Why Are You Hiding Out On Medium?
Sometimes, it’s just easier to talk to strangers
You don’t share the stories you write on Medium outside of Medium. Isn’t that strange?
You’re on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn several times a day and post about all sorts of delightful things in and about your world. We see you.
But never do you post about this part.
There are no links, prompts, or even a mention of the hundreds of words you craft for Medium almost daily.
Some of your friends and a few choice family members may know a little about your writing. You’ve mentioned it in passing during casual conversation, but that’s all — just in passing.
It feels like you’re hiding out over here. Or hiding something. You’re just not sure what.
Why are you reluctant to share?
You run through your story list. Maybe you’ve written about others who might recognize themselves if they read one or two pieces. And you’re feeling a little shy or sensitive about that.
Your best friends are indeed featured in your stories. You write about your life, and they’re part of that.
It’s also true that these same friends hate social media. For years you’ve been forced to avoid posting pictures of them at parties, gatherings, or any events you’ve attended together. (Although you’ve secretly posted one or two, they don’t know it.)
Unsure how they would take to stories that include them on Medium, you simply don’t tell them.
Or, although you were careful to change the names, some may see themselves in other stories and get funky over your less than favorable portrayal of them. There’s a short leap from portrayal to betrayal, as far as they’re concerned, and you should get ready for a fight if that story ever came to light. So you keep that group in the dark. Forever.
But here’s what has occurred to me.
Tucking yourself away on Medium while revealing your truth may not be about the other people in your stories at all.
Keeping yourself hidden on Medium might be all about you.
Yes. You.
The stuff you’ve revealed about yourself
Take the story about the ex-boyfriend who died mysteriously. Your nagging curiosity about how he died drove you to dig, discover, and then troll both his daughter and sister on Facebook.
You wouldn’t want too many in your circle to know you did that. You weren’t supposed to care that much.
To tell the truth, you’ve shamelessly combed the internet to get the 411 on all your exes, old nemeses, friends, and on some slow nights, just a name you remember from long ago.
Everybody’s done it, but no one needs to know you did it. Right?
Or the piece you wrote a while back about burning your journals? You felt compelled to destroy the evidence of all the years you dared to sit in judgment over your family and friends while crying about the men you wanted who didn’t want you. Book after book of the same mortifying drivel.
Those aren’t your most shining moments. You admitted to things in that story that you’ve yet to reveal in real life to anyone.
Perhaps it’s the stories about your parents and their marriage? Your mother and father are favorite topics but you’ve barely scratched the surface. And while the details might seem raw and incriminating at times, that’s okay for Medium. You can go there.
But to others who knew and respected them, you’re putting the family’s business out in the street.
So what if they’re clueless about the drama that unfolded in your home almost every night? Remember the old saying? What they don’t know won’t hurt them.
You want to but…
You want to post links on your social media sites. This is some of your best work as a storyteller, and after all, the more eyes on your stories, the more money there is to be had.
But you don’t want bad blood, conflict, or family discord stirred up by those who might read your story, take offense, and raise a stink.
So it’s probably best to stay hidden. Be casual, but keep out of sight. Write what you must, reveal what you choose, but never provide a link.
Let’s just hope no one in your circle ever grows curious on a slow night and Googles your name.
Edwina Owens Elliott is a visual artist and self-published indie author. She has spent over thirty years in the fashion, beauty, and entertainment industries as an art director, fashion illustrator, and graphic designer. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, WINONA, INC. and Linktree.