was lost in a sea of voices. I was drowning in a vast ocean of other people’s words and ideas and yet I continued to dog paddle and keep my head above water desperate to finally hit my stride. I must say, writing on Medium is addictive as hell and I was taking my daily dose of it. Each day “shooting up” never bothering to think about what it was doing to me. Ignoring the fact I had a life to live, a family who had always depended on me for emotional support.

And then reality set in.

One day about a month ago, I realized that if I really intended to make decent money, for me, this wasn’t the place to do it. I also saw a very ugly picture of myself and what spending three frustrating years on this platform chasing an elusive dream was doing to me.

I guess you could say — and I’m only speaking for myself here — on Medium, I spent these last three years attempting to achieve dreams of glory when all I was really doing was becoming little more than a cautionary tale.

So, I stopped writing here and refocused on creating a revenue stream by freelancing. Interestingly enough, I struck a tiny vein of gold by securing a client within the first two weeks, and then another a few days later. Now, don’t get me wrong here. The money I’m making on my freelancing gigs hasn’t come close to what I’m making on my current JOB, but each month it’s ten times more than any $100.00 month I’ve made on Medium. Which I only hit two times in three years, by the way.

Okay, enough about the money. I’ve proven to myself I can make money with my writing so why am I writing this now?

Because I miss you guys.

I miss the camaraderie, the humor, the caring, nurturing open-handed, and sometimes humbling wisdom. I miss the quirky comments and opposing perspectives.

I miss you.

Some of you have stayed in contact with me via email during my absence and each time you reach out my heart does a triple Salchow. A lot more of you didn’t and I realize now that’s okay because everyone lives their life and maintains their connections in their own unique way.

I think it’s called being Human.

What I realized in this month of solitary pondering in a Tibetan monastery (my house is a split level and I’m on the top) is that I need more than just being able to make money with my writing.

I need you, folks.

I need to read (I so need to do a better job of that) what you have to tell me and the world. I need to hear from you.

And so, (Cliche Warning) when all is said and done at the end of the day it comes down to people need to interact with people whether it’s face-to-face (Zoom nowadays) or by telephone or email or just like I’m doing right now.

This isn’t so much about me (okay, maybe just a little or a lot. I’ll let you be the judge) as it is about you. It’s “the you” I miss, and that’s why I’m writing to you now.

Sometimes finding your way isn’t always about discovering how much money you can make, but a lot of you already knew that, right? Say it with me folks. P.G.? You ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed are you son?

That’s okay because that’s what friends are for. Everybody needs a friend who’s willing to slap us upside the head and tell us to get over ourselves and pay attention to the important things.

That’s what I love about you and that’s why I’m writing to you now. You’ve no problem doling out a little common sense when you see me losing my shit. In my own little masochistic way, I’ve grown to love it.

Just please put down the whip before you respond okay?

As I said at the beginning, I’m going to tag a ton of you folks. Not necessarily to get my read count up because I’ve long gotten over that, but in hopes that this “message in a bottle” makes its way to you and you actually read it.

So in no particular order here we go. Oh, if I’ve forgotten somebody (old age memory loss sucks), I apologize. Remember to slap some sense in me if you get a moment.

Shannon Ashley, Lon Shapiro, Lindsay Lonai Linegar 🌼, Paul Myers MBA, Linda Caroll, Bebe Nicholson, White Feather, Michael Stang, Sherry McGuinn, Kristi Keller, Helen Cassidy Page, Kat of Magik, Edd Jennings, kurt gasbarra, Brian Emery, Brian Abbey, Karen Fayeth, Elle Rogers, Suzanne V. Tanner, Robin Klammer, Mark Starlin, Bonnie Barton, Joe Váradi, Joe Garza, Joe Luca, Holly Jahangiri, Rasheed Hooda, Zul Bal, Rebecca Romanelli, James Knight, Bill DuBay Jr., J.D. Harms, Amy Marley, Elizabeth Helmich, Julia E Hubbel, Mary Holden, Britni Pepper, Tree Langdon, Tre L. Loadholt, Agnes Louis, Adam, Diabetic Cyborg, Nicole Akers, Robert Nelson, Roy, Mo Solo, Mike Range, Michael Shook, Michelle Monet, Charles Roast, Sharon Hurley Hall, Lucy King, Background Noise Comics, How To Even…, G.Lodhia M. Edu, Roz Warren, Selma, Genius Turner, Ann Litts, Michele Thill, Tracey Folly, Denise Shelton, Kathryn Dillon, JC Cullum, Jeff Suwak, Jeff Hanlon

…and others…

Or if you just want to reach out to me — [email protected] — please do so. I’d love to hear from you.

Paul

© P.G. Barnett, 2020. All Rights Reserved.