Why I Play Poker in the Workplace
Short answer: Because dealing with people is never easy.
There are many reasons for playing pretend in the office.
In fact, too many.
I can think of the following without getting into the thinking mode.
- We want to avoid kicking the emotional hornet’s nests during performance appraisal.
- We put up our best show because we were desperate for the deal in front of us.
- Or, very simply, we [just] want to work in peace.
Sounds familiar?
Yeah, I bet.
Almost everyone I know thinks the same.
Why create an unnecessary rumpus?
It can backfire.
The Pretension Premium
If you believe that not everyone can be a sales guy or gal…
Then, I say not everyone is a foreign minister material.
Some people are too straightforward. They shoot. They offend unknowingly.
Others are quiet. They keep words in their mouths. Their hidden ideas never stand a chance in a group discussion.
Side note.
The one with the most ideas… does not always offer the best ideas. I believe so. But I know many colleagues of mine feel so. Why? Easy. They say it. The quiet, humble ones? They speak to themselves.
You see.
We have different personalities.
Some of us are true to ourselves and to others. These admirable folks are rare. They make dependable allies in the workplace. You know they got your back. I love them.
Many others put up an act. They aim to cruise through the workday unscathed. I don’t blame them.
But do I trust them during tough times?
Do I go to them when we have to burn the midnight oil to deliver a project?
No, I don’t.
I choose my allies carefully.
I Teeter Along the Line of Pretense When I Meet Clients
Acting is tiring.
I say this because I am in a client-facing role. I get lied to 90% of the time. So, I put my mask on.
Client A: I have no budget for your software this year. Let’s adjourn our discussion to next year? Can you offer me a free demo platform to tide through?
Tell me you know this A-hole is lying.
It is obvious.
Clients lie all the time. To be clear, I am not being cynical. I am being honest with myself.
Here’s why.
They tell you they no longer have any budget to buy your software or consulting services. But what do they do immediately after sending you off?
- They call their distributors to stock up on inventory.
- They buy advertising space.
- They hire someone.
Clients have the money. They do. They are just not spending on me. Or you.
I used to tell them that I would be around if they needed me. Used to. These days, no longer.
There is no need to cling to this Client A tree. I move.
There are many good clients out there in the forest.
I told Client A we could discuss this in detail when he is ready. Of course. Never ever, never ever, never ever show him (or her) that you are desperate and willing.
You will be,
- Treated like a monkey and be paid peanuts (if you are paid),
- Giving out endless freebies,
- At their beck and call.
Bad idea.
Part ways.
Be honest with yourself.
There is zero chance of you doing good work with this joker. You are wasting everybody’s time if you press on.
I Don’t Destroy Bad Ideas. I Don’t Give Tacit Approval, Either.
I remember an executive meeting I had months and months ago.
Then, the Regional Marketing Director tabled the urgent need to get impressions, viewers, and traffic for the company’s website. Of course, it did not end there. He requested an additional budget for social media targeting and Google Ads.
Like… an additional $300,000 on top of his secured budget for the year.
Naturally, it raised eyebrows. Would it work? We don’t know. But the Regional Marketing Director thought it would.
I could tell he was ready to destroy any opposition if there was one.
Unfortunately for him, there was no battle. No one wanted to pick a fight with a passionate marketer.
Soon, it became a quick back-and-forth between me and him.
I had my poker face on. And I carried myself in a frosty cold manner.
Read on. You can see why.
Him: “So? Shall we proceed? We need these!”
Me: “No one is saying anything in agreement. So, no. Proposition not passed.”
Him: “That is JUST you talking, Aldric. No one else said a thing. This is important for the company!”
Me: “Anyone want to push the endorsement button? We will have to direct funds from your department to back a collective marketing cause… by the way.”
Colleague A: “No.”
Colleague B: “Nope.”
Colleague C: “Not interested.”
Him: “You air-heads! Why are you goons…”
Me: “Next agenda, please.”
This guy confronted me after the meeting.
He thought I was rallying everyone else against him. Quite literally, he was close to grabbing my collar.
I just told him that he needs to demonstrate tangible results.
No one wants to spend their money on his projects without returns. Why would they? It is dumb.
He left in a huff. And a middle finger pointing to the ceiling.
I shrug my shoulders. Right. It got personal (for him).
Eventually, he managed to secure a smaller budget from the CEO. He dropped by my desk to show his winnings. Houseflies will be houseflies.
And months later, he was summoned and questioned by the Board.
The same topic arose. Big spending. No results.
He was asked to leave.
This time, I said nothing.
Because I said my piece during the initial meeting.
- Demonstrate good results today.
- Ask for a big budget tomorrow.
End of story.
What’s there to bicker?
We go nowhere.
The Close
I am a selfish guy.
I enjoy being me.
And I am comfortable under my own skin.
The world is complex and is filled with people from all walks of life. You can never tell what they will do to achieve their goals. Or to knock off on time.
Let them do what they need.
It doesn’t bother me. I have my goals to achieve.
And to that end, I think honesty with myself is the way to go.
Yes. Sometimes, I have my Poker Face on because I want to wriggle away from circumstances I do not appreciate. Sometimes.
But as and when I can, I will be me.
I feel happier at work that way.
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