Why I’m Still Wearing A Mask

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ing he virus from me. Instead, it’s to protect them from my spit.That’s right, I’m a spitter.And a prolific one at that.<figure id="94e9"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*gmhcr0mvwd9n9WWYGgN1PA.jpeg"><figcaption>Ok. So maybe it’s not that bad, but still…… Such a Voice</figcaption></figure>Almost every time I talk to my children, they remind me to “say it, don’t spray it.”And I try. I do. I don’t want to be a jerk or an asshole or a Typhoid Murray (or whatever the coronavirus equivalent is).It’s nothing personal. I spit on friends, I spit on enemies, I spit on my children. Hell, I’ve got so much excess saliva, that I’ve not only drooled on my dog once or twice, I’ve also accidentally spit at a customer.It’s not a big loogie, though. Nor is it something predictable. I’ll be fine just having an animated conversation when suddenly I’ll look down on a table and see that a few droplets have escaped my mouth or I’ll look up and notice that the person I’ve been talking to is now wiping their glasses.And it’s only gotten worse with masks. Now I don’t even have to feel self conscious

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about it because nobody knows. The spray just comes out and before I know it, my nose and chin are so wet that it’s time to get another mask. On a good day, I might only go through one, but on other days it could be two or three.Don’t think I don’t see you looking at me funny. Yes, I know you think I’m that one in every crowd, that neat-freak, germaphobe, Adrian Monk wanna-be who is afraid of getting infected or infecting others, but I’m not. I’m no virtue-signaling, don’t-touch-me-I’m-better-than-you kind of guy. Yes, of course, I want to stay healthy, get shots and booster and all that stuff.But deep down, I’m just a guy with a saliva problem who wants to protect you from his spit. Which is why you’ll probably never see my face again. Or at least, the lower half of it.So, the next time you see someone wearing a mask you might want to think twice about your reaction. Instead of ranting at them, telling them what a hoax COVID is and what a dupe they are, you just might want to take a minute and thank them for their service in protecting you from their spittle.That’s it. Nothing to see here. Show’s over. You can all go on about your business…..</article></body>

And It’s Not Why You Might Think

Trust me, I’m doing this for your own good. Photo by Gayatri Malhotra on Unsplash

I hate wearing these stupid masks with the white hot passion of 10,000 suns. I can’t breathe. I hate smelling my own breath. Worst of all, I hate how the area under the mask always seems to be damp, as thought I were in some sort of sauna for the lower half of my face. Which is why I’m so thankful for them and don’t plan to give them up any time soon.

Huh?

When the Centers for Disease Control first suggested strapping masks across our faces, it said that it wasn’t so much to protect the wearer from getting COVID as it was to protect the people around them from catching the coronavirus.

That’s especially true in my case now, but the mask isn’t really protecting people from catching he virus from me. Instead, it’s to protect them from my spit.

That’s right, I’m a spitter.

And a prolific one at that.

Ok. So maybe it’s not that bad, but still…… Such a Voice

Almost every time I talk to my children, they remind me to “say it, don’t spray it.”

And I try. I do. I don’t want to be a jerk or an asshole or a Typhoid Murray (or whatever the coronavirus equivalent is).

It’s nothing personal. I spit on friends, I spit on enemies, I spit on my children. Hell, I’ve got so much excess saliva, that I’ve not only drooled on my dog once or twice, I’ve also accidentally spit at a customer.

It’s not a big loogie, though. Nor is it something predictable. I’ll be fine just having an animated conversation when suddenly I’ll look down on a table and see that a few droplets have escaped my mouth or I’ll look up and notice that the person I’ve been talking to is now wiping their glasses.

And it’s only gotten worse with masks. Now I don’t even have to feel self conscious about it because nobody knows. The spray just comes out and before I know it, my nose and chin are so wet that it’s time to get another mask. On a good day, I might only go through one, but on other days it could be two or three.

Don’t think I don’t see you looking at me funny. Yes, I know you think I’m that one in every crowd, that neat-freak, germaphobe, Adrian Monk wanna-be who is afraid of getting infected or infecting others, but I’m not. I’m no virtue-signaling, don’t-touch-me-I’m-better-than-you kind of guy. Yes, of course, I want to stay healthy, get shots and booster and all that stuff.

But deep down, I’m just a guy with a saliva problem who wants to protect you from his spit. Which is why you’ll probably never see my face again. Or at least, the lower half of it.

So, the next time you see someone wearing a mask you might want to think twice about your reaction. Instead of ranting at them, telling them what a hoax COVID is and what a dupe they are, you just might want to take a minute and thank them for their service in protecting you from their spittle.

That’s it. Nothing to see here. Show’s over. You can all go on about your business…..