Why Do We Feel The Need to Spot Every Error and Win Every Argument?
A friend called me a Grammar Nazi because I corrected him so much…
I spent 20 minutes talking to a friend about how he was wrong about where he put the cup when none of us could find it.
20 minutes following finding the cup, we talked about who was lying and who was right.
Unsurprisingly, it was followed by feelings of regret, wasting time on something so nimble. But the truth is, it happens almost every day in our lives.
Pointing the finger at someone and blatantly saying, “You are wrong!” is something we all have done.
So I got to thinking, why are we so obsessive over winning, even if it is something so insignificant and meaningless?
Keep your magnifying glass in your own pocket
If you are like me, you also show up in arguments unneeded.
Personally, I’d give you the pass if you were Sherlock Holmes but odds tell me there is a 0% chance that is the case.
Yes, everyone has their genius moments, but let’s be honest, none of us has an IQ of 190 and a fat-sized ego that deserves to go with it.
If you had a 190 IQ, I would gladly give you a pass.
Don’t get me wrong I love Sherlock Holmes.
Nonetheless, sometimes it is better to keep your magnifying glass in your own pocket.
It becomes annoying if you drop in every argument.
Not every broken line needs fixing — there is no need to examine every statement with a slaving need to find errors just so you have something to say!
“You just want attention”
Charlie Puth got it right, we do just want attention.
The most useless arguments will have to draw an eventual winner, why? So we can bask in the glory of the 4 seconds we get in the spotlight.
This is cheap gratification or cheap attention, no doubt about that.
Words are sugarcoated and statements are toned in a way to elicit a response. When the response doesn’t come, you’ve won.
The other person might not talk to you, but who cares when you can do your best impression of a Tyson Fury walkout.
Like a wise man once said, “Grab free stuff whenever you can” we tend to jump in every error — correct it, and get our free attention whenever we can!
Look in the mirror to see a billionaire
Another reason is, if time is money, chances are you are a billionaire. You might just have a lot.
When I have nothing to do, I think, why not correct someone. At least someone will feel my presence in their day.
(It’s sad isn’t it LOL)
Shut that trap every once in a while
I feel like one thing I am not is a talker.
I don’t like it for some reason, to be honest. It is also, for this reason, I will try to get everyone to become a listener.
Insanity is not insane if everyone is doing it.
Anyway, I feel like people who talk a lot, love, to jump in to find errors.
Before I tell everyone to do their laundry, let me show you my dirty clothes as well.
I was called a Grammar Nazi once because I corrected a friend every time he said something wrong. At a point, he went, “Please shut up!” in a nice way.
If you love to talk, you will continue to do so regardless of whether or not you have something meaningful to say.
It is better to listen every once in a while. I now listen way more than I talk. It just feels easier.
Another exercise I tend to do is hold onto a point even when I know it can win me the argument or prove the other person wrong just to see how long I can go without it.
As an old saying goes, “There is a reason you have two ears and one mouth.”
Listen more than you speak and you will have so much more to say
One of life’s great ironies.
The universal law seems to be, delay gratification to seek the ultimate one.
Turns out we revolve around irony; not the Sun.
The cavalry has arrived!
If an argument does not conclude in the first 10 minutes, chances are everyone is now screaming at the other.
It is not an argument anymore but rather a barrage of personal attacks.
It fascinates me when this happens. I have seen it so many times. You can virtually see the line being crossed, but, who cares? You have to win now that you have come so far.
F*ck winning the argument, you just want to leave the room happier of the two! LOL.
See, everyone is a winner until the real winner arrives. The ‘throw petrol on the fire’ one.
I mean come on, who doesn’t like watching two people screaming at each other over something that has nothing to do about them.
At a point, I might as well make some popcorn.
Sadly, I am one of the two crazies screaming.
At this point, it is just screaming. The person who stops screaming loses. But I guess you have to learn to take the loss then.
Trust me, it is worth it. Save your sanity.
Spending 3 days with me will tell you it is, don’t let me fool you though, it isn’t.
Takeaway
Delaying gratification is always better than cheap gratification — always.
Arguments and errors happen often but you don’t HAVE to win them or correct them just because you can.
Not only is it rude, it is pretty sad too considering we are willing to do so much just to prove a point. This coming from someone who probably has a Ph.D. in it.
While some arguments are genuinely beneficial, most are useless. It comes in handy being able to separate the two and ignore the ones that deserve to be ignored.
LIKE TALKING ABOUT A CUP FOR 20 MINUTES!!
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