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so too your frequency. Most of our negative emotions flow in response to negative thoughts. Negative thoughts equal negative frequency, positive thoughts positive frequency.Unfortunately, it’s very easy to take away the wrong message: I shouldn’t have negative thoughts or emotions. The outcome is to embrace an always-positive approach to life, which judges even the slightest dip in frequency as a sign that you’re allowing negativity into your life and somehow you’re going to “manifest” all of the experiences you fear and none of your desires.In turn, you’re much more likely to engage in repression. All negative thoughts and emotions get pushed aside as the sign of some kind of spiritual failure. Any momentary experience of fear, anger or sadness becomes some kind of alert system that you’re falling behind in your spiritual development.While it’s true that your thoughts and emotions shape your perception of life, it doesn’t follow that you can’t or shouldn’t experience negativity of any kind. That’s actually what happens when you decide that you want to heal, for real. In my own experience, the only way to deal with all the suppressed pain and trauma I’ve carried around in me, from this lifetime and from prior lifetimes (if you believe in them) is by having the unresolved emotions come to the surface, to be met with compassion, not repression.So how do you distinguish between, on the one hand, wallowing in negativity and following your old patterns and, on the other, being with your emotions and healing? The answer lies in your intention and relationship to the emotional energy coming up. If you feel sad or angry and you decide to act out on it, you’re not healing; you’re deepening the wound. If you feel sad or angry, and you judge yourself for falling into negativity, then your relationship is one of judgment; that’s actually a lower vibrational state. Instead, be with your emotions as you would a small child or a friend, with loving compassion. Move through them and ask what lesson they have to share with you. It’s your relationship to what is occurring in life that is the true measure of your frequency.<h1 id="38c7">2. Vibrational Frequency Often Leads to Judgment</h1>The second major pitfall of the focus on frequency is that you are easily led to judge other people. It’s an obvious blindspot of the always positive psychology that you could actually see other people as negative, but that’s what happens. You may find that being around other people is really hard — they’re draining or toxic or, you guessed it, not vibrating at the same frequency.If you find yourself saying, “I don’t want to be around those people — I want to be around people of my own frequency” or “I raised my vibration and was at a higher frequency and just didn’t fit in with them anymore,” you might want to pause and check yourself. When you use “frequency” as a way to distance yourself from other people, you’re simply judging them so as not confront your own prejudices or discomfort. If a friend, family member or coworker triggers you in some way, resist the temptation to label them “toxic” or “low vibe” and examine that pain. Sometimes, yes, friends and family can be scared of your success, unsure of your changes, etc., but it’s ultimately your ability to stay present and connected that’s at issue. In those situations, you, as a spiritual seeker, are just avoiding discomfort and falling into the trap of the ego’s most fundamental binary, pain vs. pleasure.And of course there are people with whom you’re going to connect more easily, with whom you have shared interests, where you’ve developed a deeper connection. I don’t mean to suggest you have the same level of intimacy with everybody. This is particularly true if you’re on a spiritual path, since many people won’t understand what you’re going through. Likewise, there are situations where you are confronting someone who is truly toxic — whose negativity is so pervasive that they aren’t making any effort to confront their own limiting beliefs and emotional traumas, and thus go around spilling the poison onto everybody else. You may need to leave abusive people, and learning to let go can be an important part of drawing boundaries and healin

