Why I Kicked My Boarder Out

The first step in decluttering

Well, let’s be upfront here. I told him on the 27th of September he would have to be out by the 10th of November. That’s over 6 weeks’ notice. I offered two weeks free for the inconvenience of having to find a new place. He has been living at my house for over two years so was just starting to get comfortable. What am I talking about? He was comfortable from the moment he moved in.

He took over the shared living spaces.

I was confined to my bedroom for much of the afternoon/evening. The worst times were when he was unemployed. He would watch Netflix or YouTube clips of Dimash in the lounge room all day. It was my fault because I allowed him.

When he wasn’t sitting in one of the two recliners, he was sitting in my reading chair with his feet up or sitting on one of the outdoor chairs with his feet up on the chair I always sat on. Okay.

But that’s not the part that drove me crazy. He never put the chairs back in when he had finished sitting so my chair was always at a weird angle in front of his chair. When I came home from the hospital, I had to have the two large cushions on my chair so I could get up and down. He would take them and assume his normal position legs up and not put them back. So I’d hobble out on my wheelie walker and try to reach the other cushion. By this stage, the decision had been made.

I had to make a decision

Months ago, after talking with a friend, she advised me to make a decision. Was the money he paid towards rent worth the aggravation he continually gave me? Every day it was something new that annoyed me. My daughter told me she was sick of hearing me whinge about him. Until I was in hospital.

After a few days, she said “How can you stand living with that c#^}?” I was so happy that it wasn’t just me being a cranky old lady. He annoyed her in exactly the same way. It wasn’t just what he did that annoyed me — it was also what he didn’t do. He drank 6 cans of beer every second night, alternating it with two bottles of soft drink. Fair enough.

I don’t care, but he never once emptied the recycle bin into the larger bin out the front. Not once in two years! And it’s mostly his cans and bottles. Occasionally I might put a milk or juice bottle in the recyclable bin.

He never lifted a finger to help with anything — and I mean anything. He couldn’t even change a light bulb or put the rug back down when the floors had been washed.

He had a TV and DVD player in his room but never watched it. I didn’t discover this till I had a spare larger TV given to me and I asked if he would like it in his room instead of the smaller one he had. He said he never watched TV in his room — that made sense — he was in the lounge room all day and half the night!

He had some weird habits.

In two years, he never washed his sheets. I’m not sure that he ever slept in the bed. Maybe he slept under the bed. It wouldn’t surprise me. The bed was always made whenever I walked past his room. Conversely, every time I wanted to put a load of washing on, he would have some of his washing in the machine, usually only 6–9 items. My laundry is under the house and quite difficult for me to get to because of my bad knees.

So, more frustrating because I’d have to make another trip down. And if I had a load of washing on, he would take it out and put his load on so he was extra clean with his clothes but not his bed linen.

He never hung out a single item of my clothes nor general household items like bath mats, hand towels, or tea towels. He never brought a single item of clothing off the line even if he brought his own washing in and it looked like rain. Initially, I would bring in his clothes if I were getting mine off the line, but I stopped doing that a long time ago.

The straw that broke this camel’s back

A few months ago, I asked him if would he mind leaving the lid of the toilet up so, when I was dashing to make it to the toilet during the night, I didn’t have to stop for that two seconds and have an “accident” on the floor.

He left the lid up for one night and then kept putting it down. I got some surgical tape and taped the lid open so he physically couldn’t put it down. So what did he do next? He went from putting the lid down to leaving the seat up!!!! Was he trying to drive me bonkers? If so, he was succeeding. He drove me crazy in every possible way.

One of the things he did that irritated me beyond belief was every time I walked out the front door, he would ask, “Where are you off to?” The first time he asked I should have answered something silly like “I’m off to see a man about a dog” or “I’m off to buy a wigwam for the goose’s bridle”. But I’m too truthful. And 90% of the time I’d be just going round to Keeley’s for dinner, and I’d tell him so.

Was he calculating how long I’d likely be? Who knows? One afternoon as I was walking out with a beach towel over my shoulder, I got the usual “where are you off to?” It was pretty obvious I was going to the pool. So I told him “just the pool”. “Is it heated?” he asked. “Yes, it’s warm,” I answered. Then he wanted to know exactly which pool. It was at this point I lied because he said “oh the pool at the gym” and I replied “yes”. It felt so good not to tell him I was going to the heated pool at Brackenridge. Ridiculous, I know. Childish, maybe. But I shouldn’t have to explain my every move to him. He just rented a room in my house!

How did I tolerate him for more than two years? I ask myself this and the answer is the money he paid towards rent. I didn’t think I could survive financially without that money.

I feel better now

But I feel so much better coming home in the afternoon. I used to dread seeing his brown Kia parked out the front. He arrived home at 3 every afternoon so it was always difficult for me to beat him home.

Keeley has cleaned his room and within hours I got a request for a girl to stay. It’s only for a week, but it’s better than nothing!

I feel lighter now. Maybe this lightness is what people say decluttering feels like.