Why I Won’t Be Able to Write for “Real Insights”

An unfortunate turn of events

When Maryan told me she was launching a new publication, I first congratulated her, then secretly and selfishly celebrated. Finally! An editor who might accept my stories full of lies and misleading statements.

“The publication will be about insights, Smillew. You’ve got a lot of these, don’t you?”

“Fake insights?” I replied, hopeful.

“NO. Real Insights.”

“Ah. That’s going to be a problem. I’m a certified liar, and if I want to keep my certification, I’m contractually obliged to include at least 84% fake insights in all my articles. Believe me, Maryan, I tried to find a workaround, but the lawyers who wrote the contract attended the Fefer & Bellerjeau Higher School of Extraordinary Law. The contract is tighter than a goat’s [redacted]. It’s even tighter than a Swiss bank’s safe.”

Maryan looked at me kindly. She saw a child needing comforting reassurance.

“Sorry, Smillew, you’re a wonderful liar, but that won’t work for my new publication.”

I understood, of course, but it was still a disappointment. I almost chose to forget about this mishap.

Almost.

“Smillew! You’re a Medium writer,” said a little voice in my head, “never pass on an opportunity to make $2.33 by writing about yourself and your (mis)adventures.”

It made a lot of sense. So much so that I wrote down the idea and printed it on a special paper that now hangs on the wall next to my writing desk.

I wish I could show you my workspace, but I have a problem with my phone’s camera and can’t take a picture, so I’ll share it below and use the same special formatting I chose for the printed version.

The idea-generation process of a creative writer is about acknowledging the unremarkable events of our daily lives and turning them into something special.

And that’s a clear, visible, value-added takeaway for the reader — as requested by Maryan’s submission guidelines:

And even though I won’t be able to write for “Real Insights,” I recommend you try. In today’s world, we need insightful articles more than ever.

Alternative option to find insightful articles: my Top Hat Seminar on Substack.