Why I Finally Checked Bisexual on the Medical Form

And how freeing it was for me to finally do it

I sat there haphazardly filling out the standard medical questionnaire given to me at my primary doctor’s office every year on my annual checkup. Breezing through the documents, I checked “no” under family histories of breast cancer, “yes” to depression/anxiety and when I reached the final piece, the demographics I stopped.

Sexual orientation.

I’d never thought about it — how a simple question on a piece of paper could tell someone so much about who I am. And also, why had I never been brave enough to check “bisexual”? I looked at the boxes for a long time, before the nurse came out and called my name. After she weighed me, took my blood pressure, and escorted me to the exam room, I was left with the paperwork to complete for my doctor.

That’s when I did it: I checked bisexual.

After years of describing myself as hetero or bi-curious at most, I did it. I was sick of pretending to be someone that I was not. The truth was I was sexually attracted to both men and women. Sure, I have been married to and in love with a man for the better part of 20 years, but I’ve dated women and had sex with them as part of our ethical non-monogamous marriage and by participating in the swinging lifestyle.

It was the simplest thing, yet one of the most liberating things. By the time my doctor came in, I think she wondered what I was on by the look of pure joy on my face as I handed her the forms. I watched her as she glanced through the documents, not seeming to notice the demographics bit at the end. In reality, this paper would probably get shredded after it was digitally scanned into my file after I left. It was just another clerical task and another day for the staff of that office.

Yet, for me, and so many people like me, it was a defining moment. Whether it was a medical form, or telling a trusted friend that you were gay or bi, or any other kind of sexuality other than hetero, there is a moment in time when we finally chose to tell someone.

At that moment, when you finally decide to speak loud and proud about your sexuality…well, it’s life-changing.

Coming out is different for everyone. Some people know from the time they are kids that they are bisexual, gay, etc. For me, that wasn’t the case. I always knew I liked boys. I liked teasing them on the playground in the 5th grade, dancing with them in middle school, and in the end, I fell in love with my high school sweetheart who I’m still married to now. My bisexuality progressed slower. I don’t know if a part of me was ashamed of it or I just never took the time to look it in the face.

I always thought women were beautiful. I idolized the actresses on my favorite TV shows, but I assumed I more wanted to be like them, not that I actually had a crush on them.

Regardless of the length of time it takes one to comes to terms with their sexual orientation, being able to tell others is usually a whole different length of time separate from that. We all do it at our own pace and that’s okay.

For me, checking “bisexual” on the paper at my doctor’s office was the first step in others I want to eventually take. Even though I’ve identified bi to my very close circle of friends and husband for 5 years, I have yet to tell my parents, siblings, or anyone else. It’s not because I am ashamed of it, it’s because I have to do this on my own time.

But, this moment, even small in the grand scheme of things, means I am getting there. And that is worth celebrating!

© 2021 Keeva Black. All Rights Reserved

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