Why I Would Not Write A Letter To My Younger Self
I often read articles where the author imagines what advice he would give his younger self if he could send a letter to the past. I thought about it and wondered what I would write. After much thought, I concluded that I would not write anything to my younger self.
It seems tempting: If I could use my present knowledge to make decisions that I made in my youth, I would make better decisions. If there were a way to come to terms with my former self, I could spare him many mistakes and wrong turns. Consequently, my life today would be better than what I have now — at least in theory.
We all know these mind-plays in which we imagine what we could have achieved if we had had more experience and knowledge in the past. For example, we believe that we would have started a business in the past and would be rich today if we had done everything right back then.
Or we imagine that if we could explain to our former selves that it would be better to party less and learn more, we would have a better job and more money today.
The big mistake in thinking
What we always forget in such fantasies is the complexity of the world and life. Sure, it could be that we would be a wealthy entrepreneur today if we had learned to program and started a company at the beginning of the Internet boom. But for that to work, the timeline would have to be one-dimensional.
We cannot say whether a decision A over time would have led to a particular result B. In any case, we cannot say that a decision would have led exclusively to outcome B. Every decision we make changes not only one timeline but infinitely many.
Our decision to start a company would inevitably have affected every other aspect of our lives. We would have met different people, visited other places, and developed other thoughts. We probably would not have met our current partners, nor would we have met some essential friends.
The danger of the unknown outcome
Maybe we would have been wealthy entrepreneurs or great sports stars. But we would also be completely different people.
If I had started too early to make all my decisions based on secure knowledge and reason, I would be a person today with whom my present self could not relate.
My personality today and my life situation are the direct results of all my good and bad decisions in the past. The treasure of my memories contains defeats, moments of happiness, and wonderful craziness.
What influence would it have had on my core personality if I had not done some of these crazy things in the past? The point is that I cannot know. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know now.
If you could really change your past, it would mean erasing the person you know as you. The moment you would send the letter to your younger self, you would disappear, and a stranger would take your place.
Most, if not all, of your memories, would disappear and be replaced by new ones. All the thoughts you have thought of since your younger self received the letter would be different from those you now remember.
Your partner, your children, your pets, and your home would be replaced by something else, and you cannot possibly know if you would be happier with that than you are now.
Sending a letter to your younger self would have the same effect as having your consciousness erased and replaced by a new one.
Suddenly the idea of sending a letter to the past is no longer exciting but horrifying.
What we should do instead
The past can hold us back, like a swamp we try to wade through. Whenever we look back into the past and wish it were different, we give away the energy that we need right now to build our future.
It is useless to wish that we had the knowledge of today in the past. But valuing and using that knowledge is priceless.
To change our lives for the better, we don’t need to change our past, but what we do here and now.
Instead of thinking about what I would write to my younger self, I think about how my knowledge and experience can help me today. That’s all we can do, but if we do it, anything is possible.
René Junge a published author writing on ILLUMINATION.
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