Why I Don’t Need To Get Married

Summary

The author discusses personal views on marriage, emphasizing that it is not a necessity but a choice to be made at the right time with the right person.

Abstract

The article "Why I Don’t Need To Get Married" reflects on the societal pressures and personal motivations surrounding marriage. The author, Johnny, recounts a family dinner conversation where his brother questions his marital status as he approaches thirty-one. Johnny expresses a relaxed attitude towards marriage, stating that while he desires to marry, he does not feel compelled to do so by age or societal expectations. He distinguishes between basic needs for survival, such as food, air, and money, and the choice to marry. The author acknowledges various reasons people may choose to marry, including biological clocks and societal pressures, but argues that making such a significant decision based on these factors alone can lead to unhappy outcomes, including divorce. He advocates for personal autonomy in the decision to marry, suggesting that individuals should not succumb to external pressures but rather follow their own path and timing.

Opinions

Marriage is viewed as a personal choice, not a mandatory life event.
Getting married should not be driven by a sense of urgency or societal norms.
The author believes that succumbing to external pressures to marry can result in poor decision-making and potentially lead to divorce.
The decision to marry should be based on finding the right partner and being ready personally, rather than on age or comparing oneself to peers.
The author emphasizes the importance of individual life paths and the futility of adhering to a prescribed life checklist.
He offers a free ebook, suggesting a connection between his views on marriage and broader life lessons learned from personal experiences, such as being rejected by women.

Nah.

My brother loves asking “odd” questions out of the blue. I think he gets some kick out of it. We were having a family dinner one night when he felt the need to activate his habit.

“Johnny, how old are you?” “Almost thirty-one”, I replied. I knew where this was going. “Whoaaa. Don’t you need to get married?” His face looked like someone who just realized he forgot to turn off the stove. “Not really”. “WHAATTT?? Are you serious? What do you mean not really?” “I mean, I’ll get married to the right girl at the right time. No particular rush here.” “What can I say. It’s your life. Do what you want”.

I need food to eat. I need air to breathe. I need money to make a living. I don’t NEED to get married. I want to.

To be fair, I get why some people will never feel like that. Women want to find a husband and start a family, or soon they won’t give birth. Other people will settle for their spouse for various reasons. Some pressure themselves because of what’s going on around them.

Either way, I think getting married because you feel “it’s time to settle down already”, or whatever rules you’ve taken upon yourself, is a terrible decision. That’s probably why some couples end up divorcing after a year.

It’s your life. Do what you want. It doesn’t matter if your mother pressures you. She won’t have to live with the consequences; you will. It doesn’t matter if you’re thirty-three and need to “be done with it” already, as life is some checklist you have to tick through. It doesn’t matter if your friends are already married and you’re not. You have your path, and it’s different from theirs.

Getting married because of some “neediness” is probably the worst decision you can make.