Why I Don’t Drink Alcohol Anymore as a 25 yo.

And why you also might want to stop if you care about your life quality.

Here’s an unpopular opinion: drinking alcohol is obsolete.

I’m 25, and I’m Polish, which adds to the controversy of this statement.

But the “sober” trend is rising, and I think everyone should reconsider the “why’s” behind the glass.

Being young, as per definition, I should be out every Friday night, partying and “living my life”.

And instead, I go to sleep at 9 pm to wake up at 5 am, meditate for 1h and exercise before I start working at 8. I also meditate for 1h before going to sleep.

In the eyes of many people I know, I’m boring.

And sometimes I wonder that too.

But then I remember I wouldn’t trade a single day of this “boredom” for living a life that wasn’t mine, pretending to be someone I am not, doing things that leave me empty and burnt out emotionally. Not anymore.

I learned my ways of life, and I protect them seriously.

One of them is not drinking.

Why it’s worth quitting the booze

Let me give you a few reasons why you might want to consider switching to good old water if you are serious about improving your life and mental health.

#1 Alcohol distracts you from seeing what needs your attention.

It’s precisely what makes it appealing. It’s also precisely what keeps you miserable.

You can’t heal what you refuse to confront.

It just won’t happen if you keep numbing yourself.

The truth is harsh.

I know very well life gets unbearable. It gets so hard you want to tear yourself apart just not to feel the pain.

When my boyfriend passed away, the last thing I felt like doing was facing the void left in me.

When going through 6 years of depression, I was sh*tless scared of my own mind. I certainly didn’t feel like confronting it.

When I did stupid things I was terribly ashamed of, I felt like hiding, not facing reality.

But I knew I had to.

You have to confront the pain if you want to live.

The way out is through.

Good thing is that you don’t have to face things on your own. Go to therapy, or if you can’t afford it, look into other ways of dealing through growth.

Here’s a link with some to grab. I, too, couldn’t afford therapy for the most part.

#2 You basically sip mood swings and anxiety

Writer Jil Francis, later quoted by Tim Denning, draws an interesting fact from the research.

Apparently, our minds experience significant shifts in dopamine levels when we drink. And if you’re familiar with depression, you probably know that stable levels of dopamine alongside serotonin are a must if you want to feel happy again.

Scrolling through colour-screaming feeds with reels made of 100 images per millisecond is enough to throw your dopamine levels through the roof. High highs always bring low lows.

That’s why I quit IG and TikTok too, but that’s for another story.

#3 You lie to yourself

If you need to drink when you meet up with someone, it means either this relationship is not good, or your relationship with yourself requires love and attention. Then see point #1.

Don’t sip lies, drinking yourself into “enjoying” the social situation which you know deep down is depleting you of energy.

If you don’t feel like hanging out with someone without a drink in your hand, it might be a sign there’s something you’re refusing to see in that situation.

And alcohol only keeps you in your misery longer.

If you need to change social circles to feel happier, then change social circles to feel happier.

I’ve done it more than once.

We outgrow people around us. It’s normal. They outgrow us too.

Yes, it hurts to say goodbye to people. Nobody wants to feel lonely.

But since when surrounding yourself with people with whom you can’t just be yourself makes you feel better? How is it different from being lonely in yourself?

If you deny who you are, if you refuse to see it, you will always be lonely. No amount of booze or shallow conversations will change it.

Let yourself see what you really need, and take the first step in that direction.

#4 You get lost in your own house

Alcohol desensitises your mind, making it more numb to introspection. You feel more and more lost in yourself and confused about life.

You don’t understand why people act the way they do.

Heck, why do you act the way you do?

If your mind isn’t sharp enough, you are unable to trace your thought patterns instead of being pulled by them in all directions helplessly.

You don’t know how to distance yourself from all the drama going on in your mind, and you can’t reflect on the accuracy of your automatic reactions or the intensity of your emotions.

Alcohol keeps you on the shallow surface of life. It makes your mind dull and slow.

And then you wonder why you have anxiety or why you are depressed.

It’s okay. I did that too.

Since I stopped drinking, I’ve noticed a significant improvement in my ability to control what have been my automatic reactions.

I don’t get lost in endless loops of thoughts that used to drive me crazy.

My whole system is far more regulated.

I took a deep plunge.

It feels good to be in greater control of the house I live in.

#5 People do things they often regret when they are drunk

If you don’t want to do dumb sh*t, then don’t make yourself do dumb sh*t.

Easiest way to achieve this is to quit drinking.

If you keep working on yourself, you can expect your decision-making abilities to improve and your ways of being in the world to develop as you progress.

But when you pour % into your veins? You’re no longer the conductor of this orchestra.

I’ve done stupid things after alcohol, not many but enough to regret them years later. Sometimes I wouldn’t recognise myself when I looked back at these moments. I acted against my values and beliefs. I used alcohol to cover the issues I didn’t want to deal with just yet.

Easy to guess that such a coping method was generating only more problems.

Now, if I do something I regret, at least I am able to trace back through my thought patterns and analyse what might’ve caused me to derail from my ideal track. I can course-correct because I am more aware of why I do the things I do.

You can’t do it if you keep numbing your mind.

