Why I Stopped Writing
And what I’m doing about it
If someone says that life is easy, they are lying. Success, happiness, growth — all of it comes in fleeting moments that stop by and pass away it seems, just before I can figure out how to replicate them.
I guess that is the point though. Is it fair for everyone? No.
Not just no, hell no.
So many people, including myself, write about not caring about stats and focusing on the process of writing itself. The thing is, as much as I type those words, they don’t become reality until I change something outside of my own bubble of perception.
So I had relative success with one article before I joined the Partner Program, Used Books Make the World Go ‘Round; in any case, this was significantly more than my other articles.
I joined the Partner Program and then started making my stories eligible to earn money, but saw nowhere near what I thought I should get. I am still gaining 1–2 followers a day, but as the overall community understands, followers do not equal readers.
It really sucks, though, when you write something that means a lot to you, wanting to share something with the world, something almost spiritual to yourself, and one person reads it.
Don’t get me wrong, many thanks to the one person who clicked and actually read. But I think I speak for a great many people when I say that it can be a bit demotivating.
Over the past couple of weeks that I’ve stopped, I have been on edge. Angry, and even a little bit sad, like I don’t know how to deal with my feelings in the moment anymore.
Maybe it has to do with school ending in almost two weeks and the kids are losing their minds; maybe not — but despite the idea that correlation is not causation, I need to be true to myself.
I am hoping anyone who feels the same way decides to do the same. Read this article or don’t, but just respect yourself and do what you need to do.
Self-Challenge(s): 1) Make myself accountable for what I am writing and more importantly when. 2) I do not want to find myself looking at stats or anything other than people who are engaging with my stories. 3) I will write at least one paragraph of something that I am proud of every day.