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g yourself.But you shouldn’t use “frequency” to justify judging people that you simply don’t like or don’t want to be around or who annoy you. Those reactions are what you need to explore. When you feel triggered or something “lowers” your vibe, that’s on you. That’s your own psyche and your own connection to the Divine. No one “lowers” your vibe. Your perception and reaction to another person is what does that.Instead of seeing this person as toxic or low-vibe, turn inward and examine what’s going on. Yes, you might feel sad, angry, hurt or even depressed for a while. But you might uncover a deep-seated belief, something about the way you look at the world, even something fixed in your psyche at an early age due to another event. That’s how healing happens.<h1 id="5a21">3. Vibrational Frequency Leads to a New Identity</h1>The third pitfall is that focusing on frequency can often lead you to form a new identity around being “high vibe.” Raising your frequency higher and higher is often interpreted to mean that you’re awakening and ascending, becoming more aligned with God or Spirit than you were before. Having healing breakthroughs, experiencing energy and light, dissolving old patterns, and enjoying sudden insights into your own mind — these are all wonderful experiences and should be applauded and met with grace and appreciation. It means you’re actually doing the hard work of diving into your past. That’s the work of healing.But there’s a trap. You can start to fall into a false sense of “progress” on your spiritual path, as if it were a kind of linear trajectory, always rising to a higher vibrational frequency. After some deep healing experience, you believe that you’ve reached a certain height. And you become attached to it. It’s important to you that you stay at this vibe; your frequency starts to have a deeper meaning for you — an identity. You start to develop a new sense of self around this: You are a “high vibe” person.By having this “high vibe” identity, you tend to police its boundaries, making sure you don’t come in contact with people who might bring you down. Or you post about how “high vibe” you are, making sure others know this about you. It becomes a badge to be worn and polished and shown off.Then, at a moment where you feel they’ve reached a certain point, something sets you off — a triggering event with another person, usually — and you see this as a sign of backsliding, of failure, oh no, your frequency is falling! (See point 1.) And the way out is often, again, to blame the other person for dragging you down or to berate yourself as if you were somehow committing some grave sin. (See point 2.) You feel this loss, a sense of failure, around having your frequency somehow seem “lower” than it was before. As a result, you’re no longer relating to the present moment with love and compassion.The solution is to be vigilant and watch for how you feel a sense of attachment, hunger, any kind of gripping to the sense that you are a person of a certain frequency. If you notice that you see your spiritual progress as a sign that you are a better person, somehow superior to those not on a spiritual path, that’s a major red flag. Just watch for that ego side to rise up and measure your frequency as a sign of belonging to some special group, where you’re a member and others are not. That’s a clear sign that you’re developing an attachment and need to let it go.I’ve seen these patterns many times in those on a spiritual path, myself included. At a certain point, I just stopped focusing on my frequency, and asked myself instead how I was relating to the present moment. Was I in a state of acceptance, equanimity and love (even while feeling a lot of sadness or anger), or was I approaching it with resistance? The truth is that you are a complex being with many layers of mental and emotional patterns, so depending on what’s coming up for resolution, your frequency is not static or fixed or on an upward trajectory. You fluctuate a lot, particularly if you’re regularly diving in to see what’s hiding beneath the spiritually slick surface. Just be with the present moment. It’s the perfect teacher for you just as it is.</article></body>

Why I Stopped Fretting about My Spiritual “Frequency”

You might just be judging yourself and others.

If you understand this article’s title, you’re a spiritual seeker like me. We come in many forms. You might practice yoga and meditation, or chant mantra and sing kirtan. You might experiment with plant medicine and energy healing, or turn to tarot and astrology for guidance. You’re probably familiar with Abraham-Hicks and the Law of Attraction, and you routinely repost spiritual memes or hang out in private Facebook groups for empaths, lightworkers, intuitives, and healers. In the midst of it all, you may find yourself talking and thinking a lot about vibrational frequency.

The basic idea of vibrational frequency is that we are not solid matter but energy, and all energy vibrates at a particular frequency. Your particular frequency shapes your life because you can only experience energy of the same frequency. So whatever is happening in your life, which is also energy with its own frequency, must be vibrating at the same frequency as you. If your life is fabulous, it’s because your frequency is fabulous. If your life is in the doldrums, so too is your frequency.

I don’t have any quibble with the basic premise. I am a conscious channel who experienced an incredible kundalini awakening, spent six months having my chakras rewired, and downloaded three full volumes of spiritual material, so I am definitely someone comfortable in the land of the woo-woo. I’ve done ayahuasca, silent meditation retreats, and a shamanic vision quest. I’ve received darshan dozens of times, in the forms of hugs or third-eye openings, from Divine Mothers. In short, I’m not coming at this from the realm of the logical cynic who says all of this is just a bunch of baloney.

