Why Can’t We Understand Each Other?

A modern day tower of babel in the workplace

“Out of memory and light I weave a dense fabric. I look steadily at it until it comes to life and stares back at me, until it rises up in front of me. It’s time that I want to get hold of, arrange and evaluate. Time is that bright, multi-colored oblivion where joys and sufferings turn into precious beads. Around time’s beads I twist the ivy of my own memories. I don’t want to assess or explain anything. I want to understand. I lay my head against time and listen to what it tells me.” ~Endre Rozsda

Here are some of my thoughts on why we can’t understand each other. Do any of these resonate with you?

We want to get more than we are willing to give.

Shiny objects mean more than contributions.

We’re too busy with less important things that don’t matter much in the end.

We think we know but we don’t understand.

We fit in our own shoes but won’t try on someone else’s.

We want diversity but aren’t open-minded.

Economic security trumps relationships.

Success means me first- not we first

We’re frugal but don’t like cheap people.

We stereotype others but don’t want to be typecast.

We want instant respect but expect others to earn ours.

We want the best people but put a lid on their talents.

We demand trust but are distrustful of others.

We ask forgiveness but aren’t willing to grant it.

We ask for ideas but never seriously consider them.

We want all the credit- even when it doesn’t belong to us.

We require transparency but secrecy is our operating mode.

We fight chaos by adding more chaos.

We try to put out fires with flammable actions and words.

We ignore the “obvious” that others should already know.

We don’t want interrupted yet give the most noise the most attention.

We believe others are incapable of understanding us.

We routinely push buttons randomly when attempting to fix problems but do not permit low risk experimentation by others.

We speak to impress- not to effectively communicate.

We have more answers than questions.

We don’t know the right questions to ask.

We limit ourselves- and try to limit others- to our own experiences.

We act in the wrong way, causing people to fall deep into quicksand.

In 2007, Lee Iaccoca authored a book titled “Where Have All the Leaders Gone?” That’s still a relevant question today. One of his points was that leadership is forged in times of crisis.

Why do you think many workplaces are bursting with misunderstandings? Where do you see the best examples of leadership in your own space? Share your thoughts in the comments about what you hear when you lay your own head against time.

And remember- a job title doesn’t imply a good leader. We all have the potential to be leaders in our workplace. So, what’s everyone waiting for?