Why Can’t You Ever Get a Straight Answer on Cross-Country Ski Wax?
Just tell me what to buy and I’ll buy it, there’s nothing complicated about this…
I had a weird experience at the Birkie Expo yesterday. I went in to buy a block of wax since the Birkie has banned the use of fluorinated ski wax (click here and scroll down to ‘Wax Policy & Services’ for more information). I’m a little out of the loop so I thought I’d ask around to see what people are recommending.
I don’t particularly like the idea of skiing the Birkie on some wax I’ve never used before, so I thought I’d get a block of Start Green. I remember when Start Green originally came out and we all thought it was a miracle. It was the only thing that got good glide on cold snow, and I’m not convinced anyone has yet developed anything better.
Now, some athletes will get frustrated and say, “Start Green is not a race wax!” But that’s all relative. Sure, you’re not going to slap it on your skis if you’re after a Gold medal. However, all I want is something that’s durable and will give me decent glide so I can survive the Birkie.
Little did I know how difficult it would be to achieve my simple objective.
The Birkie Expo
I love the camaraderie and enthusiasm for life you find among cross-country skiers. However, if there’s one thing that makes me frustrated, it’s how the industry works sometimes.
With almost anything related to cross-country skiing, you’ll find one person who is the anointed expert surrounded by five people who aren’t allowed to speak.
It’s the anointed expert’s job to listen to anything you have to say and then tell you why you’re wrong.
The only way you’re going to get any good information is if you corner one of the people who is not allowed to speak and try to get their opinion.
But that way, too, is fraught with perils…
I don’t know anything about ski wax
I walked up to a booth with the intent of getting some Start Green and I approached a guy who was sitting there doing nothing.
“What’s the wax of the day?” I asked.
“Sorry, I don’t know anything about ski wax,” he said.
Thinking about it later, I began to wonder why he was even there. Presumably he was earning money. I suppose he must have carried boxes from the car to the booth. Couldn’t he have put some price tags on the boxes and, you know, allowed customers to purchase things?
But then the guy in charge showed up and I realized what was going on. It wouldn’t have mattered which booth I went to, it’s always the same. The guy in charge is the only one who is allowed to say or do anything.
He was kind of a bundle of energy, and I suppose that was fair enough since it’s the Birkie and all, but not all motion is progress. He seemed clearly knowledgeable but perhaps the booth hadn’t found its stride yet.
Because he was the only one to talk, the expert got caught jumping back and forth between about 7 different conversations.
Honestly, I found it kind of frustrating. I mean, I just wanted a block of Start Green. You’re going to have a bit of chaos whenever there is such a mass of people, so hopefully it got better later.
Why the QR code is a bad idea
I asked the guy in charge what the wax of the day was. He said I had to get out my telephone and scan his QR code.
“I don’t know what that is,” I said.
“It’s this thing right over here.”
“Can’t you just tell me what the wax of the day is?”
“No, this is super easy, get out your phone.”
I got out my phone.
“Okay, now what?”
“Take it to camera and point it at this and it will take you to my wax recommendation.”
I took out my camera, pointed it, and the phone did nothing.
“This is an old phone,” I said.
“Oh, well, maybe you can open up a browser?”
“Can’t you just tell me the wax of the day?”
“Okay, what race are you doing?”
“The Birkebeiner” (duh).
And come to think of it, now that I write all that, he never did tell me his wax recommendation. Who knows? Maybe he didn’t write one.
Fluorinated waxes are banned at the Birkie
The guy showed me a $200 block of wax and said, “This is our HF wax.”
I was confused.
“But you can’t use that because the Birkie banned fluorinated ski wax.”
A silence fell.
I noticed that there were two guys about 10 years older than me standing behind me watching all this take place. That will probably be me in 10 years. I’ll find some young guy to act as a lead blocker when I’m trying to get a simple question answered.
The expert looked at me and said, “You’re not listening to me, this is a non-fluorinated wax.”
I figured out later that apparently the whole ski industry has adopted the practice of using the term “HF wax” to designate their race glide wax even though it’s now non-fluorinated. Any confusion this might cause is assumed to be the fault of the customer.
When I used to work in the ski industry, I used to come across this kind of thinking all the time. Actually, to be fair, my frustration with people zeroing in on exactly the wrong course of action is not limited to the ski industry.
Maybe I’m just turning into an ornery old “get off my yard” kind of grouch.
The missing wax
The expert was about to actually reveal the secret of the wax of the day when he held up a little tube which he claimed cost $100.
“There should be another one of these around here,” he said. Then he started looking around desperately. “Maybe it walked off…” Then he got angry and started berating the guy who had told me earlier he didn’t know anything about wax.
“I told you that you’re supposed to keep an eye on these, they’re worth $100 each!”
I wondered how the guy who knew nothing about wax was expected to know that? The tube wasn’t even marked with a price.
That’s when I noticed a block of Start Green. I was kind of hoping to buy a massive block, but I decided it was time to cut loose and get out of there.
Attempting to pay
I walked over to some guy who was holding a tablet with a cute little attachment which was presumably designed to read credit cards.
“Can I buy this?”
“Sure.”
Then I thought about it and said, “Actually, do you have any graphite?”
“I don’t know…”
So, once again, the guy had to go ask the expert. The expert was busy lecturing somebody else about not knowing that HF wax is now non-fluorinated. “Yes we have graphite,” he said, “but that’s not in my wax recommendation for tomorrow.”
Well, I’d have known that if he’d ever bothered to tell anyone his wax recommendation. Getting information from this guy was like answering riddles from the Sphinx.
The guy with the tablet came back over with the graphite.
“How much is it?” I asked.
Tablet guy turned to expert. “How much is this?”
“31 dollars.”
“Okay sir, that will be 34 dollars.”
“He said 31.”
“Uh…wha…”
“Go double check, but that’s what he said,” I said, thinking that this whole conversation could have been avoided if they’d put price tags on the product that was presumably there to be sold.
“How much is this?”
“31 dollars,” the expert said again. I’m kind of surprised he didn’t direct tablet guy to a QR code.
Tablet guy rang me up and I got out of there with my block of Start Green and Graphite.
This is why I don’t wax much anymore
To be fair, I got the wax I wanted and it all ended well. I’ve been at an Expo booth before and it is a lot of pressure and chaos. I think a few little pieces of constructive criticism would make for a more profitable and less stressful day for everyone.
No hard feelings!
Honestly, I just don’t have the time to wax anymore anyway. Besides, I’m too slow for it to make much of a difference. I’ll throw on some wax and ski without even bothering to scrape and brush.
The thing is, when you do this for a couple years you come to realize that although wax makes a difference, it’s measurable in minutes, not hours.
A fit guy with a bad wax job will do better than a guy with bad fitness and good wax.
I went to another store and got a block of Toko “world cup” non- fluorinated blue. I’ll put on a couple layers of Start Green, then use the blue mixed with a hardener. It’ll be fine.
Maybe wax recommendations are such a big secret because the industry prefers when you go in and pay to have your skis prepared? Maybe they don’t want to let anyone know what they’re putting on?
These days, I’m not all that worried about wax. The dirty little secret is that it’s really not all that complicated. Fluorinated ski wax doesn’t work well in cold weather anyway. Just put something on and enjoy the day. Your skis will be fine.
You’re better off getting a good night’s sleep than staying up all night fretting about your wax. Relax, it’s going to be a good day!
Gook luck Birkie skiers!
Thanks to all Birkie volunteers!
