Why I’m In a Dilemma About Going Anonymous As An Aspiring Writer On Medium

Why I’m not using a pseudonym, but not revealing my last name for identity purposes either

So I’ve been thinking about remaining anonymous or not with my Medium profile. When I first signed up, I wasn’t ‘anonymous’. I had my surname in my Medium handle, whereas my display name remained the same. I later changed my handle once I created a Twitter account to promote my work.

Since I first signed up, my display name has always been Ashley. This is my real first name. My surname was just never revealed as part of my display name. My photo remained the same till today as well. I didn’t want to be identifiable or be ‘high-key’ like that. I matched the name and profile photo with my Quora profile for consistency since I started writing first on Quora 2 months ago in August. I’m sort of anonymous there as well. I disconnected my Facebook profile once I wrote my first answer. It also helps that not many of my Facebook friends are on Quora.

However, I had my surname in my original Medium handle when I first signed up, thinking it wouldn’t be as ‘high key’ as the display name. I later changed that to match the username on the new Twitter account I created to promote my work and make some writer friends (which I’ve always thought was really cool to have).

Some of you might have happened to see my previous Medium handle before, as it was just changed sometime last week. The same week I joined Slack with an invitation from Carrie. A. Kelly (she runs 6 amazing publications and wrote about this same issue too!), I instinctively signed up with my real name and surname before I realised. I later changed it to match my Medium handle purely for consistency. It didn’t matter as these are all Medium peeps after all.

On Being Private Online

You see, I’m a very private person. I don’t post much of my life on my social media. I used to, then I got extra careful. Initially, it was because my mom, other relatives (who all migrated from Facebook to Instagram) and an ex-boss (internship) and I connected on my socials. Gradually, I started to and realise over time that I much prefer updating my closest circle of friends (which is like, probably 2–3 even till now) personally via text messages instead. It feels more personal, and catching up with friends about our lives usually ends in a much more intimate conversation.

If they aren’t important enough to me, they don’t need to know what I’m up to anyways.

I’ve never even bothered to create a close friends list on my Instagram after the feature came out. My messaging apps have that for me. I’m used to it. I do occasionally post stuff online if I feel like it though.

Only 2 of my friends in real life know about my writing ventures on Quora and Medium, including my best friend.

Honestly, I think I’m Just Afraid Of Judgement

I don’t know what the people I know in real life would think about me sometimes writing ‘self-improvement advice’ online on platforms like Medium and Quora. Sharing my life experiences to a bunch of strangers online, but not the people I actually know in real life? It felt weird and even wrong. Contradictory. Who am I to give these pieces of advice anyways? What do I, a random college student, know?

It didn’t matter to me what the other readers on Medium or Quora thought of me (of course I do care if people enjoy reading my content). What matters to me are the opinions of people who know me in real life, even though I know I shouldn’t. I am especially a little nervous about what my parents think since they’ve always been critical of my brother and me since we were younger. I’m 21 now.

No one around me reads Medium; not that I know of. But my nervousness comes from people in real life who somehow happen to stumble upon my stories, accompanied with my real name and photo. I didn’t link my writing Twitter account to my personal one for this very reason. I’m just not ready.

What Being Authentic Means To Me

The other side of the conflict lies in authenticity. To me, being a genuine and authentic person, along with expressing that authentically, is really important to me. Going anonymous gives me the freedom to be more vulnerable and expressive in my content sharing. It gives me permission to not self-censor and share real-life stories without any additional worries. It gives me the courage to share the more private sides of me.

Ironically, going anonymous takes the same authenticity away from me. I’m not entirely me. I’m just hiding behind ‘Ashley’, just a part of my name. I’m not showing who I really am, in a sense.

This is my main concern. Admittedly, a little more than the one with regards to judgement. I’m worried that once the people from real-life start reading my blog, I would self censor a lot more and be extra cautious and less authentic as I write.

Am I overthinking this? After all, you have to be careful of what you post on the net…is that advice not around anymore? Perhaps yes, just not in the same way?

Final thoughts

I do have plans to expand writing into a bigger venture, eventually beyond my Medium blog, as I build it one at a time. I understand that remaining anonymous may not be the most advantageous once this unfolds.

I’m still conflicted but have decided to remain at the same level of anonymity for now. Not that many people know me anyway (I’m not famous). I’ll probably not go out of my way to hide it if it ever comes up, yet I’m not actively putting my name and photo out there either. If anyone finds out, sure, perhaps. If not, stay that way. Who knows, I might change my mind in the future. For now, I’m not ready yet, even though I’m a little tempted to change that.

Am I overthinking? What do you guys think about going anonymous and how it links to being authentic and vulnerable in your content writing? Do share your thoughts with me below! I’d love to hear them.