LIFE WITH SUSAN

Why Being Happy Is Difficult to Share

It’s easy to feel guilty about being happy.

Have you ever wondered why feeling happy sometimes makes us feel a bit uncomfortable?

It’s an interesting paradox.

I’ve noticed that people often discuss their unhappiness, but we rarely see anything that explores the complexities of happiness.

When we have this natural urge to share happiness with others, we sometimes hold back and don’t express it as openly as possible.

It’s like we’re afraid of being judged or misunderstood.

Defining being happy

Defining happiness is challenging because everyone’s definition varies.

This is made more difficult because it’s a subjective experience that varies from person to person and can be influenced by various factors, including thoughts, actions, and circumstances.

Happiness is often associated with positive experiences, such as achieving a goal, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in fulfilling enjoyable activities.

It can also be a more general sense of well-being that comes from living a meaningful life and having a sense of purpose.

I checked several dictionary definitions of happy, and the following is typical.

Dictionary.com

adjective,hap·pi·er, hap·pi·est.

delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: I’m so happy to see you!

characterised by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.

But I think being happy is much more than that.

It’s a feeling that makes you smile from within and brings a sense of harmony and well-being; you feel a sense of positivity.

In my experience achieving inner peace and embracing life with gratitude and positivity is the key to happiness.

I understand that circumstances can make this impossible, which creates a dilemma. Should I discuss being happy when it’s not a universal feeling?

The paradox of being happy

Sometimes, expressing and communicating our joy and contentment to others can be difficult.

It could be that we hesitate to express our happiness out of concern over how others may perceive it.

We worry that sharing our happy frame of mind might seem like we’re boasting to those less fortunate.

There is an unspoken expectation to bond over shared difficulties rather than celebrating moments of joy together.

Opening up about our happiness can make us feel vulnerable to judgment or envy from others.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to express happiness and share it with others, making it challenging to spread joy and positivity.

The impact of expectations

In today’s society, we are often overwhelmed by numerous expectations imposed upon us.

One reason we may struggle to share our happiness is society's pressures to prioritise success and material possessions.

Society often measures success and happiness by external factors such as wealth, career achievements, or social status.

As a result, many people feel pressured to conform to these ideals, believing that material possessions equate to happiness.

In my experience, being happy is so much more.

People may fear being seen as boastful and prefer to keep their positive experiences to themselves rather than risk judgment or rejection from others.

Thanks to social media, people frequently compare their happiness to that of others. The constant exposure to seemingly perfect lives can make expressing your happiness challenging.

For a balanced read view, this LinkedIn article Does Social Media Enhance Happiness?

Overall, it seems that social media can both enhance and detract from happiness, depending on how it is used and perceived.

Acknowledging and challenging these societal norms can empower individuals to break free from these constraints and embrace the joy of sharing their happiness with others.

Fear of judgment and criticism

Many of us struggle with sharing our happiness with others due to the fear of being judged or criticised.

The fear of judgment from others can impact us greatly, especially when it comes to expressing happiness.

We often hesitate to share our accomplishments or good fortune, fearing being perceived as attention-seekers or boastful.

There is also a strange phenomenon that makes us believe happiness is fleeting and fragile.

It’s a fear that if we openly express our happiness, it will somehow be taken away from us.

I think this is something I’ve personally experienced.

I didn’t want to spoil or jinx my happiness about a certain academic success, so I only shared it with a select few family members and trusted friends.

But let’s acknowledge that our happiness is valid and deserves celebration, regardless of what others think.

Communicating happy

Our emotions can be incredibly complex and nuanced, making them difficult to understand.

Sometimes, it can be challenging to recognise and comprehend our own emotions, let alone express them to others.

Emotions are complex and can intertwine.

Have you ever felt both happy and sad simultaneously or been excited and anxious all at once?

You could be happy about moving house but sad about leaving the friends and neighbours that have been part of your life for a long time.

Using words to communicate can be equally challenging and complicated. It’s amazing how a simple word or phrase can be interpreted differently.

The phrase “feeling on top of the world” can mean someone extremely happy and successful, or it could be used sarcastically to describe someone who is feeling the opposite.

So, despite speaking the same language, we still struggle to communicate effectively.

Without a proper emotional vocabulary, it becomes challenging to articulate and share our inner experiences with others.

Happiness and vulnerability

Have you ever noticed that being happy is not always as simple as it seems? It can sometimes make us feel exposed and vulnerable.

Sharing happiness is often misunderstood as an easy task.

Although positive emotions can be contagious, not everyone may be receptive to them.

Sharing our joy with others requires vulnerability, which can be a challenging and uncomfortable experience.

It means exposing our true selves, emotions, and vulnerabilities to others.

It means risking rejection or judgment.

Sharing our happiness can be a difficult decision

But should we downplay our emotions due to others’ potential reactions?

I believe that happiness should be cherished and appreciated rather than disregarded or undermined.

But, some people think that sharing happiness indicates a life free from struggles or imperfections, but life is a complex mix of ups and downs.

So, recognise that being vulnerable about happiness doesn’t mean disregarding challenges.

Embrace the positive moments amidst the chaos and acknowledge that happiness can coexist with struggles.

I believe that being vulnerable is a sign of strength, authenticity, and resilience, which allows us to build connections and enhance our sense of belonging.

To sum up

Being happy can sometimes be difficult to share with others.

This is because people feel pressure to conform, fear being judged, and emotions are complex.

It’s important to remember that our happiness should not depend solely on external validation or the approval of others, despite the challenges we may face.

Let’s shift our focus towards nurturing our sense of contentment and well-being, start prioritising our happiness and work towards achieving it.

Sharing our happiness with others may inspire them to find joy and create a positive ripple effect.

So, let’s remember that spreading happiness is not only beneficial for ourselves but also for the wider community.

Celebrate life’s joyful moments and create a world where happiness becomes contagious.

It’s important to remind ourselves that we are worthy of happiness and that our joy is just as valid as anyone else’s.

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