Nevertheless, in my experience, the concept gets easily co-opted by the ego, and in the process, its true value gets lost. The real teaching of vibrational frequency is that you are in perfect alignment with everything that’s happening outside of you, and therefore you must look inward to understand — and, more commonly, change — what’s happening. The external is really an expression of the internal. The Universe (or Source) puts before you, in the form of people, events, etc., everything you need to understand what’s going on inside of you (your beliefs, in particular).

What matters is how you relate to what is transpiring. Are you in a state of resistance or acceptance? Do you find yourself in balance or triggered? Most of the time we attempt to address the world by forcing it to change, but we don’t end up working on our internal mindset. Instead of trying to force the world around you to accommodate you, what if you focused inward on your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions and worked to alter how you perceive and relate to the outside world? When you do that, the world outside of you also shifts — in new alignment with your frequency.

Unfortunately, that basic premise often gets lost if you, as a spiritual seeker, attempt to make vibrational frequency an instrument of spiritual progress. If you focus on whether you think you are vibrating a high frequency, you’re already missing the point. You will fall prey to constantly measuring your spiritual progress by some arbitrary standard of positivity and skip the deeper work that understanding vibrational frequency allows you to do.

Here are the three most common pitfalls I have seen.

1. You Avoid Feeling Pain and Seek a Higher Frequency

If you’re trying to measure your frequency, you’re probably looking to how you feel and whether things are going well in your life. If you feel good, your frequency must be high; if you feel low, so too your frequency. Most of our negative emotions flow in response to negative thoughts. Negative thoughts equal negative frequency, positive thoughts positive frequency.

Unfortunately, it’s very easy to take away the wrong message: I shouldn’t have negative thoughts or emotions. The outcome is to embrace an always-positive approach to life, which judges even the slightest dip in frequency as a sign that you’re allowing negativity into your life and somehow you’re going to “manifest” all of the experiences you fear and none of your desires.

In turn, you’re much more likely to engage in repression. All negative thoughts and emotions get pushed aside as the sign of some kind of spiritual failure. Any momentary experience of fear, anger or sadness becomes some kind of alert system that you’re falling behind in your spiritual development.

While it’s true that your thoughts and emotions shape your perception of life, it doesn’t follow that you can’t or shouldn’t experience negativity of any kind. That’s actually what happens when you decide that you want to heal, for real. In my own experience, the only way to deal with all the suppressed pain and trauma I’ve carried around in me, from this lifetime and from prior lifetimes (if you believe in them) is by having the unresolved emotions come to the surface, to be met with compassion, not repression.

So how do you distinguish between, on the one hand, wallowing in negativity and following your old patterns and, on the other, being with your emotions and healing? The answer lies in your intention and relationship to the emotional energy coming up. If you feel sad or angry and you decide to act out on it, you’re not healing; you’re deepening the wound. If you feel sad or angry, and you judge yourself for falling into negativity, then your relationship is one of judgment; that’s actually a lower vibrational state. Instead, be with your emotions as you would a small child or a friend, with loving compassion. Move through them and ask what lesson they have to share with you. It’s your relationship to what is occurring in life that is the true measure of your frequency.

2. Vibrational Frequency Often Leads to Judgment

The second major pitfall of the focus on frequency is that you are easily led to judge other people. It’s an obvious blindspot of the always positive psychology that you could actually see other people as negative, but that’s what happens. You may find that being around other people is really hard — they’re draining or toxic or, you guessed it, not vibrating at the same frequency.

If you find yourself saying, “I don’t want to be around those people — I want to be around people of my own frequency” or “I raised my vibration and was at a higher frequency and just didn’t fit in with them anymore,” you might want to pause and check yourself. When you use “frequency” as a way to distance yourself from other people, you’re simply judging them so as not confront your own prejudices or discomfort. If a friend, family member or coworker triggers you in some way, resist the temptation to label them “toxic” or “low vibe” and examine that pain. Sometimes, yes, friends and family can be scared of your success, unsure of your changes, etc., but it’s ultimately your ability to stay present and connected that’s at issue. In those situations, you, as a spiritual seeker, are just avoiding discomfort and falling into the trap of the ego’s most fundamental binary, pain vs. pleasure.

