Why Being Different From Your Love Is Complicated And Fun

My husband and I have been married for many years. But despite this, we still disagree on some movies to watch. I love watching period dramas and foreign language films- but my husband purposely eludes them. He’s just not into those types of films.

He grew up watching John Wayne and Star Wars. His fascination with The Wild West and galaxies is obvious even now. I do not particularly enjoy them but throughout the years, I have seen more than a dozen movies with cowboys, horses and Jedi masters in them.

This is not to imply, though, that we have nothing in common when it comes to choosing what to watch on a Friday night. We do share some common interests such as: historical dramas and documentaries. Oh, and the Jason Bourne trilogy.

And it also doesn’t mean that he won’t try. I can write with affection, that he went with me to see Titanic and Sex And The City. In the latter movie, there were only but a few men with their spouses. I enjoyed that very much!

What a relationship does is that it allows us to practice empathy and to be more accepting of others for who they are. More often than not, we have deep expectations on how a person should be, or what we think they should say or do. Isn’t this the cause of so many misunderstandings and unnecessary fights?

In our minds, we already have predetermined conversations and scenarios that we subconsciously play in our heads. And when they don´t materialize, we become sour.

Think about it for a minute. How often do we get offended and disappointed with what our partner said? Or even worse- what the other person didn’t say or do?

On a holiday in Italy some years ago, I asked my husband what he wanted to eat for dinner one evening. I was hoping (more like expecting?) he would be more adventurous since we were away from home. I was craving local food that evening, so when he said he wanted a hamburger- I replied with an incredulous really?! And with the heat and hunger upon us, we were fast becoming annoyed with one another.

We decided, after a mini ping pong of bickering, that pizza was the best option that evening. Getting into a fight over food- in Italy- was simply absurd and not worth the energy.

Being married to someone is really like a big life lesson on how to handle differences. How we react to our partner and the people around us determines how much self awareness we have inside. Are we calm and collected, or edgy and reactive?

After years of being together we may feel like we are losing ourselves. It is a natural development, especially in long-term relationships. Part of being in a healthy marriage is realizing this, though, and coming up with ways to nurture ourselves better.

Being with someone means that we transition into a partnership-based relationship. This is when two people who agree to be together: enjoy life together, be accepting of the other and their shortcomings- amalgamate as a couple into a beautiful and loving journey together that has its ups and downs.

Marriage is a lot of conscious work. Some days are good; some days are not. Making memories together is the essence of two people connected by love. Loving in full contentment of each other is the magic.