Summary

The article discusses the negative impact of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) on mental health and financial well-being, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and combating this phenomenon to maintain personal happiness and stability.

Abstract

The concept of FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out, has become increasingly prevalent in society, particularly with the rise of social media. The article explains that FOMO stems from comparing one's life to the curated highlight reels presented by others online, leading to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. It highlights that these comparisons are often unrealistic, as people typically only share the positive aspects of their lives, creating a skewed perception of reality. The author argues that succumbing to FOMO can result in impulsive and financially detrimental decisions, as individuals strive to emulate the seemingly perfect lives of others. The article encourages readers to focus on the positive aspects of their own lives and to remember that everyone experiences moments of dissatisfaction and that true happiness comes from within, not from external validation or possessions.

Opinions

FOMO is detrimental to mental health, causing anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy due to constant comparison with others.
Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram are significant contributors to FOMO, as they present idealized versions of people's lives.
The author suggests that the feeling of envy associated with FOMO is based on a misconception, as no one's life is as perfect as it appears online.
FOMO can lead to impulsive financial decisions, as individuals attempt to purchase happiness or validate their self-worth through material possessions.
The article posits that true contentment comes from appreciating one's own life and circumstances rather than fixating on what others may have or be doing.
It is emphasized that thoughts shape our reality and perception of happiness, suggesting that a positive mindset can significantly improve one's quality of life.

Why FOMO is a NO NO

and how to avoid it

Photo by Clinton Austin from Getty Images on Canva

About ten years ago, a journalist contacted me for my view on FOMO. At this time, it was a fairly new syndrome but, like most syndromes, it’s now become common parlance, so much so that it was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2013.

For those people who have been on a silent retreat for the last ten years, FOMO is the Fear Of Missing Out. It’s that feeling you get when you see everyone else doing something and you feel like you’re missing out on whatever they’re doing. It can be anything from a party, a new product to a fabulous holiday.

Of course, this feeling has always existed. Throughout time, sitcoms have been based on keeping up with the neighbours or resenting a family member that appeared to have more but the envy was limited to the people you knew or knew of whereas, now, you have the whole world to get FOMO about.

So why is FOMO a NO NO?

The problem with FOMO is that it’s based on comparison and competition. You’re comparing your life to someone else’s and you think they’re doing better than you. This is not only untrue, but it’s also damaging to your mental health.

It’s believed that social media is the real culprit. And it’s true that Facebook and Instagram have a lot to do with FOMO. You think you’re getting a peek into someone else’s life and, unless they’re documenting a breakdown or illness as some do, it can look as if everyone is having a better life than you are.

This is simply not true. No one’s life is as perfect as it looks on social media. In fact, most people’s lives are far from perfect. But you compare your life to the highlight reel of someone else’s and feel like you’re falling short.

But you shouldn’t believe what you see. There’s a slew of fake plane journey photos and videos on social media recently using all manner of different objects as the plane window. The trick is to upload a video or photo to your phone, iPad or laptop and then place a random object, this could be the kettle, a detergent bottle, or anything with an oval-shaped hole, and, yes, even toilet seats have been used, and film yourself looking through the ‘window’ or just film the video through the window to look as if you’re on a plane or train.

As the author, Erica Jong, once said: “Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.”

FOMO causes Mental Health Issues

FOMO is based on a comparison that is not only untrue but also damaging to mental health and can lead to anxiety and depression. When you’re constantly worried that you’re missing out on something, it takes a toll on mental health. People become anxious and stressed, and this can lead to depression.

FOMO is also damaging because it leads to feelings of envy, jealousy, and insecurity. It makes you feel like you’re not good enough and that you’ll never be as good as other people. This is not only untrue, but it’s also harmful to your self-esteem.

You might be very happy with your life. Nice everything and then you see that a friend is on a luxury holiday and, suddenly, two weeks camping in Devon just doesn’t cut it.

This fear can lead you to look at what you think is missing from your life rather than what you have. The feeling points you in the wrong direction for happiness.

Instead of celebrating what you have, you think you must be doing something wrong because you don’t have what they have.

When I split up from the father of my daughters many years ago, I was astounded at how many people were shocked or upset as they believed we were the perfect couple or the perfect family. Yes, my husband was a good man but we’d run our course. And some people even told me that they’d envied our relationship and wished theirs was more like ours. They saw what was presented and believed what they saw.

We forget that this glimpse into other people’s lives is like the trailer for a film. They show all the best bits. Remember, everyone has to clean the toilet and empty the bins.

FOMO Leads to Financial Problems

FOMO is also damaging because it leads to impulsive financial decisions. You see someone else doing something and you think, “I need to do that too.” This can lead to financial problems as you spend money on things you don’t really need.

You think that if you buy the new shiny thing, you’ll feel the way that you think they feel. And when you don’t, you look for the next shiny thing.

And this is without the stalking that companies do on social media. You only have to google a product, or even talk about it, and an advert for the product comes up on your social feed reinforcing the idea that you have to have it because everyone else has it.

Everyone gets dissatisfied with their life at times and it’s good to remember that one minute your partner isn’t good enough for you, you wish you could send your children back where they came from and your home needs updating. And the next minute, you might have the best partner, your children are fabulous and your home is warm and wonderful.

What’s the variable? Your thoughts. If you think that your life is great, it is but, guess what? If you think that your life is shit, that feels real to you too. We are always experiencing thought at the moment so you will feel what you think.

So next time that you have feelings of envy, jealousy, and dissatisfaction, remember what you like about your life and your feeling really will shift. Living in your own thoughts about what someone else is doing can stop you from living your own life moment to moment — and that really is missing out.