Why Female Leaders Need to Get a Cleaner. And a Gardener.

The Monday Morning Manager Series #17

This is #17 of The Monday Morning Manager Series for new leaders. Check out the rest of the series plus the archives here.

As a leader, you are all things to all people. Outstanding at the technical parts of your job, a coach, a trainer, and an inspiring boss. Extra hours, stressful meetings, and deadlines are all part of the deal.

It can be especially hard for female leaders as a second shift awaits at home. Women with small children who need supervision for dinner, bath, and homework are even more stretched.

I’m not implying that men avoid doing their share, but research shows that women still do more childcare and housework than their male partners.

In a sponsored study by Westpac, 90% of women do more housework than men.

“Only 10 percent of couples who both worked full time went fifty-fifty on the housework and just seven percent of couples who worked the same number of hours did equal unpaid work.” — 90 pct of women do more housework than men — survey, Tom McRae, www.newshub.co.NZ

In my experience, men’ help’ women with the housework, and it’s still up to the woman to point out what needs doing. Men also don’t see dirt, washing up, or weeds and the dirty bench driving you crazy isn’t even on your partner’s radar.

Again, this is my experience, and I’m aware there are exceptions. An operations manager I worked with used cleaning to relax. He was horrified I only pulled out the free-standing oven every six months to clean behind it. His kitchen was immaculate.

“There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.” — Quentin Crisp.

My point is that overall, women tend to do more of the household tasks. Having a leadership role at work as well can break you, so get some help.

Be like Denise

I take inspiration from Denise Duffield-Thomas, an entrepreneur who’s made millions with her Money Mindset Bootcamp and her books Get Rich Lucky Bitch and Chillpreneur.

Duffield-Thomas outsources all of her household tasks because she doesn’t enjoy them like many of us.

She has a cleaner, a gardener, someone to walk the dogs, and a food delivery service, so she doesn’t have to cook. In her podcasts, Denise talks about her mother boasting to her friends that ‘Denise doesn’t do anything.

“I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is, no comparison, and yet after hunting, we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened.” — Nancy Mitford.

Most of us aren’t millionaires and can’t afford that level of support but if you can afford a cleaner, however infrequently, go for it.

Male leaders and entrepreneurs frequently talk about delegation, but Duffield-Thomas says they rarely talk about delegating the home tasks. Because they’ve already delegated them. To their wife.

Cleaning, gardening and DIY

Housework is not my favorite activity. I even wrote a poem about it.

I’ve paid cleaners and gardeners on and off over the years. In the UK and NZ, when my ex-husband and I had management jobs, we had both.

As a single mum, I hired a lawn mowing guy because cutting the grass is weather dependent and cleaning isn’t — I couldn’t afford both.

“I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.” — Phyllis Diller.

I also paid many handymen, and yes, they were all men. My ideas of learning home repair skills were soon crushed. I hated doing the jobs, bodged them, and got frustrated and upset. It was easier to save up the small jobs that needed doing and pay someone.

For me, paying for help around the house when I can afford it makes my life easier.

You do you

So if you are getting frazzled managing your home and a leadership role, consider getting whatever support will help you the most.

And yes, of course, the same advice applies to men. However, I’ve found that women are more resistant to paying someone to clean than men.

We can’t all be like Denise, but you can do what suits you and your budget.

“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.” — Joan Rivers.

It’s not only at home that women bear the heaviest burden of housework.

In How to Avoid Doing the Office Housework, I wrote about how women tend to volunteer for committees and spend their energy organizing work outings instead of concentrating on value-added projects that will help their careers.

Check out the article to see if you are doing more than your fair share of the office housework.

I write about leadership & training, and I’ve designed The New Leader’s Starter Kit to help leaders communicate with their teams. Get your free copy here — The New Leader’s Starter Kit takes you through how to run One-to-Ones and Constructive Feedback sessions & develop professional listening skills — a printable one-to-one form, feedback form and listening skills checklist included.