Why I’m Not Skipping the Club for a Date

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Abstract

, I gotta make sure I’m okay, no matter what. The right one will just have to catch me if he can as I’m on the run, enjoying life.</blockquote>My family, friends, and guys in my life know that my events come first, especially with my first love of dancing and music. Those are also often my times to see my friends and social circle, who are my main support system since I live 1400+ miles from any family other than my sons.Most of the time when I have sacrificed and given up something I have wanted to do in favor of an activity someone else wanted me to do, it has not turned out well. This was proven even a few months back when someone I was seeing wanted to spend the weekend doing some activities that were great in and of themselves. But things rather went awry and immediately I was aware that I had lost out on 3 major events and time to commune with friends due to agreeing to these other plans. And it’s not like the person was really honoring my time or recognizing my sacrifice. So yeah, I’m going to stay away from that in the future.It’s hard because time and energy are limited and it’s hard to make dating or a relationship work out with so many other th

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ings on our plate. It also frustrates me, because people will know how I am, often because they meet me online or in a social setting (most likely revolving around music or dancing). But then they will try to pull me away from that little by little. After experiencing that dynamic leading up to my marriage and literally not dancing for 20 years, I can no longer allow myself to succumb to that. Romantic relationships have come and gone over the last few years, but I’m thankful I have generally kept my social foundation intact throughout the changes.Am I off in this way of thinking?! I’d be curious to hear from others to see what you have to say about this topic.Would you skip an event or hangout with others if asked out on a date? Do you think it’s more healthy to be flexible or more healthy to have your boundaries? Self-love or selfishness? How do you navigate such issues like this with everyone being so stretched for time? Any suggestions for me?I look forward to getting some different opinions on this concept, as I think it can apply to many people in the single and dating category. Please provide your thoughts in the comments below.</article></body>

My personal promise to myself….

I’ve come up with a policy for myself after the demise of my first and only marriage, during which I totally lost myself and my identity before I could even fully form it. I have spent close to a decade both figuring out who I am and allowing myself to fully indulge in said self when a restrictive childhood and marital arrangement would not previously allow it.

I wrote about this policy on New Year’s Eve 2022…

One reason I’ve learned to not give up events for dates or men is that often music, dancing, and friends are gonna be there when that person you’re now sacrificing for is long gone. Learned that the hard way when I was married and other times.

Some men have gotten upset by this, but ultimately, I gotta make sure I’m okay, no matter what. The right one will just have to catch me if he can as I’m on the run, enjoying life.

My family, friends, and guys in my life know that my events come first, especially with my first love of dancing and music. Those are also often my times to see my friends and social circle, who are my main support system since I live 1400+ miles from any family other than my sons.

Most of the time when I have sacrificed and given up something I have wanted to do in favor of an activity someone else wanted me to do, it has not turned out well. This was proven even a few months back when someone I was seeing wanted to spend the weekend doing some activities that were great in and of themselves. But things rather went awry and immediately I was aware that I had lost out on 3 major events and time to commune with friends due to agreeing to these other plans. And it’s not like the person was really honoring my time or recognizing my sacrifice. So yeah, I’m going to stay away from that in the future.

It’s hard because time and energy are limited and it’s hard to make dating or a relationship work out with so many other things on our plate. It also frustrates me, because people will know how I am, often because they meet me online or in a social setting (most likely revolving around music or dancing). But then they will try to pull me away from that little by little. After experiencing that dynamic leading up to my marriage and literally not dancing for 20 years, I can no longer allow myself to succumb to that. Romantic relationships have come and gone over the last few years, but I’m thankful I have generally kept my social foundation intact throughout the changes.

Am I off in this way of thinking?! I’d be curious to hear from others to see what you have to say about this topic.

Would you skip an event or hangout with others if asked out on a date? Do you think it’s more healthy to be flexible or more healthy to have your boundaries? Self-love or selfishness? How do you navigate such issues like this with everyone being so stretched for time? Any suggestions for me?

I look forward to getting some different opinions on this concept, as I think it can apply to many people in the single and dating category. Please provide your thoughts in the comments below.