Why I Am Still Single

Summary

The author is a single father of two autistic boys, who prioritizes his children and personal growth over dating, and is open to a relationship only if it aligns with his unique and busy lifestyle.

Abstract

The author has been divorced for four years and has not pursued a new relationship seriously. Despite initial attempts to date after his divorce, his focus shifted to full-time parenting of his two sons with autism. His busy life, which includes full-time work, running, writing, and autism advocacy, leaves little room for a social life. He is open to the idea of dating but has strict criteria for a potential partner, who must accept his life and schedule, understand the demands of raising autistic children, and deal with the unpredictability of his role as a single parent. The author values his personal development since the divorce and is unwilling to compromise his identity for a relationship. While he is not actively seeking a relationship, he keeps the possibility open to the right person who shares a similar dynamic and lifestyle.

Opinions

The author has a low interest in dating and prioritizes his children and personal interests.
A potential partner must be accepting and understanding of the author's life as a single father to autistic children.
The author values his personal growth and will not compromise his identity for a relationship.
He is open to dating under very specific circumstances that align with his unique and demanding lifestyle.
The author does not seek typical dating experiences like frequent nights out or travel, preferring a partner who shares his life situation and values.

Why I Am Still Single

It is the same old question as always from everyone. Am I going to enter into a relationship with someone? Am I going to date again? Is it this or that?

Yes, that has been a lingering question for some time. I have been officially divorced for nearly four years, and it has been five years since I parted ways with my ex.

I know of a few people who got divorced roughly around the same time as I and many of them have either gotten remarried or have a significant other in their life. Some people do wonder why I haven’t followed suit.

Well, to go back a few years ago, I did make a few attempts to date and to start a relationship, however, to be honest, right now, at this point in my life, it is an idea that I remotely might consider; yet I would say it is near the bottom of my priority list.

After some time after my divorce, I was all for the idea of dating and putting myself out there, and I did; however after nearly a year something happened. I took on my two boys full-time.

I became a full-time single father of two boys with autism. This played a huge factor, and therefore, for the most part, I made my social life the sacrifice that needed to happen, including dating.

Also, I work full time, run, and write; I have my two boys seven days a week with little to no break, advocating for autism causes, amongst other things. I keep myself so busy that I don’t focus on dating or putting myself out there. That isn’t to say that I have disregarded the idea; however, it would take a lot for me to consider dating and starting a relationship with someone.

They would have to be accepting of my life and schedule. Also, be understanding of the demands that come with being a single parent of two autistic boys. They will have to be able to deal with the unpredictability that comes with being the sole provider of teenage boys with special needs. In addition, since my divorce, I have worked very hard to become the person I wanted to be. I am not willing to sacrifice who I am to appease someone. That means I want my dynamic to remain the same. Now, if someone had a very similar dynamic as me, then it might be possible, but there are also additional factors to consider. A relationship is not easy, and neither is my own life.

If someone wants someone to travel, have a good time, nights out on the town, be wined and dined, and all the other things that come with dating, that isn’t for me. Like my situation in life, I am very unique, and I do, at times, dance to the beat of my own drum.

While some are in thriving relationships, and I am truly happy for them, I am not looking to be in one, but I keep the door open a little bit, just to see if something might be peering in.