Why Being an Actor Will Make You a Better Lover

Being sensitive and responsive aren’t weaknesses

What do the best lovers have in common?

My list goes something like this: intelligence, humor, responsiveness, honesty, empathy, sensitivity, and the ability to express themselves and understand you, for starters.

What do the best actors have in common? Hmm . . . you see where I’m going with this . . . intelligence, humor, responsiveness, honesty, empathy, sensitivity, and the ability to express themselves and understand, among other things.

It may sound like a flat out lie that actors are better lovers, mostly because of the stigma they have of being selfish and conceited, but hear me out.

My claim is that if you are an actor, you have an advantage at being a lover because a lot of the same skillset is used.

Consider each quality individually.

Intelligence

While all actors are not necessarily intelligent, it’s true that all actors increase their intelligence through the study of the craft. Several parts of the brain are used in acting, and according to the online journal Scientific Reports, it’s the brain’s structural networks which form between the parts of the brain that are associated with intelligence.

Humor

Humor. I’ve never known an actor without a sense of humor — you develop one when you strut your stuff in front of an audience which may or may not be friendly — and the lovers I’ve known who didn’t have a sense of humor, I wish I hadn’t known.

Responsiveness

This is the most used tool of an actor’s repertoire. If an actor can’t react to material, other actors, or the audience, what good are they? And if a lover isn’t responsive to you, you’ll feel like a heel when you express your love or try new things.

Honesty

Without honesty, an actor can never progress past caricatures. You have to be honest with yourself about what you and your character have in common in order to play them well. It goes without saying that you’d want your lover to be honest. Honesty is the only way to form deep bonds based on trust.

Empathy

Actors have empathy in spades. They need it to play bad guys, because without it, you just have moustache-twisting villains. When a character is different than you, you must be able to put yourself in their shoes.

And without empathy in a lover, you have what, a sociopath? Perhaps nothing quite this extreme, but you certainly wouldn’t have a good relationship with them.

Sensitivity

Actors need to understand nuances. It’s the difference between good and bad acting. If an actor lacks sensitivity, they’re going nowhere fast.

Lovers need sensitivity to accommodate your moods and feelings. When a lover isn’t sensitive, you’ll feel your soul getting trampled on a lot.

Ability to express themselves and understand you

An actor’s bread and butter is to express themselves while understanding you, whether you’re a fellow actor, a character, the director, or part of the audience.

And what more can you ask for in a lover than good communication? You want to know what they’re thinking, what they want, and that they understand your wants and needs.

The point of this article is to encourage people to try acting, if for no other reason than it will help with relationships. When an actor chooses to use their “weapons” on a lover . . . what a lucky lover! It’s a win-win situation for both the beloved and the lover.

Have you considered taking an improv course? Reading some Shakespeare? Attending a local theater’s classes, or a community college’s? It may not make you a Casanova, but then again, it just might.

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