Content Creator Life

Why I Charged A “Friend” For A Service I Used To Give To Him For Free

I just had to.

There are friends. Then there are opportunists.

It’s hard to spot the latter initially, but I did not too long ago. It upset me so much that I was driven to write this article, even though I’d rather nap right now.

The person I’m referring to is a small business owner who runs a review center for healthcare providers taking specific licensing and certification exams. For obvious reasons, I’m not naming names.

He’s doing well but wants to scale things by bolstering his content creation strategy and improving his digital products.

He knows that creating content has been my sole obsession for months, so he’s asked me a few times for advice.

And I have. I’ve willingly given him my time and knowledge several times at no cost.

This person and I go way back. I’ve known him for close to ten years. And I’m a bit of a softie when it comes to people I know. Sometimes, even to people I don’t know. If I could give something freely away, I would.

But something about how this person acted led me to set up a wall around me all of a sudden.

We have had several calls in the past because he had considered giving me freelance projects on his website. In every call, we’d discuss his project, and I’d come up with a price that I know is competitive enough.

Whenever I gave him a price proposal, he’d say he’ll think about it. I’d agree, respect his space, and not bug him to fork over his money. In my mind, it’s his business. He has the right to decide how to spend or not spend his resources.

The problem is, he has this habit of contacting me again weeks later out of nowhere, asking to meet again on possible freelance projects.

I’d agree, and we would go through the whole dance of discussing projects and service pricing, which ultimately led nowhere.

Then It Happened Again

He recently messaged me again, saying he had some work for me, forgetting that he had ghosted me the last time we spoke.

This was the fourth time this had happened.

But this time, I pointed him to my Gumroad coaching link.

I did this for one reason:

I didn’t want us to waste time talking and then have the conversation just go to waste again.

I don’t know of any other creator that will charge less for coaching at rock-bottom pricing.

If $30 is enough to discourage him from working with me, I know he isn’t serious enough to work with me. In other words, we’re looking at a repeat of all our other dead-end calls.

Had he signed up, I would have pleasantly surprised him by refunding what he paid and then done the coaching call anyways.

But my generosity suddenly evaporated when he replied,

I have to pay?

Being the softie, I dodged his question and responded,

I can help you with online social strategy if that’s a project you want to work on.

He didn’t answer that night. I thought that was the end of it. No problem.

But Then It Wasn’t Over

The following day, he replied that he had gotten my message the night before.

For a moment, I thought,

Oh cool. Looks like we’re on to something for real this time.

I reminded him to go through my coaching link if he wanted to have a meeting.

But then he repeated the same question,

There’s a fee now?

That’s when I lost it.

One of the things I like about texting is that people don’t see how pissed I am when I read or hear something so outrageous.

Instead of going ballistic on him, I said yes, I was charging for my services now. But he’s more than welcome to consider whether he really needed my services first.

So far, I don’t have a response.

I mean, I get it. Inflation. Gas prices. It feels like the sky is falling every day. And we’re constantly afraid it’ll squash us all into pulp.

But I know this guy.

I don’t know exactly how much he makes. But I do know what he does. He easily makes six figures from at least three streams of income.

And if money was really an issue, he could have told me.

He knows I’d have understood and made accommodations.

But it’s not the money.

What it appears to me is a sense of entitlement to my time. An assumption that knowing each other personally gives him the license to waste my time repeatedly.

How do I know?

Because not once has he apologized for “forgetting” to get back to me about our previous meetings. He’d send me a message whenever he felt like it, sometimes well into the night. And stupidly enough, I always played the role of a lapdog and responded.

Well, no more.

Creators Need To Have Self-Respect

Content creators have become more mainstream, but a good chunk of people still don’t understand what we do.

Some folks think we’re all on Instagram showing off our dog or on YouTube documenting our surfing adventures in Bali.

There are still those who don’t see the blood, sweat, and tears we spill to produce content that may or may not be read, watched, or heard.

Instead, they see us as all play. And therefore, not people to be taken seriously. Or even paid.

This has to change. And that change needs to start with us.

Content creators have to start being mindful of protecting our profession.

Yes. Content creation is a profession. It’s actual, real work. Work that must be respected and properly valued.

We don’t just write articles, pose in front of the camera, or talk on a podcast for no reason.

We inspire, and we educate. We add color to the world. We give hope.

That’s worth A LOT.

If we want others to realize our worth, we must lead by example by asserting our right to our time and space.

I charged my “friend” not to make a quick buck.

A few bucks won’t change my life. And like I said, had he not been so blatantly cheap and not questioned why I was charging for my services, I’d have even given his money back.

But I charged him anyway.

Because, at long last, I felt the need to assert myself and my identity as a content creator.

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