Why I Went No-Contact With My Narcissistic Father

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Abstract

to that has gone no-contact has experienced more relief than they expected.I didn’t know it was called “no-contact” when I stopped talking to my dad (I was only 16), I just knew that he would ruin me for his own gain in the end and it was pure self-preservation to cut myself off from him.Over the past decade, I have gone in and out of contact with my dad. Every time I got back in contact, it wouldn’t take long for him to significantly breach my boundaries so I would cut off the relationship again.As of the time I write this, I haven’t talked to him for several years.I believe going no-contact was a necessity for me and my healing journey. I needed space (apparently over a decade of it) to heal from the narcissistic trauma I experienced with him.Ultimately, healing is about learning how to become okay in relationships again. It’s not about cutting off everyone so much that you totally isolate

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yourself.But I had to go no-contact with the relationships I wasn’t safe in so I could make room for other relationships that I could feel safe in — that I could start dipping my toes in the water of vulnerability. Relationships that could disconfirm all the damage my relationship with my dad caused me.I don’t know if my healing is ever going to take me to a place where I have contact with my father again, but what I do know is that I have the best relationships I have ever had. I’ve never felt so supported and loved, and all of that was made possible because I made room for it in my life by going no-contact in the relationship that was hurting me the most.PS I am a trauma-informed coach who specializes in helping survivors of narcissistic abuse and I have a 1–1 coaching spot available. Schedule a free consultation with me by <a href="https://calendly.com/jordin-james/chemistry">clicking here</a>.</article></body>

I had to go no-contact with the narcissistic energy in my life so I could have some space to actually heal.

I’m not sure if everyone has to go no-contact. I’m guessing the answer to that is “no,” because no one thing is absolute. But I am sure that it helps.

It helps so much. Everyone I’ve ever talked to that has gone no-contact has experienced more relief than they expected.

I didn’t know it was called “no-contact” when I stopped talking to my dad (I was only 16), I just knew that he would ruin me for his own gain in the end and it was pure self-preservation to cut myself off from him.

Over the past decade, I have gone in and out of contact with my dad. Every time I got back in contact, it wouldn’t take long for him to significantly breach my boundaries so I would cut off the relationship again.

As of the time I write this, I haven’t talked to him for several years.

I believe going no-contact was a necessity for me and my healing journey. I needed space (apparently over a decade of it) to heal from the narcissistic trauma I experienced with him.

Ultimately, healing is about learning how to become okay in relationships again. It’s not about cutting off everyone so much that you totally isolate yourself.

But I had to go no-contact with the relationships I wasn’t safe in so I could make room for other relationships that I could feel safe in — that I could start dipping my toes in the water of vulnerability. Relationships that could disconfirm all the damage my relationship with my dad caused me.

I don’t know if my healing is ever going to take me to a place where I have contact with my father again, but what I do know is that I have the best relationships I have ever had. I’ve never felt so supported and loved, and all of that was made possible because I made room for it in my life by going no-contact in the relationship that was hurting me the most.

PS I am a trauma-informed coach who specializes in helping survivors of narcissistic abuse and I have a 1–1 coaching spot available. Schedule a free consultation with me by clicking here.