Writing

Why I Will Never Tell My Friends I Am Writing

I keep it a secret to keep my authenticity.

Writing is self-realization for me. I love the fact that people read what I write.

Also, I love my friends. With them, I can talk about things that interest me. But the truth is, I don’t want my friends to read what I write.

Telling everyone what you are doing — In my opinion, this is a mistake that many writers make.

They tell those around them about their new hobby — and limit themselves.

Here’s why I keep the fact that I write a secret.

Secret readers mess up your text

I doubt that my friends would read all of my content. Hardly anyone has the time for it.

Secret readers are much more about a problem in our heads, not about actual readers. I came across this idea in a book about writing.

When I write, there is no fixed “me.” What I type depends on my mood, my energy, and my thoughts.

A secret reader is an image that a particular person will read my text. If you know that your mother will read your text, you will hardly speak badly about your childhood.

No, I don’t want you to write badly about other people from now on. But often, we are afraid of the reaction of a person to what we write.

In my texts, I often mention my friends. Mostly in a positive way, of course, I do not call anyone by name. But when I write, I don’t want to be under the pressure that one of my friends could read it.

Sometimes I imagine that no one will read my text. That’s quite relieving — I’m so much more honest. That’s precisely the point. That’s precisely why I manage to write even very intimate articles.

A secret reader can set qualitative expectations for your writing.

I am known to my friends as a great speaker. I talk a lot in long sentences and use many unusual words. But that’s not how I write.

How I write is not how I speak. I don’t want to be under pressure to write the way I speak.

Stop asking yourself for justification

Do you know why I’m writing this? Because there is a chance that people will read it — that is a success for me.

Why should I do things that don’t bring me success? Why am I even asking myself this? If I weren’t writing this right now, I’d be playing video games or something. I’d instead be writing.

To be honest, I’m afraid of what others think. That is the reason why I ask myself for permission in the first place.

The dangerous thing is that you don’t recognize the real fear. I have already internalized the definition of “success” incorrectly — based on what other people might consider a success.

That’s precisely why I don’t tell anyone that I’m writing. That way, I don’t have to worry about what they might think.

I don’t want anyone to ask me if I’m reaching people with my writing. I don’t want anyone to ask me if I’m making money with it. I don’t want anyone to ask me if I’m even qualified to do this.

We only do the things we think others will accept.

I want to write what I want — without having to ask myself for permission first.

Keep writing an end in itself

We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.

You might know this quote, and it is the truth.

Of course, none of us would want to admit that. But the unconscious plays a significant role in our behavior.

We are social beings, and almost everything we do has such a purpose.

In gym class, I usually didn’t care about getting a good grade. I was trying hard to look fit and ambitious.

Even in writing, we may miss the point — to influence what others think about us.

• Writing extra complicated or on complex topics.
• Writing a lot & publish a lot to look incredibly productive.
• Only using personal examples in which we look like heroes.
• Only writing on topics where others know we are an expert.