Why Bad Things Happen to Good People
Or, maybe it’s just as simple as — Sh*t Happens
During my last visit to my eye surgeon, he said, “bad things happen to good people.” He told me this as he let me know that my total blindness in my left eye would be permanent.
I already knew this, as that eye had been blind for a year following four surgeries, including applying a scleral buckle. And my continued visits are cosmetic at this point. Trying to save the eyeball so it doesn’t have to be removed entirely.
I’m less concerned about the left eye and more focused on the remaining good eye since it has the same problems. However, the first surgery on that eye is holding up and stable for now.
I’m learning to cope with one eye, but total blindness is a different story.
But his comment, “bad things happen to good people,” got me thinking about that phrase. We have all heard it, probably more than once.
When a hurricane destroyed my Mom’s home, people told her the same thing. She thought it was something she did, a kind of Karma payback if you will.
While my Mom, and me as well, do believe in Karma and the whole what goes around comes around. My Mom’s home was just one of the thousands, so I’m dame sure it can’t be Karma or anything Mom did.
And what about my sister’s cancer and being told bad things happen to good people? But I’m guessing some bad people also get cancer.
Perhaps it’s said to make you feel better. It didn’t make me feel better. Or, maybe the doctors think we need an explanation. They want to believe that everything will somehow cosmically “meant” to turn out well.
The subject of bad things happening to good people appears to be much bigger than I suspected. There are dozens of books with that title, psychology articles that would make a tall pile, and religious discussions could fill more books. Then there are popular talk show subjects and documentaries.
I tend to be more practically-minded about things, and I never thought, “why me”; my approach is pretty basic.
Sh*t happens.
Not much more to it.
But I’m wrong about lots of things, so maybe there is more to it, but Sh*t happens sure seems to be the most logical explanation I have for the many awful things that go on all the time to good people who don’t deserve it.
So, is it “why me” or “why not me?”
The latter I believe.
But, back to my down-to-earth approach to things. I put it in the form of odds. Bad stuff happens to everyone.
So, my health has been good; never broken a bone and never spent time in a hospital. Well, there were two knee replacements, but everyone is getting knees replaced, so we won’t count that.
But my point is that I was overdue for something from an odds perspective. No reason I should be exempt from bad things happening from time to time.
That randomization explanation might be disconcerting or scary to some. Trying to come to terms with the power and influence that randomness can rule our lives. How does one grapple with losing control over random acts of adversity?
Sometimes people will invest time and resources into alternative therapies, second opinions from different doctors, and superstitious rituals to try to regain control. Our brain doesn’t like randomness as an explanation. Things must happen for a reason, a purpose; there must be a point to it.
Many will believe God is punishing them for something they did, some past transgressions. Or that they did something to “cause” it. Now I actually did the last one myself.
After the first surgery, I thought that maybe I wasn’t careful enough and started reading or using the computer too soon. But I did the same things on the left eye as I did with the right eye. One worked out fine; the other didn’t.
Randomness or self-inflicted? I think the former. But we do tend to search for a reason.
It can be hard to understand how a God who is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-good can allow tragedy to happen. Steven Weinberg commented, “If there is a God that has special plans for humans, then He has taken great pains to hide his concern for us.” Steven is a Nobel laureate physicist.
The theological discussion of good and evil and why bad things happen to good people is so above my head that I get a headache reading about it. But, as I said, whole books have been written on that topic.
But Sh*t happens — I understand.
But, I do like something Rabbi Kushner said in his now famous book, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” He said, “God is limited in what He can do by laws of nature and by the evolution of human nature and human moral freedom.”
He went on to say, “Let me suggest that the bad things that happen to us in our lives do not have a meaning when they happen to us. . . . But we can redeem these tragedies from senselessness by imposing meaning on them. . . . A better question would be “Now that this has happened to me, what am I going to do about it?”
YES, now that I can get behind. Focusing on what we can do now. Comfort and support those who experience some tragedy. Take control of what we can control and worry less about what we cannot control.
In the end — Sh*t happens.
