Why Are You Waiting Until Rock Bottom to Quit Drinking?
If you think you need to stop drinking, do it now.
Trigger warning: Self Harm.
I sat on the kitchen floor, bawling. My heart was broken and my body was numb. I couldn’t go on like this anymore. My intrusive thoughts which were loud during the day became screams at night. Alcohol wasn’t helping drown them out anymore. If anything, it was making matters worse.
I don’t remember picking up the knife, but I remember the conflicting thoughts swirling around in my head. “It’s time just to end things, let’s go to sleep forever,” and “You shouldn’t be doing this, your mom will never be the same if you die.”
I pressed the blade against my wrist and dragged it toward me. With each swipe, I cut a little deeper until the second voice in my head was screaming furiously... I don’t want to hurt my mom. Stop.
The next morning, I knew that had been my last night of drinking. My rock bottom was taking action on my deepest desire of leaving this world. I knew in my heart, if I took another drink of alcohol, I’d finally follow through with my plan.
Why do we wait so long to quit drinking? I knew for years that I had an issue. I tried actively quitting for 4 years before that awful night. I tried admitting I had a problem, but the denial was stronger than my willpower.
I could have saved myself a lot of pain had I listened to my intuition 4 years earlier — before I had to quit. Before I was in so much pain that quitting drinking felt like losing my entire identity.
I thought I had to have a reason. Like, if I didn’t have an actual problem or one specific scenario that made it clear that I had an issue, then I didn’t have a reason to quit. Almost like I didn’t have a right to quit without a big story behind it. I couldn’t just say I needed help. Why do we wait until things become worse to make them better?
Alcohol is Everywhere
The minute you focus on not drinking, the more clear it becomes how much we drink (or rather how much it’s pushed) as a collective whole.
Alcohol advertisements are expected to be around $7.7 billion in 2023, which is actually a decrease from pre-pandemic spending, according to a report done by Zenith Business Intelligence. But, I’m not talking about the blatant advertising we see.
I’m talking about the subtle ads that we don’t even consciously acknowledge. I want you to think about it next time you turn your TV on. Pick a show — any show, whether it’s on cable TV, Netflix, or Hulu — whatever your modality is to watch a show.
Make a mental note every time you see alcohol, I think you’ll be surprised how often it’s mentioned or used. I never noticed it until I actively cut alcohol out of my life. I couldn’t even escape it with Netflix! Even in wholesome shows, like Sweet Magnolias, for example. A cute show, easy to watch, and rated PG-14. The moms in the show though, have “margarita night” where they get together and catch up with one another. Seems harmless, right?
Except if you watch more than a few episodes, you’ll notice the trend that anytime they’re upset, they need to rally around alcohol to cope. It’s referenced often and drinking is in almost every single episode. There’s one episode where one of them gets so upset that they start drinking in the morning and it’s treated as a normal way to cope with sadness. Without concern, the other characters just join in the morning drinking. This isn’t to single out this show — this is a common theme in most shows I’ve seen. Mommy wine culture is the worst.
Take as Many Breaks as you Need
Some people say addicts don’t want help until they hit rock bottom. Maybe that’s true for some people, but it’s certainly not a blanket statement. And I wish I would have understood that sooner.
Perhaps if the sober-curious movement had been a thing back in my drinking days, I would have been inclined to check it out. One thing that both addicts and people who are sober-curious have in common: we need a community to maintain sobriety.
In hindsight, I’m not sure I would have gotten on board with sobriety, or even been sober-curious 5 years ago. While I implore you to not wait until rock bottom, I understand that you think you will never hit it. I understand that you’re just wrestling with the idea of sobriety, but you don’t actually need to quit. That’s exactly where I was just a few years ago.
I tell my friends all the time that if they need to take a break from drinking, there’s no shame in that. If they want to go back to having drinks — fine! I’m not the sobriety police. But, I am an encourager of trying it for periods of time. See how you feel! Add more time gradually until maybe one day, you’ll decide you don’t want to drink at all anymore. Either that, or you’ll drastically cut down your alcohol consumption (a win-win if you ask me).
You might discover that you actually like sobriety after a while. Noticing that your productivity is higher, your skin looks better, you’re sleeping better, your energy levels are higher, and your Sundays aren’t completely wasted away on the couch can become addictive in its own glorious right.
Don’t Wait, Just Quit
I love seeing more mocktails and NA beverages being offered in restaurants. I love that more and more people are choosing not to drink. So, if you’ve read this far and you’re still questioning if you should quit drinking even though you don’t feel like you have “reason” to… I am giving you permission to stop right now!
Please do not wait until rock bottom — whatever that looks like for you. There are so many of us that don’t come back from that horrible place, so why risk it? If you think you need to stop, then you’re right. And you don’t have to justify your decision to anyone.
You don’t have to get to your lowest of lows to rebuild. You can start rebuilding your life right where you are. Dump out your glass of wine/beer/cocktail and start right now. What do you have to lose?