Why Do Women Judge Each Other’s Bodies So Critically?

Summary

The article discusses the societal issue of women critically judging each other's bodies and the need for more meaningful conversations about women beyond physical appearances.

Abstract

The article delves into the pervasive problem of women harshly criticizing each other's bodies, often focusing on their size or perceived plastic surgery. It highlights this issue through examples of public figures like Lizzo and the Kardashians, who frequently face scrutiny for their bodies. The author reflects on personal experiences, including conversations with friends that quickly turned to body shaming, and emphasizes the importance of women supporting each other rather than tearing each other down. The piece calls for a shift in narrative, encouraging women to engage in discussions that celebrate their multidimensional achievements and experiences rather than their physical attributes. It suggests that by doing so, women can foster a sense of camaraderie and collective strength, which is especially needed in times of isolation, such as during quarantine.

Opinions

The author expresses dismay at the ease with which women, including herself and her friend, can engage in body shaming.
There is a critical view of social media platforms like Twitter, which are seen as breeding grounds for hate and negative commentary on women's bodies.
The article points out a double standard where women are expected to conform to conflicting societal expectations regarding their appearance and attire.
It is suggested that women's discussions should focus on their accomplishments and experiences rather than their bodies.
The author believes that women should act as allies to one another, which could lead to breaking down societal barriers and glass ceilings.
The piece emphasizes the impact of words and the importance of leading by example to educate others on respectful treatment of women.
There is a call to action for social media users to spread positivity by complimenting others, reinforcing the idea that every individual is incredible in their own right.

It’s time to change our narrative with one another

Last week I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and in the span of five minutes, she had sent me pictures of two different female celebrities. The first one she labeled a fatty and the second one came with a she’s too plastic remark. I stared at my phone in disbelief and found myself questioning how our conversation got there.

Within five minutes we had managed to disparage two women neither of us had ever met — and somehow, because it was in the confines of our text exchange, it made it okay. But is it okay?

Why do we find ourselves picking apart women’s bodies piece by piece?

Take, for example, Lizzo. Lizzo is an incredibly talented singer, rapper, songwriter, and actress. Yet I often find myself in conversations that tend to revolve around her figure.

Twitter, (which is just a cesspool of hate), is often revolted by her choice to wear revealing clothes because as women we are either fu**able or not fu**able, and that usually dictates how much skin people are willing to look at.

On the other hand, the Kardashians, who have built an empire from their social media fame, are criticized for selling a false narrative and are often the center of many plastic surgery memes on social media.

Which begs me to ask the question: where do we draw the line? Can we have meaningful conversations about women that don’t revolve around what they look like?

There are many reasons I find myself revolted by these types of conversations.

I grew up with three sisters. Which usually meant I got to see them deal with sexism and misogyny on a daily basis. I also watched them break barriers through tears, late nights, and perseverance. Their rise to the top is far more exciting to discuss than what they chose to wear at last night’s dinner. Because as women, we are multidimensional, and like that old saying goes “don’t judge a book by its cover.”(George Eliot)

Yet we so often do.

It makes me sad to see women disparage each other.

As a woman, I feel a level of camaraderie with other women. Whether we like it or not, as women we have shared experiences, so to watch the lack of support amongst each other breaks my heart. I want to know when the world tells me I’m not enough, that I’ll always have the secret support of my female comrades. Call me crazy, but when we see each other as allies and not enemies, we’ll be able to shatter every glass ceiling imaginable.

“But you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” (Ms. Norbury, Mean Girls)

I think this quote in itself is fairly self-explanatory. I hesitate to put the responsibility on women to educate men on how we should be treated, but I also am aware that men won’t learn unless we lead by example.

We tend to judge women’s bodies whilst also expecting them to abide by certain rules that all boil down to one thing: you want to be conservative yet not too conservative. Trying to fit into what is expected of us can be tiring, and frankly, it’s exhausting looking at myself in the mirror every morning and wondering: what message is my outfit sending today?

Can we just allow each other to just be-however we choose to be?

If you’re on social media today, take a moment to compliment someone, man or woman. Because as we all battle quarantines and social distancing, it can be pretty isolating and heartbreaking to be alone — it would be nice to know someone out there, somewhere, is looking at your post and thinking, “Wow she’s so incredible.”