#6 Health

Health stuff regarding alcohol is controversial. Some say red wine does have health benefits, but I’m not so sure. I certainly didn’t feel healthier when I drank it.

However, I’m not a scientist, so won’t talk much about it. Everyone can figure for themselves.

I will just give you a few thought prompts.

• Why do we need meds for hangovers? I mean, medicine is for illness, no?
• Why do you feel unwell after you drank too much? Or, in some cases, even one glass (my body knew before my mind did).
• Why don’t they sell alcohol to people under a certain age whose bodies are still developing? Why do they advise pregnant women against alcohol too?

It’s just a few things to ponder about.

I mean, if there weren’t any problems, then there wouldn’t be any problems, right?

Just give yourself time to sit with this later.

#7 Be yourself — and learn what it means

I used to drink usually when I wanted to get myself to be more “social”, “entertaining”, and “talkative”.

But when I thought about it, I understood that if I need alcohol to bring out these traits, that means they are not natural to me.

If I force myself to be a certain way, which I’m not by default, it’ll create energy debt, leaving me drained and barren over time.

If I keep pushing myself to be who I am not, I will be disconnecting from myself more and more, and if I am disconnected from myself, I no longer know what I want and how. I don’t love myself. I don’t know how to listen to myself, and so — I’m unhappy.

I’ll repeat myself here because it’s just too important.

Drinking is often a way of running away from ourselves.

We fear facing what’s inside, so we look for ways to diffuse the pain, the longing, the loneliness, and the fear.

But we forget that the longer we run away, the more they multiply and the stronger they will come chasing us. There’s no running away from oneself.

Distractions only make the pain last longer. They prolong unnecessary suffering.

Facing your pains and fears requires some degree of courage, but to me, you need more courage to agree to spend your whole life in unnecessary, self-induced suffering.

Yes, you do have a choice.

You get to choose how your mindset is. You have all the power to work on yourself.

Baby steps.

If you want to end the suffering, you have to face the darkness. The way out is always through. It doesn’t sound sexy or exciting, but that’s the truth.

To me, the choice is simple — keep cutting off everything distracting you so you can keep facing yourself in more and more detail.

Then, eventually, you will get freed up from all suffering. But only if you choose to.

If you keep choosing distractions and diffusers, you will be rolling in self-induced suffering all your life.

Connecting with yourself is an act of coming home, as Thich Nhat Hahn, a Zen Buddhist monk, said.

And for me, drinking is like running away from home or sleeping at the doorstep.

#8 Become more assertive — and know what is important to you

As I said, I’m Polish. Among many wonderful things, Poland is also unfortunately known for vodka and the social drinking rate.

When I first started telling my friends I didn’t drink, most were in deep refusal, outraged even. How dare you — they were almost saying.

When you don’t drink, it makes others uncomfortable because they feel like you are criticising them.

That’s curious.

People are not stupid, and we all know instinctively alcohol is bad for us. We just (again) refuse to see it.

I had to learn how to say no to many pushy offers.

Friends would buy me alcohol even if they knew I didn’t drink, and then they’d get angry with me for not appreciating their gesture.

They didn’t understand they did it for themselves and not for me.

People are often angry with me when I don’t drink. They seem disappointed as if I was doing something against them.

We don’t like to see the reflections of our potential. And each of us has the potential to be healthier and happier. That’s why we feel uncomfortable around those who do it.

I also didn’t like people who decided to stop drinking. Even though I wasn’t a big drinker, I’d still associate it with being “fun” and “cool”.

Not anymore.

I’m not trying to pull anyone that way.

I’m learning to be okay with being left on the side of “fun” because I don’t drink.

The people who still stick around understand that genuine connection is possible (and, tbh, much better) without alcohol.

I stopped drinking to see things as they are

Ofc I lost friends since I quit alcohol. Some tried forcing me into drinking — “it’s just one glass”. It created some tension during family meetings, too.

But to me, it was yet another sign that my decision was good.

These friendships weren’t sustainable and were draining both sides — after all, they required additional fuel to exist.

And with family? I love them, and I know they love me too. We don’t have to agree on everything.

If someone has a problem with me not drinking, I don’t try explaining or defending my position. I just smile and let them be — and most importantly, let myself be the way I am and the way I want to be.

If I see something popping up that might require my attention or work when I interact with people, I then come back to it, look closer, and evaluate with myself if it’s really something I want to work on or is it what others expect of me.

After that consideration, I act accordingly to what aligns with me.

One of the Five Mindfulness Trainings prepared by Thich Nhat Hahn, a Zen Buddhist monk and teacher, summarises it all very well:

I am determined not to try to cover up loneliness, anxiety, or other suffering by losing myself in consumption.

Before you go

I’m Justyna Cyrankiewicz, and I write about simple things that make overcomplicated minds.

If you enjoyed this piece, consider subscribing to my free weekly letters. It’s a community of people who, like you, care about what’s up in their heads.

P.S. Please note that this story is based on my personal experience, the books I’ve read, and the teachings I have received. Don’t follow online advice if your mental health is severely at risk; reach out to friends, professionals, and other groups to gain relevant support for your particular situation.

Thank you for being here.