Why I Fell Out of Love From True Crime

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Abstract

?</p><p id="6edb">My love of true crime turned into a pursuit of psychology. I debated between going into criminology but I decided to go with psychology. I was one of those lads that thought they could change the world. If I tried hard enough I would make the world a better place.</p><h2 id="edb2">Making a Habit Of Desensitization</h2><p id="b48b">When I first started watching these videos they made me sick. For some reason, I couldn’t stop watching. I would take breaks but over time, those breaks became shorter. After a while, I was watching documentaries every single day.</p><p id="0bed">In high school, Crime Watch Daily was my favorite thing to watch. It was my morning routine to watch it while I was doing my makeup every single day before class. It was my favorite part of my day along with the documentaries I would watch after school.</p><h2 id="d281">There Are Real People That Died</h2><p id="d4a2">I don’t have a certain point in my life where I stopped watching that content completely. Over time, I replaced it with other forms of entertainment. I think that’s the problem. <b>I saw it as entertainment. This isn’t entertainment, these are real stories.</b> <i>Real people died, they had real families, real dreams, and lived real lives.</i> They aren’t some sort of fantasy for entertainment.</p><p id="4cfe">True crime has become almost “cool” to watch. One of my favorite podcasters Kendall Rae has the best message

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to her audience. That is to be an active true crime viewer. To use our voice to bring change in how the justice system handles cases. I appreciate that she’s compassionate about the victims. She brings advocacy wherever she can.</p><h2 id="a8b9">I Don’t Have The Emotional Stamina</h2><p id="9abb">As time went on I started to make the connection between the consumption of true crime with my mental health. True Crime isn’t something I watch much of anymore. When I was watching those videos as a teenager, I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. At that time I was going through an edgy phase and was numb.</p><p id="c268">I’m mindful of everything in my life. Including horrible stories about people getting their lives taken away. At one point I used to think that I could take on the baggage. That it would be fascinating to work with psychopaths and I could understand them. I can’t do that anymore.</p><p id="a6e8">When I was 16 I was certain that I was going to rehabilitate the world. I thought I was edgy because I wanted to be a prison counselor, it seemed so easy then. The truth is I don’t have the heart anymore to hear those stories. I’d be lying if I said I don’t listen to a podcast or two. However, I don’t watch all those news clips I used to. As preachy as this sounds, your diet includes what you watch too. Be mindful about what you watch because it does take a toll on your mental health.</p></article></body>

I’m not an edgy teen anymore.

“How many of you heard of Jack the ripper?” Says my English teacher.

My Sophomore English teacher asked us prior if there was such a thing as the perfect crime. Fascinated my ears perked up a bit. Ahh, a serial killer! We were going to be talking about a serial killer! I couldn’t help but not be intrigued. I know serial killers are bad but I couldn’t help but be curious.

As soon as school was over when I went home I looked up everything I could on Jack The Ripper. There was no real suspect and no one was ever caught. That couldn’t happen today I gawked at myself. We have too many resources, no one is that clever.

Learning To Spot A Killer

I didn’t idolize people who committed murder, a matter of fact it was the opposite. I feared them, detested them. My brain hatched up the idea that if I studied them, I would catch all the warning signs. What does a murderer look like? Would I be able to avoid one?

My love of true crime turned into a pursuit of psychology. I debated between going into criminology but I decided to go with psychology. I was one of those lads that thought they could change the world. If I tried hard enough I would make the world a better place.

Making a Habit Of Desensitization

When I first started watching these videos they made me sick. For some reason, I couldn’t stop watching. I would take breaks but over time, those breaks became shorter. After a while, I was watching documentaries every single day.

In high school, Crime Watch Daily was my favorite thing to watch. It was my morning routine to watch it while I was doing my makeup every single day before class. It was my favorite part of my day along with the documentaries I would watch after school.

There Are Real People That Died

I don’t have a certain point in my life where I stopped watching that content completely. Over time, I replaced it with other forms of entertainment. I think that’s the problem. I saw it as entertainment. This isn’t entertainment, these are real stories. Real people died, they had real families, real dreams, and lived real lives. They aren’t some sort of fantasy for entertainment.

True crime has become almost “cool” to watch. One of my favorite podcasters Kendall Rae has the best message to her audience. That is to be an active true crime viewer. To use our voice to bring change in how the justice system handles cases. I appreciate that she’s compassionate about the victims. She brings advocacy wherever she can.

I Don’t Have The Emotional Stamina

As time went on I started to make the connection between the consumption of true crime with my mental health. True Crime isn’t something I watch much of anymore. When I was watching those videos as a teenager, I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. At that time I was going through an edgy phase and was numb.

I’m mindful of everything in my life. Including horrible stories about people getting their lives taken away. At one point I used to think that I could take on the baggage. That it would be fascinating to work with psychopaths and I could understand them. I can’t do that anymore.

When I was 16 I was certain that I was going to rehabilitate the world. I thought I was edgy because I wanted to be a prison counselor, it seemed so easy then. The truth is I don’t have the heart anymore to hear those stories. I’d be lying if I said I don’t listen to a podcast or two. However, I don’t watch all those news clips I used to. As preachy as this sounds, your diet includes what you watch too. Be mindful about what you watch because it does take a toll on your mental health.