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Abstract

with then boyfriend Ray J. Now, she has psycho hubby Kanye West to keep her front and center in the tabloids.Maybe us everyday folk care about celebrities and follow their every move because they appear to have “made it.” And isn’t that something we all aspire to? To be successful in our careers? Live in beautiful homes? Ooze sex appeal? Hell yeah. But let’s get real. “Having it all” is a stretch for most of us. Good health and some money in the bank are no small compromise, I’d say.I’m not so jaded that I can’t say reading about Nicolas Cage On TMZ “fighting with wife hours after wedding” isn’t good, clean fun. But so is workplace gossip. Maybe more so, because we actually know these people. Isn’t it a kick to find out that the head of Human Resources was caught en flagrante delicto with the new hire in the lettershop? Or that your supervisor is a paper cutter?Maybe that’s the key: “Fun.” We all need more of that, now, more than ever before, thanks to the tangerine-hued Apprentice to the Presidency. So, let’s have fun with our celebrities! Let’s think of them as people, just like us, who have morning breath, thinning hair, cellulite, zits, “cankles,” and all the endearing flaws that make us human.Look — George Clooney farts. He’s undeniably handsome and charming. But the man breaks wind, like everyone else.When no one is looking, I’ll bet J-Lo, so gorgeous she looks like she was dunked in a honey pot, picks her nose. Just like regular folk.It’s been said that “showering” is a four- letter word to Johnny Depp. He gets stinky, in other words. Anyone who runs a 5k in blistering heat will stink, too.Cameron Diaz wears the same clothes for days in a row. Just like me, now that I’m unemployed.Jessica Simpson rarely brushes her teeth. Ok…ugh.I hope the above gave you a giggle because my point is: It’s perfectly fine to follow your favorite celebrities, check in now and then to see how they’re doing, what they’re eating and what their latest projects are. But don’t be obsessive about it. That’s when things get weird.Better to direct some of that attention elsewhere, like to an elderly neighbor who lives alone and needs an assist once in a while, or a family member who you haven’t calle

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d in months, or even, the guy on the other side of your cube who never gets asked to lunch. It’s pretty wondrous how a friendly greeting can transform someone’s day.<figure id="30b9"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*0Kv5tKXP2WFRtdiRdXcCRQ.jpeg"><figcaption>Uncredited/Unsplash</figcaption></figure>We’re so fractured now. We can spill our guts to 500 friends on Facebook, but. having a one on one conversation with someone is a struggle. This is something we all need to work on, or we’re going to miss out on our own lives. I’ll be thinking a lot about this as I stumble my way through the holiday season, and beyond.Maybe, at the end of the day, we’re all celebrities in our own right. The late, great Marlon Brando said, “Acting, in general, is something most people think they’re incapable of, but they do it from morning to night. The subtlest acting I’ve ever seen is by ordinary people trying to show they feel something they don’t, or trying to hide something. It’s something everyone learns at an early age.”I’ll finish with a confession. I, too, harbor a fondness for my favorite actors, writers and musicians, but currently, there are two women, call them “celebrities” certainly, who are so unique in their world views that I have become a devoted follower of both.The writer Gillian Flynn is one of those recipients of my attention. As a screenwriter, my “niche” (since, apparently, we writers need to define ours), is fucked-up women who outwardly, appear to have it together, but in reality, are psychological wrecks. This is what Flynn excels at and I could learn much from her. I’ve read her Gone Girl and other works, but after devouring Sharp Objects, my only response was “WHOA.”As for New York Time op-ed columnist, Maureen Dowd, now there’s a woman I’d love to throw down with. Any day of the week. If you read her, you get it.As for the V-steam? Sorry Gwyneth. NO. WAY. IN. HELL.Sherry McGuinn is a longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.</article></body>

Why Should We Care That Gwyneth Paltrow Steams Her Vagina?

Chrissy Teigen has a new cookbook out. Big whoop. Alicia Keys no longer wears makeup. Bully for her. Brangelina is kaput. Boo the fuck hoo. And yes, Gwyneth Paltrow is a proponent of having steaming hot water vapor piped up her vajayjay, for its “healing qualities.”

What is it with our adulation of celebrities? Why care what these narcissists wear? Eat? Feed their equally spoiled spawn? And how does it enrich us, as human beings to know who the anointed among us are having sex with? Or where they vacation?

For the most part, I can’t see paying serious attention to these people other than to enlist them as time wasters while sitting in the doctor’s office thumbing through ancient, bedraggled copies of US Weekly.

