Why Have a Stable Sense of What Your Worth Is

Summary

Understanding one's self-worth is crucial for maintaining emotional stability and independence from external validation.

Abstract

The article emphasizes the importance of having a stable sense of self-worth, independent of others' opinions. It suggests that without self-awareness and recognition of our own capabilities, we become vulnerable to the negative effects of both criticism and praise. The piece warns against the dangers of accepting external judgments without question, as this can lead to a distorted sense of self and a dependency on others for validation. Instead, it advocates for developing a resilient self-esteem by trusting one's own judgment, validating personal feelings, and learning to think independently. This process enables individuals to confidently navigate life's challenges and appreciate their unique qualities.

Opinions

External validation, whether positive or negative, can be detrimental if it replaces one's own assessment of self-worth.
Individuals should not rely on others to determine their value or what they deserve.
It is important to cultivate an internal sense of judgment to validate one's own feelings and responses.
Developing resilient self-esteem is a key component in building a strong sense of self and can be started at any point in life.
Knowing oneself and one's true worth leads to more original thinking and a better understanding of personal identity.

Without knowing who we really are and what our capabilities are, we are prone to having problems coping with either denigration or adulation.

If other people decide we are amazing at something, talented or plain superior, there will be nothing inside us to stop us from swallowing that seemingly sweet and tender treat. Their verdicts, however kind, will make us suffer enormous failure if wrong headed. We will be helpless before the court of mass opinion.

Never ask others what you deserve before seeking deep inside yourself for an answer. Because the lack of an independent verdict also leads to an unnatural hunger for external appreciation.

Don’t laugh at jokes that aren’t funny. Check your inner barometer when hearing a joke. Learn to validate your own feelings and, most importantly, your less typical response to certain events. Because resilient self-esteem can begin to be built at any point in our lives.

We can learn to take our own sides and feel strong inside, trusting ourselves more than the people around us, feeling that we might be able to say no for ourselves.

Having come to know ourselves and our true worth, we will be much more original in our thinking. We will have befriended who we really are.