Why I’m Sick Of The Term “Imposter Syndrome” — Desk Check #3
Now that I know the origin of the term, I’m not interested in carrying it around in my pocket anymore.
In case you didn’t know, the original meaning of the term “Imposter Syndrome” is a little different from the way we all use it now.
Imposter syndrome was originally used to refer mostly to women who could not see a clear view of their own accomplishments.
I think self-doubt might be a more accurate term for what I’ve been experiencing this last week or so, and perhaps a more accurate term for what we all experience on an infrequent basis.
After all, the term “syndrome” refers to something chronic.
Why Do I Feel So Horrible About All My Art All Of The Sudden?
While the philosophy of Stoicism certainly has its cons, there are a few ideologies within it that I’ve found immensely helpful in managing my anxiety and creativity.
The idea I’ll mention here, distilled, is this: By avoiding the major highs and lows in life you create a more regulated pattern of peace within yourself.
Of course, we can’t truly control our emotions and life decides if we have ups and downs, not us. But recently the idea of a more even keel has been appealing to me. I was sailing this way for a few months… and then my ship sprang a leak.
It can be anything. A word of caution, a sentence of accusation, someone looking at you the wrong way, and boom. Day ruined, confidence swept from beneath you. Suddenly you have no idea if your writing is worthwhile or not.
This feeling hurts. It really does. So how do we overcome?
Maybe We Don’t Overcome…
Yoongi from BTS once advised that sometimes the only way out is through. Maybe when we feel discouraged and full of self doubt, we don’t try to take a hot air balloon over. We don’t try to make a tunnel to dig underneath.
Maybe we just have to walk through the dark forest and keep writing anyway. Even if we don’t think it’s worthwhile.
Because the truth we have to hold with us no matter what is that our writing is always worthwhile.
Keep Looking For The Light Through The Trees
I felt bad this week. I felt low about my writing, my career choices, all of it.
But I’ve already made big commitments. I’ve promised people I’ll be here when they need me.
And I couldn’t give up on writing even if I wanted to.
All odds are I won’t feel this way forever, so I’ll keep fighting. There’s a blizzard outside today and that’s just part of life. Tomorrow the sun will be back, the snow will melt, and my draft will read a little smoother.
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See you there! Borahae, much love, 好き, be well!
-Ari