OPINION | SOCIAL MEDIA | NON FICTION
Why Do People Hate-Stalk on Social Media?
This article is inspired by an Instagram Reel (video) in which the content creator lamented the fact that when she posted a photo or a video, not many people seemed to like it even though it had many views. She came to the conclusion that not many people liked her, but they were stalking her. So, why do some people hate-stalk on social media?
In my humble opinion, the most obvious answer is jealousy. Some people just love to be haters, but it is so obvious that they are secretly jealous of those they hate. Instead of admiring someone for their success in life, some people would rather resent them for having all the cool stuff they secretly want for themselves.
If we are being totally honest, many of us secretly wish we could live the lives of influencers even though we act like they are all vapid and shallow. Just imagine being sponsored by brands. You wouldn’t even have to do much to earn money. You could simply do so by taking photos and videos of yourself while doing product reviews. Sometimes, you don’t even have to be in the photos; just taking a photo of the product will do. Contrary to popular belief, selfie queens (and kings) are not the only influencers on social media. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that, either. As the saying goes, if you’ve got it, then flaunt it. Also, if you are into traveling, many influencers get to travel for free in exchange for just a few pictures and videos. Meanwhile, what do we do in our free time? We hate-stalk influencers on Instagram.
I’m not exactly what you’d call a social media influencer because my following is extremely tiny compared to actual influencers. Some of you might even have more followers than I do. Having said that, I have to admit that I have done quite a few sponsored posts on Instagram before the pandemic (before I became a homebody and actually loving it!). I’m pretty selective though as I only work with brands I genuinely like. Some of the items/services I’ve promoted are things I’ve been using way before we even teamed up in collaborations. If you don’t believe me, you can hop into a time travel machine back to the past and search my house. But wait, you can’t do that. The point is, I can’t prove anything to anyone nor do I want to. Nor do I care (okay, maybe I do since I’m writing this). Anyway, haters gonna hate.
I know that some people are not exactly thrilled when they see sponsored posts on my Instagram feed/story. You’d think they would hit the “unfollow” button, but no, they continue stalking me. And how do I know this? Well, sadly some of them are people I know in real life. They don’t engage or support my posts, but I’d catch wind of them chatting behind my back. So, it looks like they still scroll through my social media but intentionally avoid that “like” button just to mess up the engagement rate (think of it like the read ratio on Medium). And that brings me back to the issue of hate-stalking due to jealousy, which is ironic because I don’t even earn much due to my small following. I’m sure some of my more popular Medium writer friends have encountered this issue right here on this platform.
Besides that, I think some people secretly hope that the lives of the people they hate-stalk turn into a total disaster. They get a sense of joy from watching other people suffer. It’s seriously messed up. This twisted mindset actually makes them feel better about themselves when they see others going through tough times, especially if they don’t like them. These people often drop mean or low-key nasty comments on the posts of people they hate-stalk. I’ve seen this happen on Medium too, but I have not experienced it personally. I am not popular enough to have haters. Not yet, at least. I suppose my next writing goal is to attract some haters on Medium. That would be a sign that I’ve made it!
You might be wondering, why don’t these people just unfollow if they can’t stand the person? Well, the answer is, they won’t, because this is how they get their kicks. Sadly, social media has caused an increase in cyberbullying cases. I have also heard of people hate-stalking their exes and being over the moon when their ex posts gloomy stuff on their social media. Nothing brings as much joy into their lives as knowing that their ex is on the verge of depression. Serves them right for not wanting to stay in the relationship!
Hate-stalking can also provide fodder for gossip to those whose favourite hobby is talking trash about someone else. Where else are they going to get their juicy tidbits if they don’t hate-stalk? They never actually talk to the person they are hating on, but they pull some pretty ridiculous stuff, like taking screenshots of unflattering pictures to share with mutual friends, or capturing their coworkers’ rants about work to show the boss (yup, this happened to me). Hate-stalking is essentially like a drug to them, and they end up spending hours doing it obsessively, hoping to find something to use against someone else’s weaknesses. I’ve witnessed some of these ugly incidents on Medium as well, where writers basically attacked each other due to a disagreement or misunderstanding.
And finally, sometimes people pretend to hate-stalk others because deep down, they secretly like or even admire the people they are pretending to despise. The reason is that it might not be cool or socially acceptable to admit that you actually like the person. For example, it could be a super controversial public figure, their best friend’s ex, or a secret crush (or a secret crush who is their best friend’s ex and happens to be a super controversial public figure). So they play it off like they can’t stand them and say it loud and clear to anyone who listens while at the same time, scrolling through their social media for updates. This is really weird, as they might even pretend to gossip about the person with fellow gossipers who hate-stalk, but in actual fact, they simply want to talk about them. Anyone who has ever had an obsessive crush on someone unavailable will know what this feels like. I am not confessing to anything here!
Now, over to you. Have you ever hate-stalked someone on social media or even on Medium? (Hah! I bet you’d say no). Do you know anyone who does it? Have you encountered a hate-stalker before? What is your opinion on hate-stalking? See you in the comments.
Tagging Gerald Washington, Yana Bostongirl and Tannille ⭐️ — We had a discussion about this a few weeks ago.
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