avatarBlessing Oluchukwu Awamba

Summary

The article humorously addresses the lack of personal hygiene and consideration among co-workers in a shared office space, particularly in the restroom.

Abstract

The author of the article expresses frustration over the basic restroom etiquette that some co-workers seem to lack, despite being adults. After discovering the simplicity of the office toilet's flushing mechanism, the author is bewildered by the co-workers' failure to maintain cleanliness, such as not flushing properly, leaving messes, and neglecting to clean up after themselves. The article provides a step-by-step guide on proper restroom use, emphasizing the ease of the process and the importance of cleanliness for the well-being of all employees. The author also touches on the broader issue of personal accountability and the impact of individual actions on the workplace environment.

Opinions

  • The author is exasperated by the lack of basic restroom etiquette among adult co-workers.
  • There is a clear sense of irony and sarcasm in the author's tone when discussing the discovery of the simple flushing mechanism.
  • The author believes that the co-workers' neglect in maintaining restroom cleanliness is a deliberate choice rather than ignorance.
  • The article suggests that the co-workers' behavior is not only inconsiderate but also affects the author's digestive system, implying a visceral reaction to the unsanitary conditions.
  • The step-by-step instructions provided are meant to be humorous but also underscore the simplicity of the expected cleanliness protocol.
  • The author implies that the co-workers' lack of hygiene extends beyond the restroom, hinting at dental care issues.
  • There is an underlying plea for mutual respect and responsibility within the workplace.

LAUGH-A-LOUD

Why Can’t My Co-Workers Take Care of Their Shit?

Potty training a 30-something-year-old

Image by Marc Schaefer from Unsplash

Yesterday I asked my co-worker how our office toilet flushing system worked. He stared at me in confusion, but I made him show me. I had to be sure of the system everyone else was using. I had to know if I had accidentally discovered an easier means.

Maybe their way entailed them drawing water from a well to flush. Maybe they had to wait for 30 minutes for the flushing to occur. Maybe standing for 20 seconds to make sure their shit is taken care of is too much work. I had to know.

Alas! My co-worker pushed down a very visible button on the WC. Wait! Is that all? Are you sure? I thought this was my secret. So, y’all know this method too? Ye-ah Wow! Here I was feeling like Einstein. Notice how it took just 10 seconds to flush. Did you know that as well? Ye-ah.

Well, since you are so knowledgeable, why can’t you take care of your shit? Life is hard enough without me having to walk into your pee pond because you refuse to mop after. It is literally dragging a mop back and forth over your indiscretion. You don’t have to lift it. But, where is the fun in that right?

Oh, there’s more! Your souvenirs in the bowl. Is it some sort of ‘I was here’ graffiti for the rest of us? Or you purposely want to punish us like your teeth, with your phobia of brushes? As they say, you can’t shame the shameless.

Please don’t let me butt into situations like these. It hurts my eyes. It disrupts my digestive system. Makes its content move in the opposite direction.

Obviously, your potty training has eluded you, so let’s go over the details again.

After you’re done with your business,

  • Hold down the big, very visible button on the WC
  • Wait for the water to dance out in style, and do its job. Dance along to the rhythm if you feel like it.
  • Look into the bowl to make sure there are no remaining smiley faces.
  • If there are still any smileys looking at you, repeat process one
  • With stubborn deviants, the blue brush on the floor is to whip it in place, after which you repeat process one
  • Now, look for any outliers who made their home on the ground
  • Grab the blue mop by your left and drag it over, back and forth
  • No, don’t walk out. Put your hand under the steel box on the wall. It’s soap.
  • Turn on the tap and scrub your hands for at least 20 seconds, according to the CDC
  • Now, you can walk back to your office.

This is a 30–40 second process that will save us all the trouble of bitching about one another. I’d prefer to save my energy for productive work since that’s what I am paid for.

Capiche?

Now that we are friends again, can you do something about your teeth?

Want to laugh some more? Click below.

Life
Self Improvement
Coworkers
Humor
Olywrites
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