And of course there are people with whom you’re going to connect more easily, with whom you have shared interests, where you’ve developed a deeper connection. I don’t mean to suggest you have the same level of intimacy with everybody. This is particularly true if you’re on a spiritual path, since many people won’t understand what you’re going through. Likewise, there are situations where you are confronting someone who is truly toxic — whose negativity is so pervasive that they aren’t making any effort to confront their own limiting beliefs and emotional traumas, and thus go around spilling the poison onto everybody else. You may need to leave abusive people, and learning to let go can be an important part of drawing boundaries and healing yourself.

But you shouldn’t use “frequency” to justify judging people that you simply don’t like or don’t want to be around or who annoy you. Those reactions are what you need to explore. When you feel triggered or something “lowers” your vibe, that’s on you. That’s your own psyche and your own connection to the Divine. No one “lowers” your vibe. Your perception and reaction to another person is what does that.

Instead of seeing this person as toxic or low-vibe, turn inward and examine what’s going on. Yes, you might feel sad, angry, hurt or even depressed for a while. But you might uncover a deep-seated belief, something about the way you look at the world, even something fixed in your psyche at an early age due to another event. That’s how healing happens.

3. Vibrational Frequency Leads to a New Identity

The third pitfall is that focusing on frequency can often lead you to form a new identity around being “high vibe.” Raising your frequency higher and higher is often interpreted to mean that you’re awakening and ascending, becoming more aligned with God or Spirit than you were before. Having healing breakthroughs, experiencing energy and light, dissolving old patterns, and enjoying sudden insights into your own mind — these are all wonderful experiences and should be applauded and met with grace and appreciation. It means you’re actually doing the hard work of diving into your past. That’s the work of healing.

But there’s a trap. You can start to fall into a false sense of “progress” on your spiritual path, as if it were a kind of linear trajectory, always rising to a higher vibrational frequency. After some deep healing experience, you believe that you’ve reached a certain height. And you become attached to it. It’s important to you that you stay at this vibe; your frequency starts to have a deeper meaning for you — an identity. You start to develop a new sense of self around this: You are a “high vibe” person.

By having this “high vibe” identity, you tend to police its boundaries, making sure you don’t come in contact with people who might bring you down. Or you post about how “high vibe” you are, making sure others know this about you. It becomes a badge to be worn and polished and shown off.

Then, at a moment where you feel they’ve reached a certain point, something sets you off — a triggering event with another person, usually — and you see this as a sign of backsliding, of failure, oh no, your frequency is falling! (See point 1.) And the way out is often, again, to blame the other person for dragging you down or to berate yourself as if you were somehow committing some grave sin. (See point 2.) You feel this loss, a sense of failure, around having your frequency somehow seem “lower” than it was before. As a result, you’re no longer relating to the present moment with love and compassion.

The solution is to be vigilant and watch for how you feel a sense of attachment, hunger, any kind of gripping to the sense that you are a person of a certain frequency. If you notice that you see your spiritual progress as a sign that you are a better person, somehow superior to those not on a spiritual path, that’s a major red flag. Just watch for that ego side to rise up and measure your frequency as a sign of belonging to some special group, where you’re a member and others are not. That’s a clear sign that you’re developing an attachment and need to let it go.

I’ve seen these patterns many times in those on a spiritual path, myself included. At a certain point, I just stopped focusing on my frequency, and asked myself instead how I was relating to the present moment. Was I in a state of acceptance, equanimity and love (even while feeling a lot of sadness or anger), or was I approaching it with resistance? The truth is that you are a complex being with many layers of mental and emotional patterns, so depending on what’s coming up for resolution, your frequency is not static or fixed or on an upward trajectory. You fluctuate a lot, particularly if you’re regularly diving in to see what’s hiding beneath the spiritually slick surface. Just be with the present moment. It’s the perfect teacher for you just as it is.