Why I’m 20 and Single and You Should Be Too
Being single is the next big thing in your self-improvement journey
A lot of people hold the notion that happiness is derived from a romantic relationship. At times, connecting the art of living and dating too close to their heart.
People tend to forget about living their own life, soon they start to live a life for 2 people.
Often, we are looked down upon; as if we are unworthy of love. When our friends find a “soulmate” we are abandoned; of course, until the love shatters into one-thousand pieces.
When people find out that I have never dated before, they stare at me; not in the most pleasant manner. Honestly, they think that I am going to be the male version of a cat lady. But really, I am not.
Let me explain myself.
I am a strong believer of god’s timing; that things that are meant for you will come at the correct time in your life.
Just think of it this way, it’s okay to be single; you are not missing the opportunity to become the next Oprah Winfrey. But by being in a relationship you are losing your freedom. The nights out with the girls are going to be less common and about everything you do will need a follow-up.
Don’t get me wrong, I also have my own fantasies of finding Mr Perfect, cuddling as we watch Netflix, cooking together for a hot date, going in the bathtub together and burst bubbles.
I want all of that but with the right person.
Being single has taught me some lessons as well as benefits. Hence, I will be sharing with you the top 3 things that I enjoy being single that have helped me the most. Of course, all backed by science.
- Single people exercise more
According to the Journal of Marriage and Family, people that are single have a higher exercise rate. For example, “Married adults spend less time on exercising than unmarried adults.” This comes down to different factors such as work, chores, and family time.
When you are single, you don’t have to be giving a large portion of your time to maintain a relationship. Instead, that support that you give returns back to you.
During my Freshman year of college, I labelled this time of being single as my self-development area. We often spend time for others, then I thought it was a good idea to focus on myself for an entire year.
I was able to build exercise habits of 30 minutes a day, healthy eating habits, and mindfulness; which was founded through reading Atomic Habits.
The person that I became now, is the person that I wished to become. All of my thoughts were going towards wanting a boyfriend, always being on the lookout were drawing me away from my goals.
2. You learn who you truly are, it becomes a moment of nurturing yourself.
Being alone for a few years got me to know myself to the core.
I was able to learn who I am, what I liked, what I wanted, and how I planned to get there. I learned what irritated me and what made me happy, I was able to heal as a person.
On an article in Science Daily, it was noted that single people have greater psychological development than those that are single.
This is important when dating, you want to enter a relationship healed so that you offer your best. I find that the root of the problems starts there when two unhealed souls meet.
I know that you have experienced this form of improvement during the quarantine. Now, compare yourself with who you were in the past. What changes do you notice?
For once, I feel calmer and more precise. It is a moment of rebuilding and wellness, a moment of nurturing your true spirit.
3. You become self-sufficient
How many times did you not attend a place because your partner did not want to attend? How many opportunities and experiences did you lose because someone was not there for you?
The first thing that I learned being single is that I am my first supporter.
According to an article in Psychology Today, men and women that are single are doing just fine. Through the research, it was found that single people experienced more self-sufficiency than those belonging to married groups; avoiding less negative emotions.
I will go to that party if no one else wants to go, I will watch that movie if my friend does not want to go, I will go eat that breakfast by myself if no one is available.
I learned to do things by myself and that opened so many lessons and positive experiences for me. I became more sociable, more supportive, and acquired a new breath of pure freedom.
By the way, one of the best things is shopping for yourself. Oh, you can go anywhere and touch anything without anyone rushing you.
I am not intending to sound selfish but once you are comfortable being single, it becomes the next big thing.
To conclude, these are my experiences; other’s have a harder time handling being single. Hopefully, through my experience you can be informed that being single is not a time of missing out; but a time of self-improvement and fulfilment.
Let me know in the comments if you are in the same situation as me or whether you disagree and why. I would love to see other people’s interpretation of love.
Love is definitely a complicated thing.