Why do I want to do a PhD?

I am going to do a PhD. I mean, I am applying to a PhD and hope to get the funding to do it.

A PhD is a big commitment both in time and energy. In Europe, PhDs last three years while in the US and Singapore (where I apply) they last four years. If you have a child at the start of this odyssey, then it will be able to walk, speak or even ride a tricycle when you defend your thesis. Yes, children grow up very fast!

A PhD is not a time to chill. Most PhD students I know are constantly busy, either digging into the scientific literature, setting up a new experiment or cleaning up an old one. Further, coming up with original ideas is often a huge effort for the brain. It’s hard to design a new experiment, code a new model or write a novel policy advice. There are dark stories of PhD students burning out or giving up under the pressure of their adviser. Some people are not ready to freely and independently carry a project. They need somebody to provide constant assistance and guidelines. Supervisors rarely have the time to do that.

Although I am conscious of all these obstacles I still want to do a PhD. I still want to sweat tears and blood to achieve this challenge. Why?

I don’t have any big passion. I used to play chess when I was in high school. At the time, I really wanted to become a chess Grand-master but even after a consistent training and various competitions I was still average. After starting university, I just stopped to play. My new goal then was to become independent of my parents, so I got two part-time jobs to pay the bills and save money for travelling.

Travelling is probably the closest thing I consider as a passion. I saved money to study my last undergrad year in Mexico. Then I interned in Vietnam, Canada, and went to study in Germany.

I love to travel because I am curious. Curious about the people’s way of life, curious about their languages and way of thinking. This curiosity is definitely a reason why I want to do PhD. I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. I want to explore new fields and dig deep into them. I want to discover new words, new designs and new ways of interpreting the complex systems which are making life such a unique experience.

I am an explorer of life and I want to explore the knowledge created by human beings over time. I often feel that I am like the Little Prince from Saint-Exupery. I am listening to people and looking at their actions without judgement.

A scientist in any field is a spectator looking at its surroundings without judging it or changing it. Some elements of the world are hidden so scientists have to create experimental design to discover them. Then scientists write their discovery on a paper, pass it to their neighbors who might try to improve the world. Researchers are like this, passive observers pointing at the flaws of the system. I like this role and definitely recognize me in it.

As I get older, I may take a more active role and solve the problem myself, but for now I still lack of confidence and experience to take the lead and change society. I need more skills and knowledge to become a legitimate policy-maker. Moreover, I am still young and have a fresh brain. A brain full of creativity, able to come up with innovative research questions and scientific theories.

I chose the scientific path, however I always thought that I was more fit for an artistic or literary career. As a high schooler, I used to write poems and short stories. I still write, but now I share my essays and opinions on a blog. I guess enjoying writing is a prerequisite for a PhD. It’s important to have good story-telling skills to publish scientific papers and write the ultimate thesis. One must enjoy the process of writing and come up with good narratives. Doing a PhD is a chance to improve my craft and make my writing both more professional and more enjoyable.

A PhD is also a great opportunity to grow as a person. I could grow up anywhere else you would say. Not really. A person evolves according to its surrounding and the people it interacts with. Being part of a research lab surrounded by self-confident academics full of knowledge is definitely a great environment full of inspiration for a twenty something like me. Since I am aspiring to become a knowledgeable polymath, the academic world is the only place where I can become who I want to be.

My last and most important motivation is my superhero complex. I said earlier that I wanted to be a scientist to observe the world and write report without directly acting on problems. This is true, however, I feel that I can help build a better world by researching flaws and directing policy-makers toward sound solutions. When I look at the world now, I feel deeply depressed. Climate change, loss of biodiversity, large scale pollution, over-consumption, a broken economic system, widening inequalities, one billion undernourished, two billion overweight… We live in a threatening world of excess and I want to change this. I want to influence the present to build a sustainable common future.

During my study, I had the chance to join various international conferences on environmental policy and forest management. I realized that we have all the technical knowledge about how unhealthy is our planet, but we don’t have the good arguments to convince policy makers to change the system. We need interdisciplinary experts able to tell good narratives based on sound data to create a shift in policies and people behavior. I want to be this mediator between disciplines.

Since I am bi-national French and Vietnamese, I also want to create strong cooperation between the European Union and the Association of Southeast Asian Nations especially in environmental policies. Southeast Asia really need a good environmental governance. A lot is at stake in this high populated and diversity rich region of the world.

To summarize everything in few words, I want to do a PhD to learn how to make a better world.