Why Friendship Is the Most Valuable Currency
2020 taught me to surround myself with people who elevate me
It’s October 2019. We’re 8,000 miles from home in a foreign land. We haven’t slept in 24 hours and don’t plan on sleeping anytime soon. We’re here to surprise a friend we haven’t seen in over a year. He’s been overseas teaching English, and he has no idea we’re in Thailand waiting to meet him.
We leave the airport and head straight for his hostel. Our hearts are about to explode from the anticipation. I have my camera at the ready. I want to record every moment of the surprise.
He walks into frame. I’ve never seen someone look so clueless. I could hear the cogs in his brain firing up, trying to calculate what was going on. We pounce on him, laughing together in pure joy. After more than a year, my best friends and I were finally together. We had an entire adventure ahead of us, and we were ready to make new memories.
It’s March 2020. I’m at work, scrambling with the task of adjusting our business schedule. The Covid-19 virus has just been nationally recognized in the United States, and everything is shutting down. I’m spending the better part of my days canceling or rescheduling client appointments, and I’m battling a sickness myself.
We got back from Thailand months ago. Some of the most memorable weeks of my life are just distant memories now. Little did I know that these would be some of the last for a while. This year, however, would teach me to find value in what I have. The friendships I have are priceless, and I’m richer because of them.
When money is short…
I’ve thought more about money over the past few months than I ever have. I’m sure many of us are in the same boat. Some of us aren’t working, so we have more time to think about what we don’t have. My singular goal, as of late, has been to figure out how to take advantage of the current situation and make more money. Is that a problem? Is that selfish?
Money gets us things, and it’s that simple. Yes, it pays the bills, but extra money lets us purchase items to distract us from the time we have when we aren’t working. Stress builds inside us when we don’t make as much money as we want, or even as much as we are used to.
It’s frustrating, but it’s taught me the importance of slowing down. For as much pressure as I’m putting on myself to build a newsletter empire and diversify my income streams, this year has also taught me that life is about much more than money.
I’m stressed, but the currency I’ve stockpiled in relationships is racking up interest. I was rich already, and I didn’t know it. When those few moments of depression started to seep in, my friends arrived to quell those feelings. Together, we adapted to this new way of life. We went on more hikes, set up Zoom meetings, and started playing way more video games.
There is a bump in the road. It’s still there, and it isn’t going to be flattened for some time. Our goals are a little further out of reach now. Luckily, life isn’t about the end of the journey but the moments in between. When the money isn’t there, we adapt. We already have a currency that does not deplete but builds us.
Things we own
Holy cow, I’m happy I didn’t buy a car this year. I was considering purchasing one right before the first wave, but I dodged a bullet. I work from home and hardly leave the house in general. What do I need a new car for? I already have one that functions fine.
We put too much value on items that depreciate over time anyway. Yeah, it’s pretty sweet pulling up to the function in a Benz, but whose function are you going to right now anyway? Nothing is going on, and even if there is, what are you doing going there? Go back home. Just play Call of Duty with the boys.
If there is anything to take away from these shutdowns, we can still be happy with less. I’m not saying you should be a minimalist, but you can get by with a good book and a new recipe to cook. You can make it through a whole day with a few walks outside and a new Netflix series. Your friends don’t care about the things you own. They want to spend time with you, whether it’s in person (socially distanced or course) or virtually.
The currency our close friends provide is enough to sustain us. Mentally, they are the foundation of who we are. The things we own are meaningless when it comes to our relationships. The things we own don’t add intrinsic value to our lives, and they often burden us or weigh us down.
Time is scarce
Occasionally, I see someone I know at the grocery store, or I have a quick chat with some I used to talk to more often before the pandemic. “Time is fake,” I tell them. Memories we think happened the other day actually occurred five months ago.
It’s astonishing just how fast time passes by. I swear, the older I get, the faster time moves. Tell me it doesn’t, and I won't believe you. Time pressure is real, and it’s psychological stress that occurs when we feel like there is less time available than we need to complete our goals.
We tend to have tunnel vision when we feel this type of pressure. We make one or two things the most important things in our lives and neglect the others. For me, an obvious thing I’m worried about is money. Like I said earlier, with all this extra time I have, I figure I better focus on something that’ll increase my net worth.
I initially jumped on Medium in another attempt to find a stream of income. I read those articles about people making thousands of dollars on the platform, and I thought I’d give it a try. It didn’t take me long to realize that, as a beginner, I’d be lucky to scrape $10 off the wall.
As I soon found out, writing isn’t about the money but about delving into our minds. It’s also helping me become more organized, and I thoroughly feel like I am more productive when I otherwise would have too much time on my hands.
I am concerned about my time because I know I am young. I don’t want to use the excuse, “I’m young. I’ll figure out my finances when I’m older.” I’m already thinking about savings. Will I have enough for retirement? If I don’t get a safe, full-time job, will I ever be secure?
I look to my friends for inspiration. Of my group of best friends, only one has a career-type job. He’s an EMT, and he works his ass off in the hopes of becoming a fireman one day. The rest of us, well, we’re technically entrepreneurs. We’re creators, and we know we wouldn’t be satisfied with a normal desk job.
They motivate me. We motivate each other. That’s what our relationship is all about. With all this time we have, the best thing we can do is take advantage of it.
If life is a subscription service, and time is a six-season show with no re-runs allowed, then my friends and I are all watching it together, and we share the same account. If we can’t watch the show again, then we’re going to make the most of it. We’re in this together, and we will hand out our password to anyone who has something positive to say.
One Last Thought
I’m rich, and I’ll continue to be rich. 2020 has changed how we think. Moving forward, everything will be different. We won’t look at anything the same again. That’s good and bad. The bad is that we might be hesitant to go out and meet new people, but the good lies in our appreciation for what we already have.
Look at your five closest friends, and then look at yourself. You are a product of your relationships. For every person you get close to, you take a piece of them, just like they take a piece of you. You are your own person, but you can be defined by the people you surround yourself with.
Friends aren’t your most valuable currency because they support you financially but because they are measured by the positive feedback loop your relationships create.
Let’s put it this way. Surround yourself with five lazy friends, and chances are you’ll become lazy too. Surround yourself with five goal-oriented friends who strive to better themselves, and you’ll want to be more productive like them.
We are creatures of habit, but we’re also social beings. We seek out currency all the time, if not directly, but indirectly. Friends make us richer in more ways than one. And yes, depending on who you place in your inner circle, your friends can have an impact on your success.
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