Why Can’t Old People Sleep?

It’s not because we aren’t trying

In the literal darkness before the dawn, I prayed to the gods of electricity and turned on the lights. I reluctantly got going.

I’m well into my day now, and it’s just before 6 am.

This is because I woke up at 4 am, and after 30 minutes of wondering whether I should get up and shower, I got up and showered because the alternative was staring down the abyss of my own existence in the darkness.

As a vision of the painting Scream filled my head, I capitulated to beginning my day at the insane hour of 4:30 am.

My sleep began to turn sideways at 51, which feels cliched and deeply ordinary. For Youngs, most men, and people who hate hearing about medical conditions: menopause happens for the average woman in her early 50s. It generally wrecks sleep.

Sleep patterns for women begin shifting in their 40s. They go from seven to eight hours a night — assuming life isn’t stressful or overly busy LOL — to a hellish mishmash of four to six hours interrupted.

Old men don’t sleep great either, but I suspect it’s a more gradual slide into forced wakefulness.

I suspect poor sleep in old age is mostly related to poorer health, although several other theories have been punted into the stratosphere to be kicked around eternally.

1/ Tribal Babies and Watchful Elders

Our lives are deeply intertwined and human existence is much more group-oriented than we realize.

We are in tune with each other in obvious ways, like dance parties, and on deeper levels, moving together like a school of fish or a flock of birds.

At various life stages, our sleep is impacted by our role in the tribe.

Babies sleep forever and must be watched by elders. Teens stay up late and sleep late (ideally), while oldsters go to bed early — it’s not unusual to be asleep by 9:30 for me, and my husband, who is 72, begins winding down around 8:30.

Then we get up freakishly early.

This range of sleep behavior means there is usually someone awake, to watch out for the rest of the herd.

I like this theory because it makes me feel like my sleep is normal.

On the other hand, I don’t get the quality of sleep I used to.

2/ Respect the Chemistry

Women’s sleep in middle age is criminally bad, but as with many medical conditions faced only by women, sleepus interruptus isn’t well-studied or taken very seriously.

The official explanation is that symptoms of menopause, like hot flashes, interfere with sleep. Yes, hot flashes will wake you up and you will be sweaty. This cannot be denied, but it’s not the whole story.

Menopausal women are constantly described as “stressed” because many women around 50 are caregiving teenagers and older parents.

I assert hot flashes are, at most, a minor player. Once I took measures to eliminate them (cut out sugar and a few other foods), I still slept like crap. The story is familiar: bolting awake at 3 am for no apparent reason.

I reduced stress to the lowest possible level and still woke up at 3 am, although I was less likely to worry about it.

It’s pretty obvious the hormones are driving the bus, and we are merely passengers. Something chemical was waking me up, whether cortisol or adrenaline or norepinephrine or snorting lines of cocaine while unconscious.

3/ Thrills, Chills, and Houseguests

Most people don’t sleep as well when they have a lot on their minds, but I find it’s anticipation — particularly of travel or company — that throws a wild-eyed monkey with a wrench into my nights.

Although I awaken in the middle of the night too often, I usually fall back asleep within a half hour. Not so before a big trip.

I typically fall asleep easily but can be up until 2 am prior to traveling or welcoming houseguests.

For this reason, I shall never book a cruise with family. Also, because the idea of a cruise makes my skin crawl.

Are we more worried as we age? I don’t think so.

I believe our bodies are more sensitive to all disturbances, which may explain why we eat dinner at 5 pm.

Why we eat dinner at 5 pm needs a dedicated article, however. It’s a mystery to me. I’m not hungrier but once dinner hour began creeping up, I was powerless to stop it.

4/ Pain

As my husband's father once advised him when he was but a little tyke:

“Life hurts. Get used to it.”

The decades make pain more likely and it can wake us up. Pain is also a source of worry and fretting, which adds fuel to the fire.

This is one area where, at least some of the time, we can intervene. Yoga, swimming, walking, and weights all help circulation, flexibility, and well-being. Even if they make zero difference in pain, at least it feels like we’ve taken action.

Some of us are burdened with chronic pain, such as arthritis or headaches, but I don’t think it’s the “usual” pain that creates sleep problems; rather, intermittent discomfort.

Perfect, deep sleep is curiously sensitive to unusual or unpredictable events. I guess it has to be, since we can only respond to a threat while awake.

Insert Your Theory Here

Lying awake in the middle of the night or tossing and turning while exhausted and trying to fall asleep have something in common.

They create the perfect breeding ground for thinking, theorizing, and speculating.

Bad sleepers puzzle out the answer, and in many cases, we’ve figured out patches for our glitchy software.

Although difficult to fix, I’ve found limiting mental stress is the approach. Of course, that’s tricky — it often requires multiple interventions, including exercise, avoiding problem substances, a new bed, and even heroic measures like talking it over with your spouse.

I also recommend staying the heck away from alcohol, but for many people, perfect sleep takes a backseat to cocktail hour.

Our poor sleep also explains some of the drinking in the twilight years, and the Boomer passion for cannabis.

Want an email heads-up for new articles? Click Me.

Want to join Medium? Click Me.

Jean Campbell is based in Hot Springs, Arkansas. She has been writing on Medium for years. She is on the verge of publishing her first novel, Down and Out on the Road South, with Wings ePress.