Why I Follow My Followers
and a few other silly things I have started doing since writing for the public.
#1. Following My Followers:
I have begun following everyone that follows me since I begun writing, whether it be on Medium or another social media platform. Not only because I like to support fellow writers, but also because I like to know what my main audience is interested in. It seems all too common for a writer to stick to one subject, sometimes one finds their ‘niche’ and continues on that road. I have never really been one to write for the masses. Whether books, articles, or even just a social media post, I follow my intuition and write what I am passionate about. Learning what my followers are interested in has helped me to find tags that are more relevant, learn different advertising platforms, and learn about the ones who on the other side of the screen.
#2. Writing For One Writer Instead of Many:
Yes, more common subjects get more views and will generally generate more income, but how many articles have you read about COVID? And how many articles do you think are out there about COVID?
When I developed the Un-Traditional Mother, my point was not to become popular, nor famous, it was to say the things that people generally don’t say. I was at one time the reader who looking for information about grieving the loss of a child, pagan traditions, or raising children, but I was not looking for textbook answers, and especially on taboo subjects, you had to dig hard and deep for actual experience. The problem comes into play because no one wants to admit they have no idea what they are doing, but I realized, other people need to hear it. There is one mother out there sitting on the couch at 3 am with a sleeping baby on her chest, one father who gets overwhelmed when the kids are insane or the baby won't stop crying, or a friend out there trying to comfort someone going through a loss but not knowing where to start.
I write for that one person if you want a parenting book than trust me when I say I am not the person you should be following, but if your a stay at home mom with two toddlers and losing your mind, I have some tips! No, I may never be a household name, but that’s okay. If one person who is struggling reads something I wrote and feels a little less alone, or one person is comforted by the fact that my kids are still alive and I too have no idea what I am doing on a regular basis, then to me that is the reason I wrote, not to make money.
#3 Accepting Judgement:
When it comes to just about anything I have realized there are always going to be people that pass judgment. Instead of worrying, I have just grown to accept that, mostly because it falls in line with #2. If I see a struggling mother and I make a suggestion that when things get tough to take a small break, people will pass judgment. Why? I haven’t quite figured out yet, to be honest. I have never suggested something illegal, nor something that would cause harm to anyone. If a new parent needs a moment alone to take a few deep breaths, that does not make them a bad parent, nor does it make me a bad person for suggesting it. No, I am never going to be able to please everyone, which is why I have come to a point where I would rather have one reader that finds solace in something I write, than a thousand readers who feel or learn nothing.
#4 Saying The Things People Don’t Want To Hear:
Sometimes it is hard, especially when someone asks a specific question, to write the things that are true but blunt. I find the most struggle on the subject of grieving. It is sometimes hard to tell someone “you never get over it”, or “there is no right way to deal with it”, it doesn’t seem helpful or insightful, but all I can hope is that maybe that one person who is grieving 4 years after the fact finds comfort that someone else believes that. I commonly use the phrase “everyone is different” or “maybe it is just me”, in hopes that the person struggling doesn’t see this as there is no light at the end of the tunnel. The fact is there is always light at the end of the tunnel… I try to convey that in my message all the time, but yes sometimes the daunting phrases like “sometimes all you can do is breath” or “no one can do it all, all of the time” stand in the way of the positive message. The fact is, this mother grew tired of people telling her if she would just get on schedule things would get better, or that she was not grieving properly, or even small things like “you're too hard on yourself”. I say the things people don’t want to hear because I know how bad they need to hear it, no telling someone there is no right way to do this does not leave a sense of comfort, but at the same time, it also doesn’t leave a sense of uncertainty. So if you would like me to tell you there is a “How to: For Dummies” Book that holds all the answers, I am probably not the right writer for you.
If you want to hear there isn’t a right way, and all you can do is your best, follow me, I will be sure to follow you back!
