Summary

The author explores the reasons behind her boyfriend's enjoyment of watching TV reruns, contrasting it with her own lack of interest in re-watching shows, and concludes that it serves as a comforting and anxiety-relieving activity for him, rooted in their different upbringings and coping mechanisms.

Abstract

The article delves into the author's curiosity about her boyfriend's preference for re-watching TV shows like Friends, Seinfeld, and Cheers. Despite her own indifference to TV reruns, she gains insight into his behavior through her trauma life coaching certifications. She reflects on their distinct childhood experiences, noting her busy schedule and limited screen time versus his inclusion of television as a regular part of life. The author recognizes that these formative years shaped their adult preferences for coping with stress. She learns that for her boyfriend, and many others, the predictability of reruns provides a sense of comfort and anxiety relief. The article concludes that re-watching TV shows is a benign self-soothing strategy, as long as it is balanced and not taken to harmful extremes.

Opinions

The author initially did not understand her boyfriend's enjoyment of TV reruns, finding it peculiar compared to her own preferences.
She attributes her lack of interest in re-watching shows to her active childhood and the belief that "idle hands are the devil's playthings."
The author's boyfriend finds comfort in the familiarity of reruns, which serves as a stress management technique for him.
The author values trying new things as a source of happiness and comfort, which contrasts with her boyfriend's preference for the predictability of familiar TV shows.
Through her professional training and research, the author acknowledges that re-watching TV shows is a common and relatively harmless method of self-soothing.
She appreciates her partner's healthy coping strategy, which she finds both amusing and effective for managing stress.

Why does my boyfriend watch TV reruns?

I don’t do it, so it confused me as to why he did. I finally figured it out after taking my trauma life coaching certifications.

Relaxing and watching TV feels so good at the end of the day. Photo by Thibault Penin on Unsplash

When I met my boyfriend he was excited about many things in life. One of those things was his love of 3 different TV shows, Friends, Seinfeld, and Cheers. He talks about them with love, the way I would talk about a pet or a person.

I DID NOT GET IT. I like TV as much as the next person but I didn’t watch it much growing up, and whenever I did watch a show, I rarely watched it again. If I did, it was maybe one episode at a time, but never a whole series. Movies I could see re-watching, but not television shows.

I was so curious about the way he genuinely got enjoyment from seeing the same episode he had seen dozens of times before. The way he laughed and related to the characters, and would point out the nuances that I never would have noticed if he hadn’t been there to show me.

It’s fascinating to be around someone like that.

But still, I did not understand the draw. Why watch them again? What was the purpose? Why did it make him so happy?

Two Things Became Apparent

The first thing was, I did not grow up watching TV. I was allowed maybe 30 minutes a day of screen time and even then there would be months at a time where that wasn’t even doable. My parents believed in the adage idle hands are the devil’s playthings and they kept us busy ALL. THE. TIME. If there was a sport, after-school activity, or local event… we were there. There isn’t much time to watch TV if you aren’t home.

The second thing was, I did not find comfort in repeating tasks. I find comfort and happiness by trying new things. Not adventurous things like skydiving or cliff jumping, everyday things will do just fine. Things like finding a new walking trail or taking up painting.

This is the opposite of how he grew up. His childhood and teen years had sitcoms and television as a part of it and while he loves trying new things as well, they are not there to relieve anxiety the way it is for me.

This is one of the reasons why we take comfort in different ways. We were trained as children how to go about our daily lives. They became routines. Habits for a lifetime.

Why Watch Reruns?

I pondered this question during my trauma coaching clinic rotations. I asked clients if they presented with this activity and read articles on repeating tasks and stress management techniques.

The consensus was simple. Re-watching TV shows relieve anxiety because there is no unknown element.

You know exactly what will happen and when, and what the outcome will be. It’s a soothing technique.

We all have ways we soothe ourselves. It’s innate. If we didn’t we would be a mess and couldn’t handle any stress, not even good stress.

Of all the self-soothing strategies there are in the world, re-watching TV shows is more on the benign side. It has the same potential to be harmful if it is done in excess the way any distraction can, but it is not one of the more deadly ones. (like drugs or self-harm or alcohol)

The key is in the balance. If we can stay away from being too caught up in anything, then we are usually in the clear.

I’m glad to have a partner who has a healthy coping strategy for stress. And a funny one at that. Cheers was more comical than I expected it to be.