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Summary

The provided content outlines the author's personal insights into why many relationships fail and offers a solution to strengthen partnerships through continuous effort and clear communication.

Abstract

The website content discusses the personal journey of the author regarding relationship breakdowns observed among friends, family, and personal experiences. The main point emphasizes that moving beyond infatuation is crucial for a lasting partnership. The author reflects on a past breakup which led to a more successful relationship with their current boyfriend after both parties recognized and learned from their mistakes. The text distinguishes infatuation from real love, stressing that infatuation is a passing phase while real love matures with daily commitment to each other. The solution proposed involves creating a 'Relationship Contract'—a written agreement that encourages partners to regularly evaluate and fulfill each other's needs, thereby building a more resilient and fulfilling relationship based on compromise, forgiveness, and mutual growth.

Opinions

  • Infatuation is identified as a temporary phase with intense emotions that is different from the enduring qualities of real love.
  • Relationships are more likely to succeed if both partners are willing to put in the effort daily to nurture a deeper connection.
  • A 'Relationship Contract' can be an effective tool to ensure both parties' needs are met.
  • Regularly scheduled discussions are recommended to openly communicate about the relationship status and address any issues proactively.
  • The author believes that for a relationship to thrive, both partners must actively engage in maintaining the emotional bond through forgiveness and compromise.
  • Partners must be willing to change their habits and become more self-aware regarding their contribution to the partnership.
  • The natural progression of a relationship from passion to routine needs to be managed with continual effort to avoid feelings of dissatisfaction or the desire to seek out new attractions.
  • Breakups can offer valuable lessons and opportunities to rebuild a stronger bond in a subsequent relationship with the same person.
  • Long-term fulfillment in a relationship arises from mutual respect and the fair treatment of one another, rather than momentary emotions.

Why Does Every Other Relationship End

Exploring the Common Threads Behind Relationship Breakdowns

Photo by ADragan on Canva

I’ve seen many relationships fall apart among my coworkers, friends, and family, and I’m guessing some of you have, too.

Why this happens so often? What’s the main reason behind all these problems? Why do we often feel like our relationships aren’t working out?

I was thinking about my past relationships and asked myself why some didn’t work out, including my current relationship with my boyfriend, which didn’t work before our breakup.

We broke up four years ago but got back together after four and a half months apart. During that time, we both realized the mistakes we made in our relationship.

I am thankful for this breakup because I learned what we were doing wrong.

For the last four years, we have created the most beautiful and harmonious relationship we have ever dreamed about.

I found that these things occur in many relationships and breakups; however, I am not talking about relationships with extreme alcoholics, drug users, or bullies.

Hence, the reason, from my point of view, is very simple.

If you’ve lost relationships in the past or you are losing a relationship now, it’s important to understand the difference between infatuation and a love relationship.

Photo by Xesai on Canva

“Love is a garden that requires constant attention. Neglect the weeds, and they may strangle the blossoms of connection.”

Many people confuse these two terms, thinking that being in love is all it takes to make a relationship work, even if it’s not a good one. However, these terms have different meanings.

Falling in love is a strong, hormonal storm that can make us feel irrational and carefree.

During this time, we tend to overlook any flaws or shortcomings in our new partner and instead focus on their positive qualities. Infatuation is not the same as experiencing real love.

When that initial infatuation fades away, that’s exactly when you form a particular habit with this person.

It means that you already need the person in your life. You move into a real love relationship when you get used to this person.

Unfortunately, this is where the hard work begins. It is the border where at least 1/3 of relationships fall apart.

When you spend a lot of time with someone, it can become a regular thing. Over time, that person can become familiar and a part of your life.

Slowly, the habit of being with that person becomes a stereotype. Now, it’s about how people react to it.

“Breakups are like a storm — they may shake your foundation, but remember, it’s an opportunity to rebuild a stronger, more resilient structure.”

Many people break up with that person and find someone who awakens passion and attraction in them, and the explosion of those emotions, and they think that things will be different with that person.

After that, you again reach the point of a loving relationship, where you need to be with that person, and at the same time, you notice that it is slowly becoming a stereotype.

It’s not about the change that flows through life so that you keep changing those people so that when your rose-colored glasses fall off, you look for someone better again.

Maintaining and deepening a relationship is about daily efforts to change something that becomes more and more habitual daily.

When you love someone, it means taking care of them every day, communicating with them, and admitting when you make mistakes. Forgiveness, compromise, and fairness are key to a long-term relationship.

One way to strengthen your relationship is to create a “Relationship Contract” where you both share your needs and desires and work together to fulfill them like my boyfriend, and I did after we got back together.

Photo by welcomia on Canva

We created a “Relationship Contract” together and wrote down all the needs we wanted to meet.

We checked and went through this contract every other week and later every month, where we had a space to discuss if we were missing something in our relationship, and we shared that together.

We were so careful that we would not lose each other again. And it worked perfectly for us.

Finding solutions that work for both parties is important. It means compromising and putting aside some of your interests to create a fair and successful partnership.

However, it’s important to recognize that maintaining a fulfilling long-term relationship requires effort. Building something valuable takes work.

Please share your relationship experiences and what you have learned from them in the comments.

Relationships
Relationship Breakup
Relationship Building
Relationship Advice
Love
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