Why I Don’t Make New Year’s Resolutions

Time to rethink New Year’s goals — I‘m opting out

We’ve all done it. Those fantastic New Year’s resolutions we promise we’ll stick to, only to ditch them by February. Gym memberships, weight loss, investing, improving finances, learning something new… Everything seems to be exceptionally exciting in the first month of the year.

Companies know this and tailor their products accordingly. Terms like Veganuary and sober January are becoming more and more common. New Year’s challenges are all over social media as if there were a competition to find the craziest, most radical challenge.

The social pressure is real.

But I’m not buying into it anymore. Here’s why.

Society’s timing isn’t my timing

Looking back, I made none of the changes in my life in January.

• I started learning languages in September 2012
• I moved to Germany in March 2019
• I published my book in April 2020 (and started writing it in October 2019)
• I started taking cold showers in December 2020
• I gave up alcohol in November 2022
• I started writing on Medium in October 2023

Where is January?

Why I’m asking? Because I made New Year’s resolutions again and again since 2011. None of those goals ever stuck with me. I’ve been after January for so long only to find that nothing. Ever. Worked.

Maybe my timing doesn’t coincide with that of people around me.

If anything, fall seems to be the season I prefer the most. But that’s not always the case. So why start everything at a certain date and time?

That’s why the 1st of January is now just a day to celebrate, nothing more.

I trust my timing.

Question for you, dear reader: Looking back, how many of your biggest changes and accomplishments came from your New Year’s resolutions? How many of them started in January?

Starting fresh? “New year, new me”? Not quite.

How many of us make the promise to ourselves that we’ll be “starting fresh”, magically becoming a new version of ourselves once the year changes? Many of us, it seems, since these phrases are all over the place. But that’s an irrational promise.

No change comes overnight. You can’t pretend all your shortcomings, all your vices and insecurities have disappeared just because the year changed.

Don’t be afraid of who you are. No matter what change you want to bring about, that’s the person you’re going to work with. And the package comes with last year’s flaws.

Don’t pretend these flaws don’t exist. Embrace them, work with them, understand why they’re holding you back, and find ways you can take advantage of them to bring about the changes you want. You’ll see the change of the year won’t be relevant anymore.

I’ve fallen into this trap way too many times, even though I know it makes no sense. So I removed the trigger of this dangerous thought. No more “new year, new me”; I just work with what I have, starting whenever I want (read: now).

My goals were way too unrealistic

I know, I know, this could happen any month of the year when setting new goals.

But January and - like I mentioned - this whole “new year, new me” concept made me too ambitious.

As a result, I never set any SMART goals: they were anything but Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, or Time-Bound. All I cared about was the starting date: January of the new year. The sky was the limit, and then I was left wondering why I couldn’t get closer to it as I gave up around mid-February.

My friends’ goals were just as unrealistic. So were the ones from almost everyone on social media. We were all too distracted to even pay attention to our goals from December. I’m suspecting it’s a common phenomenon.

Why?

Because making many big changes and doing it all at once rarely works. Starting with minor changes do, as they eventually add up to huge results.

Internal reasons are stronger than external ones

In language learning, I always talk about the power of intrinsic motivation versus extrinsic motivation.

Meaning, it’s usually better and more effective to pursue your goals for reasons that come from you, rather than from people or circumstances around you.

“I want to learn a language because I love that culture” is stronger than “I want to learn a language because people say it’s important for my future career.”

A genuine desire to change, no matter for what reason, as long as it’s YOUR reason, is stronger than something you feel you should do because, say, a new year is coming.

No more unnecessary pressure!

Countless times people asked me, “So what are your New Year’s resolutions?” I still get that question a lot, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

The pressure is real. But I’m recovering from burnout; there’s simply no more room for any of it, let alone self-imposed one.

Everyone around me seems to be under so much pressure to conform to certain standards. Work, family members, obligations, deadlines. Why add one more?

Yes, setting goals and keeping yourself accountable is fine, but why should we all start at the same time and have the same time frame? And while we’re at it, I’m tempted to ask the million-dollar question one more time:

Why January to begin with?

Let’s forget every other reason I wrote about. Why should I even have any resolutions for January? Because everyone else does it? Because the man-made year number will increase by one? Because our planet will have orbited around the sun one more time? Or because a Roman leader decided to create and make January the first month of the year?

Yes, some sources say the Roman king Numa Pompilius created January. According to tradition, he also made January the first month in the calendar, which was fitting, since the word “January” comes from “Janus”, the Roman god of all beginnings. The calendar has changed and new adjustments have been added, but January is still the first month.

Sounds interesting, but it doesn’t convince me to set any goals. None of the reasons resonate with me. So I’m opting out.

Let’s not forget the famous quote, which I’ll slightly edit:

“Well, apart from medicine, irrigation, health, roads, cheese and education, baths and the Circus Maximus, what have the Romans ever done for us?”

“Brought peace and New Year’s resolutions for January?”

“Oh, shut up!”

What I do instead

To summarize, here’s what I do:

• I trust my timing and set goals accordingly
• I break my goals into small, manageable chunks and work on them step by step
• There’s no “new year, new me”. I work with who I am and what I have right now.
• I make sure the reasons for change come from inside me, not from anyone else or at any time of the year.
• I annoy people with the story of Numa Pompilius

What about you? Will you make New Year’s resolutions?

Whatever your answer is, happy goal-setting!

Maria