This is not some sort of reverse snobbery on my part. I just can’t relate to people who have the financial resources to enjoy the best of everything while so many people are struggling, myself included. Sure, they work for it — some of them, anyway. And yes, many celebrities eschew the term, itself, and all that the word implies. Tom Hanks, for example. A true mensch, from all reports. Harrison Ford. Jennifer Anniston. The awesome Meryl Streep. And I don’t mean to reference actors, only. These are merely a handful of celebrated individuals who prefer to just quietly, get on with it. Without a lot of fanfare and a minimum of selfies.

And then we have the Kardashians. I hesitate to get started on this crew because the ground here is so verdant for verbal stabs. Kim, Khloe and Kourtney especially, are famous for doing nada, other than for being really, really, wealthy. Disgustingly so. Otherwise, how could they afford the multiple and ongoing cosmetic surgeries that do nothing so much as make the ladies appear mummified? Kim, especially.

Speaking of Kim, her celebrity really took off in 2003 after the leak of a video documenting her sexcapades with then boyfriend Ray J. Now, she has psycho hubby Kanye West to keep her front and center in the tabloids.

Maybe us everyday folk care about celebrities and follow their every move because they appear to have “made it.” And isn’t that something we all aspire to? To be successful in our careers? Live in beautiful homes? Ooze sex appeal? Hell yeah. But let’s get real. “Having it all” is a stretch for most of us. Good health and some money in the bank are no small compromise, I’d say.

I’m not so jaded that I can’t say reading about Nicolas Cage On TMZ “fighting with wife hours after wedding” isn’t good, clean fun. But so is workplace gossip. Maybe more so, because we actually know these people. Isn’t it a kick to find out that the head of Human Resources was caught en flagrante delicto with the new hire in the lettershop? Or that your supervisor is a paper cutter?

Maybe that’s the key: “Fun.” We all need more of that, now, more than ever before, thanks to the tangerine-hued Apprentice to the Presidency. So, let’s have fun with our celebrities! Let’s think of them as people, just like us, who have morning breath, thinning hair, cellulite, zits, “cankles,” and all the endearing flaws that make us human.

Look — George Clooney farts. He’s undeniably handsome and charming. But the man breaks wind, like everyone else.

When no one is looking, I’ll bet J-Lo, so gorgeous she looks like she was dunked in a honey pot, picks her nose. Just like regular folk.

It’s been said that “showering” is a four- letter word to Johnny Depp. He gets stinky, in other words. Anyone who runs a 5k in blistering heat will stink, too.

Cameron Diaz wears the same clothes for days in a row. Just like me, now that I’m unemployed.

Jessica Simpson rarely brushes her teeth. Ok…ugh.

I hope the above gave you a giggle because my point is: It’s perfectly fine to follow your favorite celebrities, check in now and then to see how they’re doing, what they’re eating and what their latest projects are. But don’t be obsessive about it. That’s when things get weird.

Better to direct some of that attention elsewhere, like to an elderly neighbor who lives alone and needs an assist once in a while, or a family member who you haven’t called in months, or even, the guy on the other side of your cube who never gets asked to lunch. It’s pretty wondrous how a friendly greeting can transform someone’s day.

We’re so fractured now. We can spill our guts to 500 friends on Facebook, but. having a one on one conversation with someone is a struggle. This is something we all need to work on, or we’re going to miss out on our own lives. I’ll be thinking a lot about this as I stumble my way through the holiday season, and beyond.

Maybe, at the end of the day, we’re all celebrities in our own right. The late, great Marlon Brando said, “Acting, in general, is something most people think they’re incapable of, but they do it from morning to night. The subtlest acting I’ve ever seen is by ordinary people trying to show they feel something they don’t, or trying to hide something. It’s something everyone learns at an early age.”

I’ll finish with a confession. I, too, harbor a fondness for my favorite actors, writers and musicians, but currently, there are two women, call them “celebrities” certainly, who are so unique in their world views that I have become a devoted follower of both.

The writer Gillian Flynn is one of those recipients of my attention. As a screenwriter, my “niche” (since, apparently, we writers need to define ours), is fucked-up women who outwardly, appear to have it together, but in reality, are psychological wrecks. This is what Flynn excels at and I could learn much from her. I’ve read her Gone Girl and other works, but after devouring Sharp Objects, my only response was “WHOA.”

As for New York Time op-ed columnist, Maureen Dowd, now there’s a woman I’d love to throw down with. Any day of the week. If you read her, you get it.

As for the V-steam? Sorry Gwyneth. NO. WAY. IN. HELL.

Sherry McGuinn is a longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.