Why Being Judgemental Is Making You Less Creative — Part IV

Judgemental people have been judged in the past, so they judge others before others can judge them.

There’s a reason for everything whether you believe it or not, we just don’t know where to look for it. The most common reason why people judge is because they have been judged. It’s a defense mechanism they have set up to save themselves from the horror.

Our primal brain doesn’t understand the level of threat when it comes to judgment, all it can understand is the pain caused by the judgment. Our brains are wired to save us from any potential threat, anything that has even the remotest possibility of causing us pain.

But when it comes to creativity, there’s a bit of rewiring that needs to be done because to be a creative person is to walk a path filled with thorns and speed bumps. But you can change this reality by changing your mindset, by changing the way you perceive the path, and stop with this instant judgment game — with others and with your own self.

1/ You Judge Them Before They Judge You

I was born and brought up in a middle-class family in India. Conventionally, Indian families believe that controlling their children and telling them where they are going wrong at every single step is something that can help them progress and grow faster. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

“You become what you focus on.”

Sure, you can tell someone where they are going wrong, but it’s not what you tell them, but how, that will make a dent and an impact on them. If you start by telling someone what you like about them, and then calmly also mention the things that you think they can improve, the other person will be extremely happy to work on them. It just needs some basic leadership skills.

I was handled in exactly the opposite way, which is why this topic matters so much to me. This is why I became a judgemental creative person who was not a good leader to his assistants, who looked up to him, when they started out, but then, found someone else to work with, later.

Understanding comes with time and patience. When people begin to rush into coming up with conclusions, the only person they are fooling is themselves. Especially, creative people need to practice patience with all their might.

No, it’s not cool to come up with many ideas too soon. No, there’s no real instant gratification when it comes to creative life. No, with the sole intention of earning money and wanting fame, you cannot become a great creative artist.

For most people, when the above things begin to happen — it’s usually after years of experience and consistent practice, and intermittent failures. Ever heard of this story about a woman and Picasso?

A woman approached Picasso in a restaurant, and asked him to scribble something on a napkin, and said she would be happy to pay whatever he felt it was worth. Picasso complied and then said, “That will be $10,000.”

“But you did that in thirty seconds,” the astonished woman replied.

“No,” Picasso said. “It has taken me forty years to do that.”

Most people are not even aware of what they are doing to their creative life being judgmental. Most of us just imitate what we have learned from our seniors. But the truth is that this silent judgment gives a fake and instant sense of self-importance and we become addicted to it.

2/ You Were Habitual of Getting Judged, Now You Are Habitual of Judging

It’s a habit, an addiction. It’s giving you a delusional sense of significance.

Get rid of it just like any other addiction. Try judgment detox by being mindful every single time. Whenever you judge someone, tell yourself — I need to empathize — I don’t know anything about this person.

And the times when you feel you are judged by someone, tell yourself — I need to empathize — he/ she doesn’t know anything about me — he/ she is just projecting their insecurities on me.

When you attack this feeling both ways, what you will develop is a massively compassionate brain that is trained to think before making conclusions. And this will help you a lot when you fall into the trap of self-sabotage, which happens when you are too quick in judging yourself because of someone else’s opinion of you.

Just like any other addiction, this habit makes us feel too heavy. And creativity is taking flight into an unknown universe of imagination. And you cannot burden yourself with too much weight while flying.

“Get rid of excess baggage when flying into the fascinating world of imagination.”

Any process of productive creation can only happen with a playful and light-headed engagement with the work. That’s the reason kids are the most creative and with societal conditioning and bad practices of bringing them up, also, add some sprinkles of judgment — and voila, we create a robot, who is supposed to serve some company from morning till evening.

Creativity is our natural state as human beings and suppressing creativity must be deemed as a crime. But that’s an article idea for another day. Let’s get back to how we can help ourselves out of this rut of the judgmental world we live in.

3/ Validate Yourself and Pat Your Back

I know it sounds crazy to do something like patting your back. But the reason for writing this is how crazy and out of control it is to constantly crave external validation and external rewards from other people.

The only person who has lived with you all your life is you. The only person who’s capable of knowing everything about you (though you don’t know enough about yourself, neither do I), but the one who’s capable of deeply understanding you is you. But still, we ask other people and try to understand ourselves through their lens.

This subconscious need for external validation comes from a lack of self-esteem — because we don’t care enough about what is our perception of ourselves. But that’s the most healing relationship you could ever establish — the one with yourself.

“If you want to be a creative genius who also lives a healthy life — learn to mend your relationship with yourself.”

For ages, creative people have been deemed crazy or called names, because they think differently. But what is the perspective of creative people in this matter? Well, they either ignore those people because of the greater purpose of their work, or they completely sabotage their work thinking what’s the point of doing anything if they can’t even get recognition for it?

Many of the works of creatives have been understood and revered long after they left the world and sure, it’s easy to blame the world for it. But I want to give the responsibility of creative life in the hands of creatives.

LAST

Being a creative artist, I don’t want anything from the world to feed my creativity. No one asked me to do it. I’m doing it because it satiates my soul. I do it for my own amusement. I do it because I enjoy it. So, when it comes to a healthy creative lifestyle, it’s only my responsibility to take care of it.

“When you choose a creative life, it’s your responsibility to provide for it, not to ask your creativity to provide for you.”

All I expect from the world is empathy because people frown when someone says they want to be an artist. I want to change that narrative because being an artist or a creator of any kind is one of the most fulfilling works a human being can do not just for themself, but for the world.

And this perception creates friction in the minds of the robots to quit their set life and jump into the sea of fluidity where they can feel alive. In short, the idea is let’s make creativity and artistry cool again.

Have you read the other articles in this series? If not, here are the links — Part I — Part II — Part III — Part V

I hope you enjoyed this article. If you did, I want to tell you that I enjoy some COFFEE. Please feel free to click on the link and help me get some.